Face it! Nobody likes to fail.  All of us want to be successful. However, when you start down a path that you know eventually leads you to victory, you have to be willing to blaze new trails.  With each new trail you blaze there will be things that you have never seen before or handled before.  It’s all a magical mystery tour.  Also, when we depart on our journey it won’t be long before we will run into a skill or task that stymies us.  Yet, we know that this task must be mastered and completed in order to go forward.  It is at this juncture that we have to decide to conquer this task or we are totally derailed.  So, we go about the task of learning how this item or obstacle works.  We turn it upside down, shake it, poke it, study it, and eventually we arrive a solution or it will destroy our effort—–if we let it.

Flex Lewis one of my personal heroes and examples.

Justin Dees gave me a very solidifying quote, “Don’t practice a task until you get it right.  Practice it until you cannot get it wrong.”  A little story behind this quote.  I have a heck of a time getting my posing right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m much better but there were/are times when Justin is ready to pull “MY” hair out because I keep making the same mistakes.  It’s nothing but me practicing my posing “WRONG” which indelibly imprints old mistakes.  These cannot be corrected by getting my butt kicked by Justin.  I had to go home and spend enormous amounts of time in front of a mirror with my wife watching me to get it right.  Each time I go back for posing sessions with Justin it’s been a little better.  But, as Justin said, “I have to practice until I cannot get it wrong.”  It’s a small item but this little quip has put me in the right frame of mind while posing.  I can honestly say that my last contest at the Nationals in Pittsburgh was my best contest ever and I still could not crack the top five….Despite the 6th place finish I am very happy with my performance and the shape Justin brought me in at.  The victory here is that I did something well that I normally do not do so well.

Doug at Vasa

Do8g at Vasa Posing

Doug Posing at Vasa

Posing at Vasa

In closing, let me say that the only way to get good at something is by frequent repetitions of that skill.  There is no substitute.  In fact nothing in life can be accomplished until each of us submits ourselves to the demands for perfection.  We have to be about the business of being better always.  There is nothing new under the sun.  Personal self-mastery, communication, and love of your wife and family are the backbone of our existence in this world.  Do the task until it cannot be done wrong.  Be willing to fail so you will be that much closer to success.

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

When the world has turned its back on us and those whom we regarded as close and supportive friends abandon us, we always have ourselves to turn to and to believe in.  At very specific junctures in our lives we all will bring back to remembrance the horrifying event or events that left us totally alone with no direction.  Usually that seeming crisis is related to a very close and intimate friend that decided that they would no longer support our direction or goals and they said so.  Ouch!  We led ourselves to invest too much of ourselves in what this close friend thought about us and our goals.  We gave them way too much power to criticize us and to eventually hurt us just when we needed them most.

Doug at Vasa

Doug Posing at Vasa

The point of this article is to get us to believe in the things we believe in and want most for ourselves.  We are the source of the idea to seek success.  Not others who have no investment in our lives.  We have to understand that our minds, spirit, hearts, and souls generate the reason for our progress toward something of real value to us.  Believing in ourselves to be able to follow through with our goals in the face of tremendous opposition and abandonment by those we love and respect.  The only person that matters in these cases is “US” and we have to follow our hearts even when others have decided that we are delusional, are dreamers, and irresponsible.  Our goals have to be accomplished by us.  Those who do not believe in us are probably not worth the effort to keep around.  They have shown their true colors.

I have a very supportive wife and she believes in me.  But, before she could believe in me she had to know that I believed in myself.  If I failed at this point then I do not deserve her support.  No matter what, it comes down to what we believe about ourselves and our ability to advance and win.  There is no other way to approach the objectives that we seek than to retreat, think, and pray until we are absolutely sold out on the goals we have decided to go get.

In closing, let me admonish all of us to decide that we are the originators of our own destiny.  It’s good to have some support but it’s not required if our goal is worth it to us.  Look in the mirror and know that you are looking at the chief decision maker and your biggest fan.  Now go get it!  Listen to your heart and not others who have no stake in your life or the attainment of your goals.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

It’s obvious when I walk into the gym and nobody seems surprised that I have become a regular fixture.  Many people who train at the same time I do greet me with, “Good morning Colonel.” or “Hi Doug, What are you working today.”  The beauty of getting to the gym each day is that eventually your peers and friends and even my competitors get the message that I am serious and this is not the time to socialize.

