Six Pack and Senior

As I get older (and I’m so damned old that you can find my fingerprints on the Rosetta Stone) I have to pursue all that I do with an eye toward winning and not just participating. My philosophy is, “Why do it if you don’t want the best?” I make no excuses for my age. I am a “singularity.” I am here and I must be dealt with according to the rules of the game without regard to age or infirmities.

Too often all of us has a crisis of faith in ourselves and we do about three things to feel/be better; 1.) We have a ready made convenient excuse that will explain our failure to win or to at least be ready. 2.) We quit and then we submit a ready made excuse to save face. 3.) We look around. Decide we are capable and get our asses in the game.

Next up for the geriatric bodybuilder are 4 shows in 2022. Oh, I am aware of the wear and tear on my body and my wallet that will be wrought. But, I do it just to know that “I AM STILL IN CHARGE.” For me it’s all about self-mastery. Deciding what to do and then planning to accomplish my goals, sticking to the plan, and winning (finishing the course).

Face it gang! We all have things we want to do so now is the time to get started. I recall a conversation I was having with a good friend of mine, Doug Andrewski, who puts on the “Titan Championships” bodybuilding contest in Wisconsin every year. I said out loud, “I wish I had started competing when I was much younger!” Doug Came back with the greatest piece of wisdom I have ever heard. He said, “Look Doug (me) all we have is today AND you have a ton of potential.” This bit of advice and perspective took me by storm. I have been forever grateful to Doug Andrewski for this quip. Since then, I have forgotten about my years. Instead, I focus like I always have on just improving and being my best. I’m still here guys!!

To all the other guys who worry that they are too old to set massive goals in bodybuilding I say, “GET YOUR ASSES IN THE GAME.” Nobody is going to do it for you. It’s your call to either sit out or get onto the field of contest. Besides, I love seeing my old muscle head friends on stage. Also, you will probably add a few more years to your life! As a bonus, your wife gets the best of you.

In closing remember Doug Andrewski’s admonition, “Look! All we have is today AND all of us has tons of potential.” See you in the gym or on stage…..Your geriatric traveling companion…..Doug Graham

This absolute maxim seems to be rarely discussed today like it was when I was a kid. While I was growing up there was a heavy dose of masculinity and the demand to become a man. There was the expectation that finding that “every man” place for me had to occur. Passing through the many rights of passage that young men go through prepared me for asking the ultimate questions: What do I want and what is worth giving my all for. There are numerous other soul-searching things that lend themselves to defining what we want and what we are willing to do to have them.

Speaking to all of us who do bodybuilding and who have families, it has to be established that our objectives, and possessions, and loves will require far more than feelings. Each thing we love will demand that we fight to possess them, keep them, and hold them dear. My wife, my kids are everything to me. I will never back down from whatever the challenge needed to keep them close and happy. My protection of them is paramount. Note that if I ever ceased to fight for them I would lose them. I will have nobody to blame but myself.

Jumping abruptly to bodybuilding. If we want the next level to occur then a fight will be in the picture. We fight to define the next level. We fight to believe in ourselves. We fight to muster the motivation. We fight to plan and be disciplined enough to advance—daily. We have to love it. We have to want to possess it. We must hold those goals in mind and close to us. So tight that nobody can take them away from us.

My family gets all of me forever! Bodybuilding, as cool as it is, will be a distant second. But, each of these will ask much of us.

In closing. Let’s be men of principle, direction, courage, and champions. We will win always if we keep the important things uppermost in our minds and hearts. I love my wife. I love bodybuilding. Both have to be fought for but let us never forget which is most important…..Your wives and your families.

“Let’s kick the door down” and get out there and do the right thing.

Written as a stream of consciousness. It just seemed to be the right thing to do.

There isn’t anything that we set out to have or do that will not be threatened by obstacles. Some obstacles are personal, physical, external, or a perception that what we are about to attempt is out of reach. Personal obstacles are those things that we believe about ourselves. It comes in the form of self confidence or desire or a total lack of belief in ourselves. It all comes down our ability to see ourselves as champions or excuse makers. The question to me is, “HOW BAD DO WE WANT IT?” External obstacles are things that we do not have much control over but still need to be negotiated. Car broke down. House burned down. Child or spouse is sick. Hard as these things are we have to figure out a way to not let them derail us.

