Six Pack and Senior

We face the wrath of quitting on ourselves every minute of every day. Like somebody said, “99% of our effort is getting ourselves into the right frame of mind or mood to win”. As a consequence, I/we are always wondering whether we can or will attack, stay on the path and win. Each time we put on our gym clothes and head for the gym we have to dig deep and re establish the reason why we do what we do. As a consequence we want it all “right now.” We think that if we are going to be our best we have to get their fast, make refinements and press on. But, in the real world nothing comes to us fast — if it’s worth having. We have to buy into the idea that in order to be great we have to pay the price, walk the path, and never look back. The reality that quitting is never an option has to burn itself into our hearts and minds. There seems to be a notion that if we “take a break” and reduce our efforts to “just maintaining” we will come roaring back with new energy, focus, motivation and drive. But it never happens that way. Slowing down to “take a break to maintain” is usually a euphemism for quitting. It is a pretext for surrender and personal failure. Don’t do it!

Bodybuilding and life both teach us that pursuing a passion and a goal takes all of us. We may do things differently or change our approach but we know intuitively that forgetting what it takes reduces us to the world of quitting. No rapid “DO OVER” will make it happen faster. It will only be a down payment on our quitting and our eventual failure.

Bottom Line: Don’t lie to yourself! Keep going. No stopping. No resting. No restructuring while stopping your pursuit of excellence. It’s a slow process but causing a slowdown in order to go faster is absurd. Stay the course even when it’s slow, boring, and seemingly meaningless. Finish what you started —-don’t quit!

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Boy! If there’s anything that we learn in bodybuilding, sports or academics, or military service is that “NOTHING” worth doing or that is necessary to be done is “EASY!” It reminds of the recent quote from President Zelensky of the Ukraine. We offered to evacuate the President in the early days of the Russian invasion and President Zelensky replied, “I DON’T WANT A RIDE, I NEED AMMUNITION!” This attitude of having a “line in the sand” is what pushes us to do the hard things because it is necessary to advance. President Zelensky only saw what was “POSSIBLE” and knew it was not going to be “EASY.”

In bodybuilding we have to be willing to see what our next goal and then forge a plan to get there. We know from experience that there will be a ton of work but sometimes the stage and the next level seem to be too big for us. It is at this moment that we should change our hearts and minds from, I see it and I will wait to see if I really want it to—all I need is a window of opportunity to gain what is “POSSIBLE.” We already know it’s going to be hard. We just have to ‘decide’ it’s worth and that becomes our next objective.

In the military at any level, we never believe anything or anybody who presents a mission or an assignment as “a piece of cake.” Again, it’s never easy but we have already accepted this premise. In combat we hear or read about soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines that face challenges that threaten their survival or the accomplishment of a mission. Believe me as a retired Lt Col, USAF that our guys only ask where the threat is and then they run toward the canon fire. These guys didn’t sign up for “EASY” they signed up to do that which is necessary and ‘POSSIBLE.” These are our fighting men and women in uniform.

In our daily lives too often we are reactionary in our existence. We do that which is required as assigned by our spouses, required by our children, or our bosses. We are so busy doing somebody else’s bidding that we don’t take care of ourselves physically, psychologically, or spiritually. When we get our arms around this reality is here that we must decide to proactively go after that next item of accomplishment. We already know it’s not “EASY” and all we really want to know is that our goal is “POSSIBLE”—We’ll do the rest. Nothing is more satisfying than to decide for yourself what is “POSSIBLE” and doing it. In the world nothing is “EASY” so I urge none of us to accept this universal lie.

In closing! If you want something—go for it! Just know that it will not be“EASY” but only you can accomplish that which is “POSSIBLE”—Best to you always!

BODYBUILDERS! THE STAGE AWAITS YOUR ASSAULT!

by Doug Graham

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How many of us has done something really stupid that paralyzes our growth or progress? Probably everyone of us. The things that cause these retardations of movement forward can be physically, spiritually, or emotionally.