Also, these same people and many others start offering unsolicited compliments on how I look.  “You’re looking huge and veiny Dude” is a common theme.  As Arnold said, “I carry my trophy with me.”  Another item that goes alongside consistency is competition in local, state, and national contests.  It seems that doing this raises me to a new level.  My consistency is now linked to my end game which is to eventually compete and win. Others in the gym began to see me in a much more positive light when they had put it all together.

The title of this article, “Want to be Respected?  Be Consistent” is the backbone of any accomplishment.  Sure we want to compete and win but in order for others to respect me that have to see that I regularly show up at the gym (my place of work) and that I put out Herculean effort to be better.  To lead people you first must earn their respect.  I can point to a dozen or maybe two dozen guys who have followed my example and discussed their goals with me who are now regular competitors.  This fact alone ignites in me a spirit to keep going and to not let these guys down by giving up and quitting.  They see this and they continue to toil to be better right beside me.

Doug Posing at Vasa

My Coach, Justin Dees has divided my effort mindset into two parts:  1.) . To build muscle you have to be CONSISTENT. 2.) To get shredded you have to be disciplined.  This little one-two punch has cleared up any misconceptions about where I am in my training.  My personal mantra regarding Consistency: 1.) Never Missing Workouts. 2.) Not talking during training 3.) Working harder than anyone else in the gym with me.  4.) Looking back over my shoulder as I leave and saying, “I own this place!”

On a personal note.  I am much older than most bodybuilders that I compete against.  It gives me great satisfaction to beat them.  However, just as satisfying is when they say, “I hope that when I am your age I can look like you.”  To me this is a moment of respect that is being extended to me.  For these things I am grateful.  I look forward to the next show just because it’s fun and I get to push myself to the edge and learn.  Win, lose, or draw, I am here and I am in the best shape of my life and I’m ready.

In closing I want to encourage all of us who take on huge challenges in any area of life, to be CONSISTENT in attacking the challenge.  Win or Lose, along the way you will earn the respect from many friends, relatives, and even enemies alike.  Never take the short cut.  Nobody likes a cheater.

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, (ret), MHSM

I have found that the moment I stop worrying about what others think about me, my fear of performance is lowered.  Going a step further, when we only see ourselves as mere mortals we are handicapped.  What and who I am is shaped by many factors, not the least of which is our spirit that we brought with us into this world.  It is the foundation of all that we are and guides us intuitively as we are exposed to many of life’s experiences and the lessons they teach us.  These experiences help to define us and to make us better or worse.  No matter what, the net effect is that we are who we are and we are shaped by many factors.

When we seek to advance or to change our circumstances either in battle, business, marriage or friendships we often have to reach deep to win.  Part of reaching deep is to forget all the limitations that we think we have that shackle us and our performance.  The total focus must be on the task and the goal without regard to ourselves and our limitations.  We have to see that which we must become to win.  Looking over our personal resources at the time of contest is a waste of time.  We will become that which is required.  There is no other way to fight or to move forward.

“My prayer is that when I die, all hell rejoices that I am out of the fight”—C.S. Lewis.  This quote and forgetting ourselves is the fuel that must be in place to win.  As we become that which we might become in the face of battle or personal trials there has to be an emptying of ourselves and a deep desire to push back on all things that limit us.

These facts have, to one degree or another, become the fabric of my efforts in bodybuilding.  When I worry about me I do terribly.  When I release this person called Doug I can then step into the person that I can win with.  When I go on stage I try to forget me and I try to project the best of what I have to the judges and the audience.  I’m not perfect at this mindset but I’m getting better.  I look forward to the next contest to put the person I might become to the test.

In closing, I encourage all of us to look only  at what we want for ourselves rather than worrying about what we are and what we don’t have.  Focus!  This is our time and we dare not squander it by artificially limiting ourselves with poor self esteem and the baggage it requires us to carry.

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

“When You’re About to Give Up”

How many times has each of us gotten to a point in our quest to accomplish something when the thought hits us, “This is too hard or It’s just not worth it?”  I would submit that we reach this juncture many times in our lives. It is very hard to get by this dangerous decision point.  It is here that we either toss in the towel or we find a way forward.