If we truly want something that we set out to do or obtain we have to have decided that this quest was worth it. The first test of our resolve is faced when something gets in the way. Do we quit? Do we take a break to figure out what needs to be done? Then do we press forward beyond the obstacle to proceed onto victory?

In bodybuilding there are going to be tons of things that keep us from training, eating right, taking the right supplements, doing cardio etc. My first and foremost problem must be solved first, “HOW BAD DO I WANT IT?” To me this is the nugget of truth that will drive us forward once we have decided that we will do anything to be better and to win. When we then face an obstacle we immediately roll up our sleeves to fix the problem or to overcome the rock on our path. Push until you can push no more. Change tools if necessary. Dress differently. Double down on the problem area….No matter what we must clear the obstacle. Focus is everything! Never look back. Never listen to close friends, relatives and knuckleheads. Develop a proverb, a mantra, a motivating quote that will drive you to the end.

You get the picture! Nothing can come between us and the goals we have set. Nobody is going to do it for us. Nobody’s going to tell you to turn off the TV. Nobody’s going to get us up in the morning to train. As I’ve said before, “THIS IS OUR TIME AND THIS IS OUR LIFE.” Go for it but be sure you want it!

How many times have you heard people declare that they would like to start training but they don’t have time, or I don’t want to get big I just want to get toned, or I will start after (you fill in the blank). The list of reasons why “NOT TO START” is endless. Hell, all of us used many of these same excuses ourselves before we came face to face with ourselves regarding training. In reality, there is always a ready reason to not do what we ought to do. It’s easy to utter non-sense than to invest in the effort to be better. Let’s just extend this to any challenge in life that presents itself. Conventional wisdom is that nothing gets done until you decide that it’s worth doing or required.

In my life I had to get over the notion that “I’m too old.” Or “at my age I could get hurt.” Another one is that “People who know me would think I’m living out a fantasy and I just won’t ever grow up.” So, you see we let other people’s opinions of us cause paralysis and we return to the predicable world that is expected of us by a legion of naysayers. Thus, nothing is done and we are miserable for having caved. I have to admit that getting started required that I develop my own self-talk and my own mantras that played in my head to keep me going. I had to decide that I don’t care what others say and that “this is my decision and my life.” Some have said that I do bodybuilding and other things that seem big and out of reach because I want others to like me. My effort must match the degree of acceptance that I perceive is needed.

Cutting to the chase. This is my time and it is your time to shine at whatever you decide is important. Let’s not waste time worrying about the opinions of others who are also stuck in their world of mediocrity with no way out. Each of us has great things inside us that need to be advanced. I love bodybuilding. I have wanted to integrate it into my life for decades and I finally took the plunge despite being “too old” and “refusing to grow up” as my critics have said. You love something that is on your heart to do. Now is your time! Start and never look back. Make no apologies. The naysayers will melt away as you accomplish that for which you are called. Break the imposed mold of expectation and reach for the adventure that belongs to only you. Don’t be a critic but rather be an advocate for excellence and daring.

In closing, “THIS IS OUR TIME. LIFT WHERE YOU STAND AND START. NEVER BACK DOWN” May all of us answer the call of our passions. Critics will be silenced and many will be blessed because of your courage and tenacity to excel in the face of horrific criticism and antagonism. See you on the other side winning!!

Some simple advice for all of us who seek to advance, improve, or to win…..Be quiet! Look inside yourself for the vision, strength, commitment, and inspiration to push forward to our understood or stated goals. There is no substitute for prayer and meditation in an effort to get in touch with the thing needed to attack the difficulties that lie between us and our objectives. When alone, stay there until G9d gives you the answer or vision to follow.

I worked for the Air Force Surgeon General for a few years and he had a favorite saying he’d use when fighting back or winning was on the line. He’d say, “TIME TO FIX BAYONETS AND COME OUT OF THE FOX HOLES AND ATTACK!” This is precisely how we should see ourselves. We have to see our journey with a sense of urgency. We ARE the underdogs and we cannot lose. We have to perform no matter the cost.