In bodybuilding I like to say that we should not listen to close friends, relatives, or knuckleheads when advice is needed. Often we find ourselves struggling with some new exercise or personal discipline to be better. We pour ourselves into it but the new thing is not helping as we imagined or we are just doing it wrong. This is where a coach is needed or a trusted training partner. With some minor adjustments we are off and running. Sometimes we think we know more than we do and we continue doing the same thing with the same results which makes us ignorant or stupid. Often the latter. There are times when we are working through a new regimen and it just doesn’t feel right but we continue until —- BANG!! There is a terrible shredding sound or snap accompanied by a pain that we have never experienced before. Just like that, our arm becomes lifeless and our shoulder or elbow or biceps ceases to function. We dangle our extremity and move off the gym floor to the locker room. That night is horrible and we eat more Motrin than we ever have before. The next day we are seeing a physician to help us determine the amount of damage done.

It is here that we begin the road back. We make no excuses. We blame nobody else but ourselves. We “IN SILENCE” and quietly “take the pain.” Being on track we do not display the hurt we feel.

Then, rehab begins. We are not at our best so our pride pushes us to be better before we go back to the gym. We do what we are told to get better. We take the drugs. We slowly start training again, all out of the public’s eye. We ask nothing from anybody but we demand much of ourselves—-“IN PRIVATE”

One day we venture back to gym feeling we have come far enough to not embarrass ourselves. We start slowly and before we know it we are back on track. Lesson learned and indelibly written on our minds. We turn to the stage and begin the journey back with a determination to shine again despite our setback. The path has been followed and now we are ready again to be our best —“TO SHINE IN PUBLIC—AGAIN!”

We can hurt ourselves spiritually or emotionally by violating basic truths that make us who we are. The damage is just as real and just as capable of sidelining us as a physical injury can. It hollows us our until we are incapable of motivating ourselves to win. We wallow in self-pity and loneliness until a good friend or pastor or bishop comes along and we lay it all on the table. This is the point when the hurting in private stops. Healing begins and nobody else has to know but you. We do the hard work of restoring the truth that was violated or tossed aside. One day, we get back on the horse and never look back. Being stupid is an event—not a life sentence!

Let me end by saying that anything can derail us. But, only we can keep us off track. We have the choice to stay defeated or injured or figure out a way to put it behind us. We truly are “The Captains of Our Own Ships.” ACT LIKE IT!

I was told once by one of my football coaches, “Dougie! You’ve got to play big!” Well, that little phrase that was screamed at me during a game on the sideline caused me to elevate my game to a new ferocious high. I’ve never been big except in my legs and upper body so for him to say that was a bit of irony. I’d been performing by just going through the motions and he needed more out of me. So, he dressed me down. I went back onto the field with death in my eyes. True story! By halftime I had 18 tackles and had blocked a punt. Even for me this was a major turnaround. Secret to changing my trajectory was “ATTITUDE.” Sure, it took a coach to insert it into my psyche but it was a change in ATTITUDE nonetheless.

There isn’t a colleague in bodybuilding that I know who has won or done something great without a definite attitude adjustment. Focus on what makes you tick. What makes you better. What makes you invincible on your way to accomplishment. Do not lower your attitudes’ expectations —“EVER!” In a spiritual sense remember that during the last week of his life Jesus, “SET HIS FACE LIKE FLINT TOWARD JERUSALEM.” He knew where he needed to be and at what time.

In another sense, we cannot live below the level of mediocrity and also expect great things. When we are in pursuit of a goal, a championship, a medal, a degree, or our wives we cannot turn in a lackluster performance. Put the “CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER” and dare any person to take it away. Push when there is no more push.

Prepare to win by first, “ADJUSTING YOUR ATTITUDE!” Feed on it! Everything after this depends on it.

In closing, “PLAY BIG!”

ALWAYS PLAY BIG WITH A BIGGER THAN LIFE ATTITUDE

We’ve all taken long walks outside in a storm and we felt the power of the wind, rain, and the thunder clapping and the lightning. The walk was something that rejuvenates us and puts us back in touch with the eternal. It makes us aware that our lives are like this walk in the storm. It’s ours and nobody can make the walk for us. We set the course and we walk. Most of the time we walk alone. The voices that are so familiar to us just are not there. We walk focusing on the “still small voice” that guides and directs us. It’s only us.