One of the greatest motivators that all of us has used at one time or another is based on something negative somebody has said about us.  Personally, I can recall as a kid people would tell me that I could not play or I could never perform well enough to make the team or the grade.  With few exceptions I tried to ignore the naysayer and do it anyway.  More often than not I was uniquely successful in the face of many voices telling me that I could not make it.  There are people in our lives that “SAY” they want the best for us and then many times they proceed to sabotage my idea, plan, or effort to win at something.  This stuff is a test from God himself to see if you/I have the sort of grit that is required to accomplish the work set before us or whether we will fold up our tents and go home.  My advice is to ignore them.

“Most Muscular” on Stage 21 June 2014, Utah Valley University, Provo, Utah

Neutral Position on Stage 21 June 2014

Before I/you quit just because a person criticizes us or our effort or our goal, take a deep breath and retreat to a quiet place and do some thinking and praying.  When you decide to go ahead with your plans do so with gusto.  Use this negativity toward you to push on to the winner’s circle.  It is here that we bring into remembrance the discouragement meted out to us by others.  These people do not have our best interest at heart.  It is here that we drive a stake and move out.  Don’t look back.  The day will come when your/my critics will be forced to acknowledge our effort and our success.

In closing, use bad things and the lack of faith in us as a motivator.  We are not to believe all the negative things said or expected of us.  We have to believe in ourselves and we have to believe that our aspirations are well worth it.  Get going!!!

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

In the last two years I picked up a key quote that defines what is required of me to succeed. “The Trophy is Earned in the Hours When Nobody is Watching”—Flex Lewis.  I have learned to walk alone and to work alone on the things that will make me better.  A crowd is no longer required for me.  I disappear into my music on my headset and I push my body to do the work.  It’s as if I am standing beside me as my physique is hammered into an attractive sculpture.  This maxim has to be understood and accepted.  Each of us in this world of bodybuilding must buy into the reality that much of the work has to be done alone.  There will be nobody watching us so we have to hold ourselves accountable to get the trophy.

We all have to decide that whatever we want to accomplish will demand that we do it alone.  This time alone is a struggle to do.  We are all social creatures by design but there are times when the best that is within us has to be drawn out by sheer personal effort.  I love the crowds of other muscle heads hanging around while I train.  However, I learned a long time ago from my coach, Justin Dees, that if you allow people to burn up your training time by socializing then I am responsible for allowing my training time to be stolen. Others do not appreciate our valuable time.  This training time is mine and I cannot let it be squandered by others.

The solution for me is found in Four Basic Maxims; 1.) Don’t miss workouts. 2.) Do not talk during training. 3.) I make it a point to work harder than anybody else in the gym. 4.)  When I leave the gym I leave with the attitude that says, “I own this place!”

The key thought in this article is that our struggle to be better is done by us ALONE. We have to decide that being alone and training hard is the best way to advance.  It is here that our heart is tested.  We have to define much of what we do with nobody around.  When I meet with Justin Dees my coach I try to pick his brain about better ways to do exercises.  He has corrected many a misconception that I had regarding everything from organization, posing, biomechanics of exercises, and focusing on intensity.  I then have returned to my world of bodybuilding isolation to practice and perfect what he has suggested/instructed.

Let me balance this push for seclusion with the admonition to get a sound training partner.  It is good to have a circle of friends and colleagues that encourage us and support us.  But, as I’ve explained the focus is on us and our training.

In closing, I and all of you must adapt and continue our training and efforts in total seclusion at times.  This is the crucible that molds our character.  This is where we meet ourselves and God.  Reaching deep means drawing on our inner strength.  Alone is the place where champions are born.  I encourage all of us to learn to “Walk Alone” to win.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

The best place to start is with a quote by one of my all time favoritesChristian Theologians/Philosopher and sage, C.S. Lewis. “Its not where you start it’s where you end up.”  To me this sets the stage for everything in my life and in bodybuilding.  It whispers to me that the place that I find myself this moment is temporary so long as I have my eyes on the horizon looking and planning to move forward to my ultimate goal or at least to my next goal.  However, it also warns me that if I have no vision (Proverbs 29:18, Where there is no vision the people perish……”), then I will be stuck precisely where I am until I decide to change and move on.  This is called settling for what I have rather than seeking something that I need or want.  None of us should “settle.”  In my world, settling is equal to death.