As we solidify our resolve, many outside our lives (per Coach Jeff Later: will see only a person that is obsessed, self-absorbed, vain, restricted. When in reality what these same people don’t see is somebody who is disciplined, healthy, self-confident, and free). We are “CHANGING” and this change does not require the praise of people or the loud music of John Phillip Sousa to motivate us. We who aspire to be good or great must labor in silence because nobody will do it for us. In bodybuilding we must change. It starts in the heart and mind. Then it spreads to our character and our ethical selves. In other words, nothing that is truly lasting happens just because somebody compliments us. We have to do the hard personal, inner work in order to accomplish what we set out to do. It all happens when nobody is looking. When there is just us and a dream.

In closing: CHANGE is coming just like we have imagined. Now, get up and close the door so you will not be interrupted. “FIX BAYONETS (QUIETLY) AND ATTACK.” Nobody’s watching as “CHANGE” happens.

This is probably the most poignant and soul searching question of all eternity! A Jesuit Priest named Brother Don Burn made this statement during my Hippie Dippie growing up days when I was 19 years old. He said, “You’ll never have anything to live for until you find something that you are willing to die for.” That was new and it shook the very foundation of my existence. To this day it’s a pillar of my evaluation to determine if something is worth addressing or doing. Another way to say it, “Is this woman I call my wife worth living for by being willing to give my life for her?” Answer is a resounding YESSS!! This assertion sets the tone for the rest of this article.

Bodybuilding all by itself is not worth a whole lot. But what causes it to rise in importance is that it demands a commitment that exceeds almost anything else in our lives. This sport teaches us much about ourselves that we don’t necessarily share with others. We have to decide from the first day that winning is worth all that we invest in on the journey to the stage. I doubt that any of us would give our lives for the sport but we have to learn to give what is required to be the best. There are times when we will feel like we have to pour out our souls to be ready. I would encourage us to never get our priorities mixed up here. First, bodybuilding does not rise to the level of giving our lives for it. Secondly, our wives and children are totally worthy of our lives. Just keep them straight and we will win and have fun at it.

I have four shows penciled in for 2022. I will train, I will hurt, I will bleed at times, I will probably get injured, I will want to quit but I won’t. You will do the same thing. However, during the journey I will recommit myself to protecting, fighting for, and comforting my wife always and to reconnect with my kids. If I need to I will die for her and them. Just keep the priorities straight and I will be waiting for you on stage. This is our arena and field of contest. Our homes are where we live, move and have our being…..Our homes are the hill we will die on to make them safe.

“A MAN ONCE TOLD ME……THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW IS WHAT HE WOULD DIE FOR.”

Only if you win the lottery is anything free. However, even when you win the lottery the government takes all it can despite you footing the bill and taking the risk in the first place. In the real world if you want something the price to attain your defined success is built into the effort.

Conventional wisdom dictates that nothing is free and nothing is owed to me/you just because we are here in this world. The very first thing we have to do is determine what we want and whether we are willing to pay the price to get what we want. Without this step there is nothing else to be done. In bodybuilding, we have to start here. Next, we develop a plan to get to the end game. After that we begin. We will invest our total inventory of assets to win. Our time, our money, effort, our sweat, and sometimes our blood. There are times we will pay with our bodies in the form of injuries resulting in repair and rehab. Not to mention the hundreds of hours of practice posing and presentation of our physiques before a panel of judges. There are just no shortcuts! My mantra is, “DO THE WORK.”

All of us who have been on stage remembers the exhilaration of just being in the best shape of our lives, standing alongside other athletes who have also made the journey to this moment. This moment is, all by itself, a success. One of my friends one time said to me as I was describing what it was like to be on stage, “Doug, when you are on stage there are a thousand other guys who wished they could do what you do.” Wow! I never considered that perspective before. I was instantly humbled. I had no idea.

The next part of a successful contest is placing well amongst your colleagues. Believe me! There is no greater thrill than finishing well and being satisfied with the result.

In closing, please note that the success and the journey are self defined and it is earned. Nobody has given you a thing. It’s hard but the victory and success belongs to you. Finally, nobody can take your success away from you. This is the definition of a win!

“SUCCESS ISN’T GIVEN——- IT’S EARNED”

This has to be the best definition for “DISCIPLINE” I have ever seen. It captures the emotion, temptation to not do something, the implied intellectual response to not wanting to do something, the reason or no reason to over ride our own downward inertia.