In bodybuilding. as in life, we are given advice by leaders, coaches, teachers, family members, and of course close friends. But, in the end we are responsible for what we do with any or all of the great input. Again, we are alone to decide and to act. When I hit the gym to train I try to remember what my coach has told me. Each syllable of his instructions is rehearsed and the proper movements executed. Nobody does it for me.

As we head for the stage all of us “muscle heads” are surrounded by well wishers but we ignore it all and we make our way to the stage “alone” to execute all we know to bring in a great performance. I do it “alone.”

The power we learn to harness while being alone can never be taken away. The lessons belong to us because we learned them alone. This power is the backbone of all things good in our lives. In silence and solitude we are in touch with ourselves and God.

Bottom Line: Learn to be alone. It is here that the power of your life and all you seek to accomplish is centered. I am better for having walked alone and so it is with all of us who dare to be alone to learn. Lastly, to be the best we have to understand that nobody besides us does the work. There is no loneliness for it is the classroom of individual focus.

How many times in our lives have we thought, “I have arrived!” or we say to ourselves, “It doesn’t get any better than this!” or my favorite, “There are no more interesting challenges!” So, we settle in to live our remaining days rolling in the clover of self congratulations. Wow! Probably not too many of us have had this sort of luxury. Most of us when we settle at a particular level, we do so because of feelings of inferiority or helplessness or discouragement. We begin to look and feel defeated and without hope. Thus, we do nothing to improve our lot.

When we are buried self loathing and defeat, we bodybuilders start to train with no enthusiasm. We train mechanically while lacking the extra part of us to do better. We go through the motions and maybe we even start missing workouts. We are stuck because we have decided that we cannot do any better on stage, thus we play “NOT TO LOSE—SO BADLY.” OUCH!

At the other end of the spectrum, maybe we have had a string of successes and we feel that anything we do will bring only more success. We don’t train as hard because we are so self-deluded into thinking that we are so good that we “have arrived.”

Each of these scenarios has to change or we will never improve toward our true potential. ENTER THE DRAGON OF HORRIFYING DISRUPTION AND DEFEAT!” It’s going to happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. The DRAGON will destroy our world of negativism or arrogance in a heartbeat. We have to respond well to this change or we will be stifled and we will step off the track to success.

This DRAGON will take the form of divorce, illness to you or a loved one, or worse, the death of a loved one, kids rebelling and finding their way to drug use, teen pregnancy etc. These DRAGONS can reduce us all to non participants in life or in many of our lives, bodybuilding.

The key thought in all this is, “HOW DO WE RESPOND TO UNANTICIPATED BAD EVENTS (DRAGONS)?” I submit that anything that causes us to lose our focus will kill us “in place.” Anything that drives us out of our place of settling will make us stronger and more determined to never return to the place where all life is gone.

Bottom Line!! A storm is coming, the likes of which we have never seen. That storm will disrupt our place of retreat or comfort. Because of the storm we will become champions and/or captains of our own ship of glory or fate. Look for it and be ready to travel to greater heights. The stage awaits!

This is not only a mindset is a monster personal statement or declaration. Each and everyone of us who hits the gym with the stage as our proving ground knows that we can only make the journey if we believe ‘we can.” The next part is to stand firmly in front of the world and especially the naysayers and trumpet the words, “I can and I will—Watch me!”

Long ago I stood in the middle of the field house all alone and vowed that I would be the best athlete that ever played here. By all accounts I fell far short of the vaunted task I committed myself to. But, the quiet desperation of a kid who believed he “could do it” was the beginning of a life of holy pursuit of that which seemed out of reach. I believe with all my heart that nothing is ever out of reach. We may fail on our way but the only true failure is “THE ‘Q’ WORD”—–QUIT! Anybody can engage a target but only we can put the final nail in our coffin by “QUITTING.”

Now regarding whether we bodybuilders “CAN”—–it’s an absolute yes. Now, because we have decided that we “CAN”-–we will….Just watch us (old people) do it an “WIN.”

In any other endeavor in life that is worth going after, take the personal dare to commit and do it. Let the naysayers have their self delusional moment while we “WIN.” Stand back world and “WATCH ME!” — “WE CAN AND WE WILL!”

