Six Pack and Senior

Boy! This truth is so self evident that it’s unnerving. Too often we carry in our pockets a little “get of jail free card” that says, “WHOA! THIS TASK IS SO HARD SO IT’S TIME TO GIVE IT UP!” Not today PILGRIM! Simple solution to anything that seems like it’s too hard is to “GET IT DONE”—despite how hard it is.

Remember how we started bodybuilding? We got alone and committed ourselves to pushing forward and not looking back. It was a “Holy Vow” to do the work and let yesterday remain as yesterday. Some of us kept our “get out of jail free card” at the ready just in case we should need an excuse to lower our standards or to quit. I’m here to say again, “Not today PILGRIM!

Today when you are pushing through your training and you get to a point that seems insurmountable I would suggest two things: 1.) Get some help from a colleague if you need a spot or 2.) If finishing well is the problem, block out any distractions and dig deep and finish. The last thing we need is to quit once and then twice then a third time thus establishing a habit of sub par performance.

Key Concept: When bad habits occur the first people to notice is 1.) You 2.) Your team or your colleagues in the gym 3.) The last to notice are your competitors….(This is where you will pay the ultimate price). You will get buried and you will lose respect from others and yourself.

Bottom Line: Never think about quitting! Keep your “get out of jail free card” in your pocket or destroy it. Remember that nobody beats you….That only happens because you defeat yourself. Until next time! I remain, Douglas E. Graham—Your colleague and your brother in iron.

Nobody in their right mind would ask for a “hard battle” just to prove he could take it and win. I submit that nearly all men would want a victory by doing nothing. But then, in the process or zeal to avoid conflict and pain we inadvertently surrender many benefits that would accrue to us if we had to go through a “hard battle.” But, what do we know?!!!

Let’s define ourselves as average (soldiers) body builders just living our lives. God says to himself, “I need to win this battle and I need tough soldiers (body builders) to do it.” God already knows how hard the battle is going to be and he also knows who his toughest soldiers (body builders) are and he has a pretty good idea of their abilities and their ability to suffer and win. But, God needs to develop more tough soldiers. So, he calls many younger and less experienced soldiers (body builders) to the task. In order for these young soldiers (body builders) to emerge as tough soldiers they have to be thrown into the harshest of battles to develop their toughest qualities.

Without spending any more time on this concept, suffice it to be said that, Tough soldiers (body builders) are forged in the fires of trials and tough battles. We who train know that there is no shortcut to winning. We also know that the toughness required is attained by exposing ourselves, mentally, physically, and emotionally to the process. We have to have the attitude that we have been chosen to be tried and perfected by constant trial. There just is no other way to do it.

The analogy doesn’t quite work but the concept of being toughened by tough trials is sound. I would suggest that we “willingly” submit ourselves to the tough task that changes us into WARRIORS that can win because we “willingly” paid the price.

Remember! Tough Battles Produce Tough Soldiers—Accept it and do it!

I believe this with all my heart. You see, before I start anything new I have to spend a considerable amount of time thinking about whether the goal is worth the effort to pursue. I wholeheartedly recommend that before a person decides to do bodybuilding seriously that they get alone and try to resolve in their own hearts that this journey is worth it. Next step is to determine that looking back is forbidden because it is counter productive. There’s a reason why Lot’s wife was told not to look back toward Sodom and Gomorrah. Sure, she was turned to a pillar of salt but the underlying principle was/is don’t look back and “long for” the good old days when life was so easy and unchallenging. This new adventure is hard but it holds some of the richest lessons and rewards a person can reap from the effort. The next little item is to put together a plan and get organized. Nothing happens by accident and nobody is going to do it for you. At this point, getting a coach or a trainer is vital to putting it all together in a directed fashion.

Now, the question is still on the table regarding obstacles that we must face to help us decide whether it (bodybuilding or any other endeavor is worth it). Most obstacles fall into two categories: 1.) Want to or Willing to. 2.) Physical limitations. My experience has taught me that almost all failures or successes begin with with a “gut check” to establish how badly we want it. That time alone is where this occurs. We have to start with a great big gut full of want to. A Phd is long, hard, psychologically taxing and sometimes seemingly unattainable. When you want to quit is when you reach deep to see how badly you want it. Bodybuilding is no different. Pain, injuries, discouragement, disillusionment, impatience can steal your progress and threaten winning. Nothing matters if you cannot get by these “obstacles” that will certainly present themselves. Now is not the time to look back. Lower your head, concentrate, and figure out what it will take to go on to the goal.

As noted, physical limitations pretty much precludes any further consideration to continue in bodybuilding sometimes. Old injuries, blindness, paralysis, disease all can alter a person’s “want to” in a big way. This is not to say there aren’t things and goals that can’t be reached for anybody with physical limitations. This group must carefully select their ultimate goals within the confines of their limitations. That’s all! The same process of determining that what is desired is worth it applies. The journey is just different in ways that we who have fewer physical limitations cannot even begin to imagine.

Bottom Line: The biggest hurdle to overcoming obstacles to attain greatness in our lives is found in the beginning as we evaluate how much “want to” is required to attain the goals we reach for. Physical limitations are real but cannot be allowed to eliminate us from life. Goals have to change but the overcoming of obstacles is paramount to success.

Get a goal. Get a large load of “want to.” Never look back. Press on to the goal. This is our time. Choose wisely and burn brightly to overcome and win.

This is a principle/concept that makes me fear extreme effort! Muhammad Ali was asked once how many crunches he did. He said, “I don’t know. I only start counting after it starts to hurt!” Ouch! Most of us are meticulously attached to counting and recording everything so we can be precise about our workload. I submit that it’s a personal character trait that sets the standard, not the calculator. Oh, it’s good to know what you’ve done because it establishes objectively what we are doing. There’s no moral judgment against doing it this way. What we have to fix in our mind is that connection between our mind and our body so we know intuitively that we are doing enough and exceeding the requirement to grow.

In any case, whatever tool or mindset we use to establish what we have accomplished, we have to construct the next level beyond the best workout. This NETHER LAND is where character and real growth occurs. It’s a world that most mere mortals only talk about as LORE. They have heard about it but they don’t know how to get there and thus have never visited. We crazy bodybuilders are always trying to get to the world beyond basic effort and then linger there. We never want it to end.

For the sake of description, let’s call this world the “LAND OF PERSEVERANCE.” This is a land where a bodybuilder or other mere mortals goes to stretch themselves, pound themselves to be better, to be forged into a champion. So, when you are done training or working and you want to go home, don’t. Get a drink and do more. It’s the PERSEVERANCE that leads to unequaled and sometimes unanticipated success.

Lastly, when you PERSEVERE and you win, nobody can take your self-defined victory away from you. Success has many definitions but PERSEVERANCE is always required to be the best you. Always do more! ….. That’s where the gold is.

“YOU CAN LOOK GOOD AT ANY AGE—BUT YOU GOT TO WANT IT”….Doug Graham, http://www.sixpackandsenior.com

This is my “Life Condition” at any given time. But, basically I am a very impatient person especially when I feel forgotten, am disqualified for physical or financial reasons, or I feel like I’m being left behind and that I must catch up! When I feel like I have to get out there and hustle to keep up or to win I demonstrate the worst sort of patience. I’m short with people, I don’t sleep well, I’m constantly on edge and (like my wife says—I am always grumpy). Nothing is right especially if the net results of bad things is that I am to become a self loathing pauper. This end state is the worst possible outcome.

By contrast, I know that if I had a strong, sweet spirit that could sail through the day with a smile, graciously tossing rose petals to all those I encounter I would attract goodness from those that love me. Unfortunately, this condition is a myth. I am ashamed that I’m not a good person when I have nothing. Especially, when I also know it’s my fault. By my own admission I am defined by badness when I am losing and my patience is worn thin. But, I know that I can do better. This is when I listen to my wife and I try to be more patient better.

In bodybuilding you know objectively and subjectively that you are either on track or not on track. It behooves me to turn my ugliness into a planned, purposeful, assault on being more than I am–on time.

Conversely there have been times when all things are going well and my attitude is that I am mightier than I really am. I am so self vaunted. I think I’m so good I can’t be beaten. I am insufferable, and nobody can approach me the king. Again, winning is a great goal and when it happens we have to adjust our attitude to be gracious to those that did not win. My, how we forget so quickly what it felt like to be envious and wounded because you did not win. Attitude is about graciousness and focus on being better in the present and next time. Bodybuilding will bring all this out in us in living color.

In summary: 1.) When you are down I/we have to develop patience and consistency to go the distance. Waiting on God to do his work through us is a time honored difficulty for us mere mortals. However, in order to stay in the game when you are not doing so well is essential. 2.) When I/we win we have to define our existence now with our responses to the greatest glory at the time. This attitude that permeates us at the time of winning must extend itself to our own hearts and to those who love and respect us. We have to be better especially when much belongs to us after winning.

So! Be patient when we have very little and secondly develop an attractive yet competitive personality when we win. Each of these stations in life will provide a definition of our character. Pay attention! These things make us who we are when things are bad and who we will become when things are great.

This seems to be obvious but it’s not! If we all took a step back and reflected on the many times we took a different path rather than sticking to the one we were on, I’m betting that we changed directions because we gave up on something. We concluded that the effort was just “TOO HARD” Now, this is not a moral judgment or moment of great criticism, it’s just the truth.

From the time we were kids we learned from our parents, brothers and sisters,, coaches, and teachers that in order to win we have to make the necessary sacrifice. We have to put in the time, practice, and invest ourselves in order to attain the goal.

But, somewhere in the equation we learned to quit when the DISCOMFORT METER NEEDLE went into the “RED ZONE.” So, we take our eyes off the prize, we focus on the pain we are enduring, and we decide to stop—-because we deemed the process too hard. As a result, our goal or trophy or degree, or my focus on my affection (girl) slipped away.

What nobody educated us about was the scars of regret, loss, sadness, defeatism, and sometimes great depression that results when we quit because we decided that the challenge was too hard. Ultimately, we learn to quit and then to blame others for our lack of follow through. We ignore all the consequences of our dereliction of personal responsibility to ourselves and others and we redirect the cause onto others.

The admonition to never give up just because things got “TOO HARD” can’t be overemphasized. Bodybuilding brings out the qualities of laziness, unbelief in ourselves, arrogance, and the acute lack of courage to press on despite the hardness of the journey. We are totally exposed as character frauds if we preach one thing and do another.

In closing: We have to learn that just because something is hard does not mean that we automatically give up. We just can’t allow each other the luxury of doing less than our best. We have to look out for one another and be sure we are “FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT” even when it’s hard. Until next time!.…Doug

This story tracks very closely to what i/we refer to as “The Every Man’s Story.” Summary, 1.) Man is born 2.) Man leaves home to find his way or to become a success 3.) Man is successful 4.) Man returns as conqueror and victorious.

Almost every little boy and many little girls (I say it this way because I’m a guy and this is what I’m most familiar with and experienced with) dream of doing great and mighty things with the one and only life we have. Most of us on the planet do not have even the basics to even qualify to think this way. Eventually, we settle for what is possible or reasonably acceptable as goals. It’s not a moral settling, it is a practical settling. In the process we abandon the wild images in our heads of dizzying success and we reach for that which is practical and easily attainable.

Let’s jump right into bodybuilding…..shall we?!! When we start out we have NOTHING to demonstrate that makes us even remotely competitive. I had less than the average bear when I made up my mind to become better. 5’5″ and 150 lbs. older at 58 years old. Worn out from a career as an Air Force Lt Col and not feeling good about myself. I started this journey with nothing. I decided to begin training with no expectations other than getting into shape. I trained twice per day x 6 days per week for 3 years. I wore full sweats. I grew and didn’t even know it. I let nothing get in my way. Life had changed because I wanted to be better than I was.

One day I had to take off my shirt and I got the attention of several colleagues in the gym. I weighed 190 lbs. All said I should consider competing. I said “No WAY!” I told my wife and she said I should try. I’ve been doing it several times per year ever since. I just finished my 21st show. The end game for me is to let nothing get in my way and nothing will stop me except me. I will keep beating my grandkids until I yell “UNCLE” and I declare it done!

For each of us we have to understand that having nothing in the beginning of a journey is absolutely normal. The things we gain during our journey are bonuses. But, the most important lesson is that we continue toward the goal in an unrelenting fashion with no intention of quitting.

Key thought: “WE START WITH NOTHING AND NOTHING CAN NOW STOP US!” Starting in a humble place is no excuse for doing less than our best to be better than we are. Special note: “THIS REALITY MINDSET IS APPLICABLE FOR ANYBODY ANYWHERE WITH A DESIRE AND DRIVE TO WIN!” If you want it—-go get it!

We start with nothing and nothing can stop us

Life is a battle! It defines and refines us. It causes us to be better and more than we ever imagined just to stay alive. When we get up in the morning life is waiting for us. Our feet hit the floor and we are in the midst of survival and winning.

Someone said that “in order to wage war, you have to become war.” You have to understand what is at stake and what is required to be “still standing when the smoke clears.” When we fail to understand and we shy away from the fight we will find ourselves as the vanquished. We might hesitate too long and our opportunity to win will have blown right by us or the adversary will hurt us because we were not ready or because we hesitated before engaging.

Not every battle or skirmish is immediate. Most times we see what needs to be done and it requires us to settle in for now. the goal is out there but it has to be sought after using a couple gifts that not every person posses. Two of the mightiest warriors that we have at our disposal if we will apply them are: 1.) Patience. and 2.) Time. Very few people (myself included) ever take the opportunity to develop these warriors in our lives. We see a challenge and we attack instantly as a rule. But, when you want something or need something that is going to take a long term look and a plan we have to plug into a couple of realities 1.) Patience and 2.) Time

When my son had cancer. I had no immediate answers nor did I control the outcome. It’s here that the mightiest soldiers in my arsenal had to take over. The treatment and the course was going to take time. Because time was needed I had to develop patience as my buddy. I have/had no patience so getting to know this warrior was awkward, frustrating, and painful but in the end it has become my calling card for these terrible situations. I believe, because of my son and his Leukemia that I have patience and a clear understanding of what time means to win. None of this makes me special but it did define me and refine me enough to be a much different man.

In closing, nobody likes being introduced to situations and new skills to address new challenges. But, I can say that my favorite and most powerful warriors that keep me focused in times of real darkness are. 1.) Patience and 2.) Time.

Final parting thought! In bodybuilding there is no shortcuts. First focus is to be patient as the results of our labors become manifest. Time is the tincture that all bodybuilders and simple human beings must spend judiciously. We don’t miss workouts. We do not side step challenges. Learning to love patience and allowing time to do its magic is the sign of a person with self mastery.

Always know that the warriors of patience and time will never fail you if you give them the chance to be applied and understood. Until next time! Doug

When we first get involved in bodybuilding we have no idea what or who we are up against. We just know that we want to look like the champions of the sport as fast as we can so we can crush all comers. We imagine that we will defeat everybody because we work hard and we see great changes. In fact, our own imaginations are where our greatest source of self delusional thought begins.

First, the competitors on stage with you are not our enemies. They are colleagues who have worked as hard as we have to be ready for this moment. Win, lose, or draw we are here to show the world that we belong here and that we are ready. My mind never gives my opponents anything. 2.) My mind also does not take anything away from my fellow competitors. We have all traveled a very tough road and now it’s time to put it all on display to validate our improvement or to establish our status.

The most important thing we have to remember is that the war is with OURSELVES. We have to keep our bodies on full display for us to be constantly evaluating it and correcting deficiencies or enhancing strengths. In short! Our biggest and most intense competition is with ourselves. The journey to personal greatness is a daily proposition. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we have to only compare ourselves today with ourselves from yesterday. Big questions for us as we evaluate ourselves are: 1.) Am I bigger? 2.) Am I more defined? 3.) Am I proud of the changes that I worked so hard to attain? 4.) What must I do to improve each deficiency or to enhance my best body parts. I promise you fellow bodybuilders that if you forget everybody else and do what is required to be great—–You/I will win!

In closing: Remember that you are your own worst enemy. We are also our own best advocate and cheering section. Like the song says by Carly Simon, “NOBODY DOES IT BETTER!” So focus on you because nobody else will…..Winning will take care of itself!

Of course we all know people who were born with all the physical and intellectual advantages known to man. Heck, their parents also have enough money to undergird them through thick and thin. We seem to always be in the second position to them and there is usually no way to catch them and over come them. If we stop and think for a minute we should conclude that all is lost and we ought to pack our bags and go home.

However, most of us “commoners” were born with a sixth sense 1.) That all is not lost 2.) There is some hope 3.) We just have to find it.

The truth lies in the effort that we are willing to put forth to win. The “gifted ones” that are ahead of us still have to be acknowledged, sized up, and challenged. If we want anything in this world we have to know that not every fight is fair. We have to decide for ourselves what needs to be done to win.

In bodybuilding I often meet competitors that seemingly have it all and my heart sinks. Sometimes I feel like I should have stayed home and watched “Leave it to Beaver!” It would have been more fun. Often, I do very well and that stab of self doubt was is rendered meaningless.

My conclusion is this! I am not the best but I can compete against the best if I abandon jealousy and envy first. I then turn to the thing I’m good at. I outwork them in my prep. I lift more. I start earlier. I stay later. I peak out on cardio. I pose harder and longer. My wife will demand more of me because she knows I’m up against the best as she pounds me during posing practice. This strategy “ALWAYS” works. Work while they sleep. Work while they play. Work while they eat. The results will show but it’s all up to you. Never look back.

There is really only one thing we have any control over, OUR DRIVE! Never let natural talent overcome your work ethic. If you out work them—-You win!