Category: General

Too often we live our lives by judging ourselves based on where we are.  We take a look at ourselves, our physical appearance, our circumstances, our self-esteem and self-confidence etc. and conclude there is no reason to try to be different.  We are paralyzed by “today.”  For instance.  Today, I am ugly.  Today, I a weakling. Today, I am not qualified.  Today, is all I can look forward to.  In effect, we have settled due to a thousand little bits of discouragement.  These bits of discouragement have stolen our dreams and our aspirations to be something better than we are.

The really sad thing is that we have developed a personal narrative that gives us a ready made excuse to not try.  Example: Oh, I don’t want to look like that.  I just don’t have the discipline to make this happen.  I hurt my knee the last time I tried to get into great shape andI am afraid I will hurt it again.  The list of excuses is legion!  Each excuse becomes a truism that we hide behind to dismiss ourselves from going after the great things that are bubbling inside us to accomplish.

Truth Number One:

We have to understand that we “can” do anything we set out to do.  Where we are is only the beginning of the journey to greatness.  We have to imagine that the starting point is similar to pushing off the bottom of a swimming pool to the surface.  Once we shove off the bottom we are on our way.  But shove off we must if we are to avoid drowning in our decision to be nothing more than who we are.

Truth Number Two:

We have to fix our end result firmly in our minds.  We cannot forget what we want.  We have to devise a system to bring our goal to remembrance especially in times of great discouragement or during circumstances that seem to threaten our progress to the winners’s circle.

Truth Number Three:

No matter what we have to construct a plan of action that has our beginning and our end goal in mind.  We have to drop our plan to paper and then commit ourselves to following the plan and trusting the process to reach the goal.

Truth Number Four:

As soon as the plan is in place you must immediately begin the journey.  Nothing gets in the way of executing the plan.  Each day is a battle to progress.  Each day, a document must be generated to record our progress.  Everything has to be brought to bear on the end game.  Nothing is left to chance.

Lastly, wisdom is earned by effort and experience.  Everything else is window dressing as we close in on the goal.  We must not be afraid of effort and we have to trust the process that we have put into place to win.  We have to look back and understand that we are changing into the winner that we never were before.  This is our time and nobody can take it from us.  We play to win.  We do not play to NOT to lose.  We only advance by being on the offensive and we dare not retreat.  Imagine winning!  Never lose that image——ever!

When we have finally attained our goal we are winners forever.  You and I will never go back to the beginning and settle for nothingness.  It’s absolutely vital that we embrace effort and expect to win.  Life is not to be lived vicariously through others.  This life is mine and I’ve come to take all the things they said I could never have.

I am a bodybuilder.  My coach, Justin’s Dees says, “You can say it all you want, but you have to do it.”  In other words, talk is cheap but actions define me.  This year I am going to out work and out perform all of my competitors always because I have to prove to my coach that I want to become a pro bodybuilder more than he does.

Stay tuned!  You have your challenge and I have mine.  Let me know how you are doing and best of all tell me what you have accomplished and how you did it.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

When we are young and we think we know everything, we conclude that the world is too big to conquer or even to face.  Our fear of taking on something this big can paralyze us or we can take it on and see what happens.  After awhile of surging forward into an uncharted world we start a serious process of introspection.  We ask, “Who am I?” And “Where am I headed?”  When we enter this phase we once again face the real possibility of being paralyzed with indecision or we can do some self discovery and continue moving forward.

Obviously, if you are reading this blog you had to have chosen to move forward.  We seek to find ourselves.  This advice was passed to each of us in the form of this simple quip, “we have to find ourselves.”  Well, it sounds good and it resonates with some truth but it lacks definitive action to make yourself and your circumstances different.  I submit that we need to be about the business of “Creating” ourselves everyday, all day, forever.

Creating yourself!

To create yourself means you have decided to follow your heart and to act on that which is most passionate.  Each moment of your life must be lived in such a way that your self creation is brought closer to being a reality.  There is no other way to live.  I don’t want to find myself again.  I want to follow the impulses of my heart that make me into that magnificent being that God intended me to be.  We must reach for the things that are seemingly too big to conquer when they stand in our way of becoming the creature that we were intended to be.