Do8g at Vasa Posing

My all time mantra that I live by and train by is simple, “Make Haste Slowly.”  At first blush this seems like and oxymoron but it is not.  It’s ok to be in a hurry to get someplace but reality and self-mastery dictates that in order to get to where we want to go we have to master the route and the method that is required.  Each effort in the process of attaining anything must begin with a hard look at all that is needed.  Next, I am a firm believer in starting where you are.  Your muscles in this early process are not yet strong enough to handle extremely large weights.  So, you start at a level that you can handle.  Work to exhaustion and then move to the next exercise for that day.  Very slowly begin increasing the number of reps per set at this level. Continue this until you are confident that a larger amount of weight is needed.  Continue with increasing the number of reps per set.  Do this process with each training session.  You are moving in the right direction at this point. Do not get discouraged just because you do not see huge gains.  It takes time and you can’t cheat your way to the top.

As the Title of this article says, “The Man Who Moves Mountains Begins by Carrying Away Small Stones”…..Make haste slowly.  Start small and keep moving to larger goals.  Set your goals high but do not believe you can get to your goals by any other means than hard work.  Like Jose Raymond said to me one, “Keep at it!”  He was saying to me, keep going, put in the time, don’t give up.”  Now I implore all of us/you to “Keep at it” and move slowly and deliberately toward our stated end.  “Begin by Carrying Away Small Stones.”  But, don’t lose track of the mountain you choose to move….No matter who criticizes you.

In closing, I will admonish all of us to set a pace that is sure and vectored to our objectives.  “Keep at it.”  The journey is in the moving of small stones.  The crown is found in the moving of the mountain.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

Motivation is the mighty engine that we all want to be operative always in our lives.  But, as is the case in real life, we cannot be motivated all the time.  In my opinion, motivation is nothing more than the starting point that establishes the impetus to succeed.  Motivation can come from anyplace.  It could be a proverb, a hero, a motivational quote, an example of somebody else being successful at a chosen endeavor.  Motivation from any source can carry us for a long distance toward our stated goal.  However, in every life there will come a time when no motivation of any kind will suffice.  In fact, it is during these times that quitting becomes an option because the thing that brought this far is now not having its effect.

I would suggest that when motivation is gone that we take a little time to reevaluate what it is we are trying to accomplish and bring it again into sharp focus.  We have to never take our eyes off the prize no matter how discouraging things become and especially when motivation to continue is not so strong.  This is the point when we have to decide what we really want and go for it.

Discipline is the motor, the enabler, the grease that will carry all of us.  In bodybuilding there are days when going into the gym is a true challenge.  Fatigue, hunger, soreness are things that discourage us and that make us question why we do what we do.  When motivation is gone from my mind, I take the long look and remember how far I have come and where I want to go.  I put my gym togs on and get out the door.  On the way to the gym I do alot of self-talk.  I focus on the workout at hand.  I think of the results that are mine to have and belong to me.  In short, my job is to make my body do what it does not want to do.  I am the captain of my ship and nobody else can make it happen.  I dig in and train like there’s no tomorrow.

I try to remember all the struggles that many champions had to go through to become champions.  Ronnie Coleman, Tom Platz, and many others.  They had to fight through periods of not winning and to keep their eyes on the prize in the lonely and defeated times.  My coach Justin Dees is forever telling me stories of great champions who had particular problems that they had to overcome to be the greats they became.

An example just happened to me regarding motivation and the requirement to implement discipline.  I had very little mojo today prior to my workout.  We have been moving into a new house, traveling to Asia, traveling to Washington, DC, a death in the family and the list goes on.  So today was hard to get going.  But, I went into the gym anyway.  My first couple of sets were horrendously hard.  But, after a few more sets I was back in the game.  I had an epic workout.  By the way, I don’t miss workouts.  If I had given in to the lack of motivation, I would have set up a system of excuses.

Another place to look for a push forward are colleagues.  Sometimes other guys/girls have been through what you are experiencing so don’t be afraid to ask them for some training advice.  They just might surprise you with something that will get you over the hump and propel you along the path to your ultimate goal.

