All of us have been held down by the opinions of others that are close to us. A Few of the opinions are well meant and very sincere but ultimately they create a boundary for us. Somebody in our life’s history has wanted the best for us and they went about the business of deciding for us what we were to do and how far we could go. These wonderful friends and relatives unknowingly told us who we were and what we would become. In our youthful ignorance we believed them and we established goals that others set for us. We were pigeon-holed.
Sometimes there were those that sought our demise or wanted to severely restrict us in the pursuit of our dreams. These people were usually jealous friends, colleagues or enemies. Sometimes these people were/are our competitors. This last group of people love to see us fail so they can gloat over us because we crashed and burned.
“Some Things They Said I Could Not Have”
I was born smaller than most of my contemporaries. In school I was usually picked last or not at all when we played games. I often felt that anything I possessed personally or physically would never be enough. I certainly did not believe I could be successful. I was told by example, experience and sometimes directly that I would not be good enough to play with the big boys.
At about age 11 my life changed dramatically due to baseball. In my first season, I made the all-star team. Baseball was the first thing that I was told I could not have. Baseball became an intricate part of my life and I was uniquely successful in high school as a catcher and a reasonable hitter. But, the secret to overcoming other peoples expectations is found in total commitment to being good enough. There is a quote by one of my bodybuilding heroes, Flex Lewis. He states, “The Trophy is won during the hours when nobody is watching.” I took this idea to ridiculous lengths. Quite literally, anything I wanted to be successful at I would invest hundreds or even thousands of hours in practicing or training on the desired skill. I became a very boring fellow. I did things like, running in the alley after dark. Lifting weights in the gym after everybody had gone home. Running the stadium steps in the dark. There were a hundred other disciplines that I worked at to be ready. I was primed to take “the things that I was told I could not have.”
As a bodybuilder, I’ve drawn on these old lessons to stay on track with my quest to win. Each morning I hit the gym for 1.5 hours of training. When I’m done I get my diet into place. I take my supplements and I set aside time to do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio. Nobody thought or encouraged me to make bodybuilding or anything a priority. The only person who believed in me was my wife. She is my stabilizing power and my greatest fan. She has been there watching me move from one skill to the next, from one trophy to the next. Christine knows my struggle and has lived it with me. By contrast many in my own family did not believe I could win in this arena. Most of my most influential family members thought/think that I should not be a bodybuilder. But, I am winning and I have set my sites on the Nationals to win my Pro Card this year. This is a goal that many did not believe was in me. Now, “I am coming to take everything they said I couldn’t have”.
Lastly and in closing. Listen to your heart first. Decide that what you want is worth having. Put together a plan to get it. Then, execute your plan with all your heart and strength. Listen to nobody who talks your idea or dream down. Put in the work. Remember, “Miracles Tend to Happen to Those Who Work Very Hard.”
Until next time I remain,
Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (Ret), MHSM
Six Pack and Senior 
on your blog now from dave Odfjell
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