Vince Lombardi once said, “My job is to get grown men to do what they have to do when they don’t want to do it!” I would only add that it is our responsibility or duty to demand that we do what we dread doing when we’d rather not. These two assertions form the backbone of what we call “DISCIPLINE.” I have days like everybody else that are not so good. Something either physically, spiritually, or emotionally, is not right. When this happens I cannot do myself justice in my workout. Soooo! This is the time that I/we reach deep and get it done despite how we feel. Like my wife always says, “It is so easy to do but it is also so EASY NOT TO DO.” It’s best that we choose wisely here.

Bottom Line: When you want to do something else rather than train—-Forget it and get your butt on track and get the training done. No pep talks! Just do the work! My favorite Mantra that I repeat to myself during my workouts (especially when I’m not very motivated) is “Do the work!” Over and over again to remind me that nobody else can do it for me.

Keep at it and good things will happen. EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT—DO IT! THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF PERSONAL DISCIPLINE

I grew up in Iowa 4th born of 10 kids. Parents were poor and so were we kids. Bad housing, barely enough food, no religion, little to no supervision. This little description just about defines me—–“BUT!” I didn’t let it define me. I took each crummy experience on the chin, bled, cried and was defeated—–For the moment! Nothing prepared me for the rudeness and pain the world could and did dish out to me.

One of my biggest and most formative lessons was that nobody was going to give me anything and more often than not somebody would take something from me against my will. This sense that I had to do it myself imbedded itself in my heart and mind. This was my first lesson in growing up. I am alone and I have to generate my own success and if I failed, I had to learn to “take it.” Sports provided me with an avenue to be important, respected, and a smashing success, (I’m a legend in my own mind). I’ve used this philosophy of being a self-starter in everything I’ve done since the early days.

In bodybuilding I/you are the only people in the arena. We live and die on our own self-effort and self-determination. We are never satisfied with just participating. We have to set the bar high so that we “expect” to win. Anything less is unacceptable. I hate defaulting to the self talk of being happy with just being there. I hate “moral victories” because nobody cares about introspection and phony feel good exercises—especially when you lose.

We are defined by what we set out to do and that we accomplish our objectives. So, I try to accomplish my standard three goals for a show: 1.) I have to be in the best shape of my lives that night. 2.) I must determine to make no stupid mistakes on stage. 3.) Move up or place higher this contest than my previous show. These are what defines my “victory.” Oh yeah! If I win—-Katie Bar the Door! Drinks are on me tonight.

Bottom line: You determine what you want to accomplish. Nobody gives you anything. You have to do it yourself. My admonition is to get after it. “Hustle” all day every day until you win! The best to you always.

Somebody said to me once a long time ago, “If you want something to live for, then you must find something you are willing to die for.” This happened during a conversation with a Jesuit Priest (I’m not Catholic by the way) named Brother Don Birn. I was about 18 and living away from home for the first time and I was trying to grow up. We all can relate to that effort. I remember that this little bit of philosophy changed my perspective on so many things. I actively engaged my mind to sort out those things that were important enough for me to give my life for.

Several years later I found the thing I would die for. It came in the form of my kids. All three of them could make my heart soft in an instant. I’d watch them playing in a sand box, or pushing a stroller, or playing with blocks and my heart with swell so big I thought it was going to bust. This was my first real discovery concerning love and what it would take to keep and protect it. Thus, it has been the same regarding my kids since that time and will be forever. They have moved on to their own lives but they have become part of my life with no thought of being separated.

Not exactly a horizontal discovery but I eventually found a passion with bodybuilding in my later years. For some crazy reason the “bug” has bitten me. I train and yet it never seems to be enough. I have actually fallen in love with the effort to be better. I have adopted the philosophy that this sport requires my full attention. I’m not so sure I’d die for it but it’s well worth my best effort. I long to be always perfecting my craft. Honing the myriad of skills that it demands.

Just like loving my kids with an everlasting passion, there are some things that that love asks of you. My presence. My money. My home. My attention. My calls. The bottom line is that in order to be passionately happy we have to be engaged with that which we would die for or give our best for. Nothing can change us faster than the revelation of love and passion that asks us for our “All.” Make sure that we passionately love the right people and activities for the right reasons for we may be asked to give all that we have for it.

Learn to love, nurture, and embrace what you love with an eye toward it’s true meaning to you. Be willing to pursue it with all that you are. The reward is for you to attain it and keep it close to your heart.