The love of my life and the reason I cannot be beaten

Many people have said to me during my life, “If it were easy everyone would be doing it.” Basic to this is that anything that is worthy of our complete attention and demands our best effort is very much worth it! We have to understand that in order to be our best on stage and in our personal lives we have to never delude ourselves into thinking that what we want is going to be a “snap.” At the same time we have to decide that no matter what our goals are worth the effort and the journey is our calling. The goal is our destination and it is magnificent. But! More than that the way forward is lined with goodness and opportunities to be our best.

I wish I had more to say but the bottom line is that whatever our destination it is “WORTH IT!” This journey is “OURS” because we chose it. Nobody can do it for us and nobody can take it away from us. For us bodybuilders! It’s onto the stage! For the rest of us it is onto mountain top that belongs to you—-BECAUSE IT’S HARD (NOT EASY) AND IT’S WORTH IT! SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

My family that is easy to love and they are “WORTH IT!”

All of us has faced this dilemma. We are cornered and there is no place to run to, nobody to come to our rescue, all our friends are someplace else. The danger is right in front of us. It’s do our die. At this point there is no fright or flight response. We are on the chopping block and its time to man up. Whoever the aggressor is needs to know that they are dealing with a person who is not going to roll over and take an ass kicking needlessly. Time to fix bayonets and come out of the fox hole and go hand to hand.

All this is metaphorical (for now) but each of us needs to know that there are times when “no one else is going to be at our side” when trouble hits. There is a tendency to allow evil to have its way with us when we don’t deserve it because it’s too embarrassing, we are rendered helpless by circumstances or politics. More often than not we take stripes that don’t belong to us. It’s during these times that we first learn that we have “stand up for ourselves”—we have to puff our chests and say NO!

All of us guys (maybe some girls, I don’t know) have had a bigger guy pick on us. In my case he would take my cute little lunch box that looked like a barn with animals painted on it all the rest and he would take my lunch out and throw it on the ground and smash my “Little Red Barn Lunchbox.” This happened a couple times a week. My mom was pretty upset about fixing or replacing my lunchbox, not to mention the black eyes and torn clothing. Then, my big brother told me (I was in 3rd grade) to pick up a stick or anything and when he came around to do his worse—POW! Let him have it….Don’t stop hitting him until he goes away. I had nothing to lose. When he came around to destroy my life I hit him in the face with a rock. I opened a wide gash over his right eye and there was instant ceasing of aggression and blood everywhere. I got a call from his parents that night and I let my mom do her worst. I had no further attacks on my “Little Red Barn” from that day forward. This is the lesson of life, “YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE” and it takes massive courage to “STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.”

In bodybuilding we have to be our own advocates. Nobody tells us to train or the get ready or to eat right. But, we know that. if we are not ready for the stage our competition will embarrass us before God and everybody. Nobody comes to our rescue. Now, is the time to “get ready to rumble!” We must stand up for ourselves. Bodybuilding reinforces these basic human traits. We know that if we don’t do it ourselves nobody else will be there.

Bottom Line: Have no regret! This is our life. Nobody can take it from us…..we can only surrender. NOT AN OPTION!

I hate to go into anything with a mindset of “PLAYING NOT TO LOSE!” To me this means I am always on defense trying to mitigate risk and minimize damage so as to have just enough left in the tank at the end to avoid total annihilation. This frame of mind has already lost. This thinking exudes fear and fatalism. Wow! What a crummy way of taking on the world. I reject this with all my heart and soul.

On the other hand, I love to go after things with my whole heart! With my whole being. I’m not going to lose because I have chosen win! I define victory and I’m not rolling over for anybody.

When I train daily I’m focused and not talking. When I prep for a contest I listen to instruction and my wife who is my posing coach, but nobody else. My daily effort is focused on food, training, cardio, and posing. Like it sayS, “I’M ALL IN!” Bodybuilding is not for the faint of heart. To do well you have to, “GO ALL IN!” There is no other way to play the game and have any expectation of success.

In life it’s the same thing, “You have to go ALL IN or forget it. Go home and return to your life of boredom and predictability. But! To win you have to “GO ALL IN” leaving nothing to chance. Superhuman effort defines using bodybuilding and in life. If we are not “ALL IN” then something else will define us.—We definitely do not want that.