In closing always remember that every training session is different.  Each session has it’s own lessons to teach us and rewards for us.  When there isn’t much fire in the belly all of us has to bring personal self-mastery and discipline to the task at hand.  It’s a very purposeful and focused exercise to keep us going when nothing else will.  Motivation has limitations and sometimes our character will reveal itself based on the discipline level we call up from our hearts to continue.  It is essential that we can divorce ourselves from motivation as the only motivator. More often than not, discipline is the power that moves mountains.

This is a maxim that cannot be ignored and you and I have to absolutely buy into it.  We shall not step around this truism.  More often than we would like to think our friends, who mean well, are our biggest obstacles to building a solid “can do” attitude.  They have an amazing influence over how we see ourselves and how we envision our futures.  This influence does not necessarily reveal itself until we actually begin the journey to accomplishing our dreams or goals.  The first thing they see is that they would not invest themselves in the type or amount of work that is required. They are masters at imposing their opinions on you by word, facial expression, body language, and sometimes by way of a verbal challenge to what it is you are doing and why.  In our world, mine in particular, it is imperative that I draw on what is recorded in my psyche only.  It’s important to integrate all things related to my quest that are helpful and to jettison all things that are not helpful.

Last weekend I competed in the “National Masters Bodybuilding Championships” in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  I had dropped down from a light heavyweight to a middleweight division and I was in the best shape of my life. I was well conditioned, body fat was at 0%.  My posing thanks to my coach Justin Dees was right on point.  I posed aggressively and I just knew I would do well.  In the end I did not crack the top 5.  I was in the 2nd tier.  I was in total disarray emotionally and I thought I had let my coach down.  But, after a time and a great deal of conversation with my wife, I concluded that I had done my best and the placement was secondary.  I have three goals when I hit the stage: 1.) Be in the best shape of my life. 2.) Don’t embarrass myself. 3.) Move up in the placement if I can.  In this case I accomplished the first two.  But, the hard core lesson for me was that I had sculpted my body and posed like a champ.  I do not control what the judges see or decide.  My only responsibility is to be as ready as I can to give it my all.

The only thing I can do is believe that I can improve and eventually win.  No other voices are allowed to influence me.  It says in the New Testament that when Jesus began his final trek to Jerusalem that he “set his face like flint.”  That’s the sort of commitment to make the climb to being better and to win.  There can be nothing short all out dedication to the cause that I have set before myself.

In closing, there can be nobody else involved as we etch our vision on our hearts.  This setting of the rudder can only be accomplished by us and us alone.  It’s lonely and it is scary sometimes.  But the thing that pushes us forward must come from within.  So, block out all naysayers and those that seek our mediocrity.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

NATIONALS 2018 PITTSBURGH

So many times in our lives we judge ourselves by comparing ourselves to others.  We look at their physical possessions, the amount of money they have, the handsomeness that they have, the clothes they wear, the friends they associate with, their athletic talents and gifts.  In any case we are after something that “Can’t be Purchased.”  Often the thing we desire will only be obtained through sheer effort.  We don’t always have natural talents or support to press on to victory.  We have to reach deep to find the heart that is required to be better than our competitors and the thing we want does not have a price tag.

Retreating to my world of bodybuilding I can tell you that there are so many other bodybuilders that are more gifted than me.  I look at these guys backstage and I am amazed at their physiques.  I am also aware of how much work has been poured into the battle to be their best.  This work came at a cost and it is rarely money.

My journey requires me to train hard 6 days per week.  I have to eat right, take the right kind of supplements, stay fit with the right amount of aerobic work, and I’ve got to pay close attention to my posing which can make the difference between looking great and looking not so great on stage.  None of this is bought with money.  The trophy in the end is a destination and a goal.  It has to be earned with blood, sweat, and tears, generated by sheer effort and know how. Nothing is free but rest assured that none of these monumental goals can be purchased with money.  If it could be purchased then everybody would have it.  But, again—-it cannot be purchased.

In closing, note that the thing that you seek will cost you everything except money.  The value is in making the journey from start to finish.  The teacher is the experience in sticking it out and doing your best under the worst of circumstances sometimes.

In short: “What I’m After Can’t be Purchased.”

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM