SPARTAN SERIES #148: “THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE I UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S OKAY TO LIVE A LIFE OTHERS DON’T UNDERSTAND”

It was hard growing up with a host of voices who seemed to be absolutely certain of my future—if I would just listen to them! I have a mantra that I sort of live by and it goes like this: “DON’T LISTEN TO CLOSE FRIENDS, RELATIVES AND KNUCKLEHEADS” when you seek advice. Inevitably, I have regretted listening and heeding their advice. It doesn’t mean that the advice they extended to me was bad, it just wasn’t the advice I needed at the time. Sometimes what we needed most was a listening ear and a tender heart. Other times I needed to be put in my place for being so stupid. Other times I just needed a pep talk to embolden me to act on what I knew to be true.

In every encounter the price we pay for “the greatest advice on earth” is that we are obligated to actually follow it, succeed by using it, and then bending the knee to the advisor and saying thank you. None of this is bad and in fact it is good form but I was then tied to the expectations that the advisor had for me. In the end, I was not seeking my dream or goal but rather I was servicing a debt. I was not free.

Addressing the reality of getting older and living up to my own expectations has led me to do things that my family and others who are close to me to believe the worst. Bodybuilding at my age is needless, risky, a waste of time, and I’m living out a fantasy from my childhood, I will fail because I’m no young any more, there is fear that many others will make fun of me and will view my performance as a freak show and they will be embarrassed.

At this age I have nobody to prove anything to. I have nobody except me to please. I set my standards quite independent of what others think. It has been alleged that I need to be accepted and that’s why I’m always doing “big things.” Also, it has been said that I would be more favorably seen and that is why I push for grand and magnificent goals and accomplishments. All this is bogus but it is a lie that they tell themselves so they can understand and relate to what I’m doing. It helps them to bring me back to their level without understanding, or personal confrontation. In my world a simple comment would be, “way to go Doug!” “you look great little brother.” “Go for it! We’re rooting for you.” My critics no longer own me, my thoughts, my plans, my efforts. These are mine and I’m free.

Bottom Line: When expectations about bodybuilding or anything else comes to you as an imposition from others, we have to reject them. Bodybuilding has given me that which I did not have—-COURAGE TO BE ME ALL BY MYSELF! There is no requirement that anybody understands us at all. Win, Lose or Draw—it’s what I do and nobody else has to understand! This is our time. Don’t confuse it with other peoples time.