To create ourselves means we have to decide that what we have chosen to be is precisely what we want.  We need to decide that our goal is worth having and that it is worth working for and in some cases sacrificing for.  We must be so sure of our goal that literally nothing can get in the way of it’s attainment.

We have to begin where we stand.  In bodybuilding we must take a realistic and honest assessment of where we are.  If we are fat, it must be corrected.  If we are skinny we have to add mass.  But, we have to remember that it’s not where we started, it’s where we end up that counts.

Next, we have to put a plan into place that will set the course to our goal.  Tons of thought and maybe hours of constructing the plan will be undertaken.  Once the plan is in place we will then begin the task of creating ourselves to match the goals set.  It is hard and it requires epic effort at times.  There will be moments of total discouragement.  But, we have to go on.  There will be other things that will cause us to lose our way and want to return to the times before we started.  But, we have to go on.

Lastly, I found myself the moment I came into this world.  But, it took a very conscious effort to take what I am and to create from it the person and winner that I am.  Stay close to your self-creative genius and reach for that which makes you more magnificent than you could ever imagine.  Settle for nothing short of reaching your goals.  You and I will win because we are artisans that are shaping a creation to win.

Doug’s Back at Nationals in July 2015 outside hotel.

All of us have been held down by the opinions of others that are close to us.  A Few of the opinions are well meant and very sincere but ultimately they create a boundary for us.  Somebody in our life’s history has wanted the best for us and they went about the business of deciding for us what we were to do and how far we could go.  These wonderful friends and relatives unknowingly told us who we were and what we would become.  In our youthful ignorance we believed them and we established goals that others set for us.  We were pigeon-holed.

Sometimes there were those that sought our demise or wanted to severely restrict us in the pursuit of our dreams.  These people were usually jealous friends, colleagues or enemies.  Sometimes these people were/are our competitors.  This last group of people love to see us fail so they can gloat over us because we crashed and burned.

“Some Things They Said I Could Not Have”

I was born smaller than most of my contemporaries.  In school I was usually picked last or not at all when we played games.  I often felt that anything I possessed personally or physically would never be enough.  I certainly did not believe I could be successful.  I was told by example, experience and sometimes directly that I would not be good enough to play with the big boys.

At about age 11 my life changed dramatically due to baseball.  In my first season, I made the all-star team.  Baseball was the first thing that I was told I could not have.  Baseball became an intricate part of my life and I was uniquely successful in high school as a catcher and a reasonable hitter.  But, the secret to overcoming other peoples expectations is found in total commitment to being good enough.  There is a quote by one of my bodybuilding heroes, Flex Lewis.  He states, “The Trophy is won during the hours when nobody is watching.”  I took this idea to ridiculous lengths.  Quite literally, anything I wanted to be successful at I would invest hundreds or even thousands of hours in practicing or training on the desired skill.  I became a very boring fellow.  I did things like, running in the alley after dark.  Lifting weights in the gym after everybody had gone home.  Running the stadium steps in the dark.  There were a hundred other disciplines that I worked at to be ready.  I was primed to take “the things that I was told I could not have.”

As a bodybuilder, I’ve drawn on these old lessons to stay on track with my quest to win.  Each morning I hit the gym for 1.5 hours of training.  When I’m done I get my diet into place.  I take my supplements and I set aside time to do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio.  Nobody thought or encouraged me to make bodybuilding or anything a priority.  The only person who believed in me was my wife.  She is my stabilizing power and my greatest fan.  She has been there watching me move from one skill to the next, from one trophy to the next.  Christine knows my struggle and has lived it with me.  By contrast many in my own family did not believe I could win in this arena.  Most of my most influential family members thought/think that I should not be a bodybuilder. But, I am winning and I have set my sites on the Nationals to win my Pro Card this year.  This is a goal that many did not believe was in me.  Now, “I am coming to take everything they said I couldn’t have”.

Lastly and in closing.  Listen to your heart first. Decide that what you want is worth having.  Put together a plan to get it.  Then, execute your plan with all your heart and strength.  Listen to nobody who talks your idea or dream down.  Put in the work.  Remember, “Miracles Tend to Happen to Those Who Work Very Hard.”

Until next time I remain,

Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (Ret), MHSM

Doug’s Back at Nationals in July 2015 outside hotel.

Sir Winston Churchill said, “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm”

Wow! What causes us to move forward despite taking one major hit after another?  What picks us up when we have been knocked down?  Is there a power that undergirds us when we have failed?  Each of us has a level of tolerance that defines us and our willingness to keep going in the face of extreme  discouragement of even defeat.  This “level of tolerance” is learned over time.  We engage in life as enthusiastic participants giving our all to succeed and when failure occurs we make a mark in our minds that establishes how far we can go safely.  We are fencing in our own expectations for our lives.  This lesson of self regulation is subtle but real and it limits our ability to be enthusiastic and forward looking.

We will FAIL!

Fear of failure is paralyzing.  Many of us, me included, have been taught by people and our life experiences that any failure is a sign of absolute personal annihilation.  We take on life by playing “not to lose” rather than playing “to win.”  We are already beaten and we are just going through the motions of striving to be better as we await the predictable result—-FAILURE! Maybe, it is better to say that we have programmed ourselves accept the inevitable rather than even develop a “fear of failure.”  We are so convinced that failure is the only outcome that we do not try to win.  Bottom line here is that we WILL fail but that failure is not the bottom line nor is failure what we must accept as OUR reality.

Enthusiasm in the Face of Failure

The secret to avoiding debilitating failure after a setback is to have the “end game” firmly locked into place.  We have to know WHAT we want and HOW we are going to go about attaining the thing we want.  Developing a road map to success is the key to staying enthusiastic when we experience failure, after failure, after failure, after failure.  The road map is our guide.  It is our reassurance that we are on the right path.  The knowledge that we are making progress despite the seeming crushing defeats provides an amazing boost to our confidence along the way.

I have had to invoke the admonition of my Bodybuilding Coach, Justin Dees who, on more than one occasion that I must “Trust the Process.”  The points of discouragement for all of us who do bodybuilding are many.  Most of the time our sticking points have to do with making size gains in our physiques, dieting for a contest, conditioning to lose that unwanted fat to get ready for the stage, selecting the best music, and ultimately remaining enthusiastic as we prepare to be better or to compete.  When we find ourselves “under performing” we must remember to “to trust the process.”  The Process is the road map that keeps us going.  Knowing what we want and following the plan will keep us on the right path.

“Success is our ability to move from failure to failure without losing our enthusiasm.”——Sir Winston Churchill

This is what defines us.  This is an ability that is learned. There is no other attitude that will carry us when failure is the order of the day.

My best training partner, Christine and I together.

Front Lat Spread

Final Thought: Being our best is a choice and it is imperative that we accept failure, learn from it, keep our excitement paramount, and never lose track of where we are going,  Keep moving and love the journey!  It belongs only to you.

Until next time I remain:

Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

Let’s just say that there is no other way home.  You have to rise to the occasion or you can die in place.  Sounds simple enough but the truth of the matter is that most of us “settle” for an effort to accomplish things that is adequate or subpar and call it a day.  You see, we have all bought into the lie that that we have to work smarter and not harder.  After all, who cares what sort of energy we expend making things happen just so long as the desired result is assaulted.

Doug’s Back at Nationals in July 2015 outside hotel.

My Coach, Justin Dees emphasizes and has said it repeatedly, “In order to win you have to outwork all of your opponents.”  That means you have to be able to outwork them at everything.  Each component of the game has to be worked at and perfected with tons of extra  effort.  Weight training, cardio, supplementation, diet, posing etc. All areas have to be better than the previous contest and certainly better for the contest before you.  I would submit that each of us needs to come up with a rallying cry or slogan or quote that reminds us constantly that we are in a battle and that no prisoners can be taken. Outworking your competition is far more than a physical race to win.  It is an all out assault on the stage.  Our quest first must demand that we are in the best shape of our lives.  If we take care of business in all categories we will do well and will probably WIN!

“Most Muscular” on Stage 21 June 2014, Utah Valley University, Provo, Utah

Front Lat Spread

Let me discuss my approach.  First, I get up early around 5 am.  This early hour allows me to eat my first meal of the day and get my mind focused.  Next, I do 1-2 hours of cardio on an eliptical machine that is perched in my living room in front of the TV/Big Screen.  Then, I eat again.  Then, I get to the gym for weight training of the designated body part for that day.  Please note that I am eating right on schedule and nothing gets in my way when it’s meal time, even if I’m not all that hungry.  It’s important to eat right but also it’s important to eat frequently of small portions.

We have to get used to expecting to WIN.  Why get involved in all this if we don’t really want to win?  Also, we have to get rid of the subconscious mindset that allows  us to say all the right and positive things but in the back of your mind you are planning to sabotage.  We have to practice playing to WIN.

In closing, let it be known that nobody will beat you unless they outwork you.

Thus, victory is ours—-IF WE do much more than is required so that we bury our opposition.  We will own and defeat all others we compete against.  Leave it all in the gym!

Until next Time.

Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF (ret), MHSM

The Premise

When I was young there was a very popular book among Christians named “Tyranny of the Urgent.”  It also, found it’s way down the chain into a tract that was used to reach the unbelievers.  The premise here being that we put an awful amount of pressure on ourselves to “do it all.”  So much so that we miss the important things that God has for us to do and to experience.   I Would submit that just the opposite is true when you do bodybuilding.  The premise in this case being that if you do not get a sense of urgency to excel, that borders on personal tyranny, you will not be successful.   I Would also submit that this approach to winning is true about anything we want to accomplish in life.  There has to be a focus that pretty much marginalizes all other things or, at the very least relegates distracting activities to a lower tier of importance while seeking the goal that is underway.

The Personal Response

I preach this like the famous evangelist, Elmer Gantry.”  Before anything is undertaken there has to be some serious sifting of our goals, desires, and motives.  In essence, we must decide that the objective is worth having and worth suffering for to obtain.  Another way to say it, is “you have to count the cost and decide to pay it.”   I Would suggest that while contemplating the goal and it’s worth to you, that you sequester yourself to a location and environment that allows you to think, feel, write, and calculate the demands that are about to be placed on your shoulders.  Determine to not leave that place of personal meditation until you have either decided to go forward or to quit.  In either case, decide why you have arrived at your final decision.  Let that final decision burn itself into your mind and heart.  Assuming that you have decided to pursue your goal you should immediately stand up and get busy rearranging your life to accomplish that stated objective.

The Plan

Each detail of the journey that supports the accomplishment of the goal has to be brought into alignment with the stated objective.  This is the time where the “Plan” has to be reduced to writing and layed out before your mind visually.  Even though you dream big dreams about winning, it is here that the road map is developed.  In fact, this is the time when charts, diagrams, algorithms etc. come into play.  The easier you can see your path to the top, the easier it will be to follow.  Remember!  The “Plan” is yours and the clearer you can see where you are and where you want to go the better.  Each major item has to be placed into the timeline in it’s proper place.  Nothing trumps this step.  Do it correctly.  Do it completely.  Do it from the heart!

The Journey

Now, this is where your personal “Tyranny and Urgency” starts.  Get going!  Put the “Plan” into motion.  Wake up in the morning with an excitement that causes you to kick your bathroom door open to get out there and do the job.  In my case, I am motivated to eat my first meal. Then, do my first hour of cardio.  Get my bag and get to the gym for today’s workout.  Nothing gets in my way.  My day starts at 0500.  Like the old Army PSA, “We/I get more done by 0900 than anybody else does the rest of the day.”  Your personal urgency to win must become your personal tyranny.  It is self-imposed, self monitored, self motivated, and most of all YOURS! Nobody can do this journey for you!  Nobody can put one of your feet ahead of the other. All things related to your victory are put into place by you.  Speed, direction, amplitude, and of course the PLAN!

I am not going to bore you with the mechanics of attaining your goal.  But, this article is focused on lighting a fire under you to get you launched.  Tomorrow is a world away.  You never tell yourself that I can skip today’s workout or I can do this part of the workout later.  You must attack each day as if you do not have a minute to spare. Today is really tomorrow.  Get it done!

In closing please know that the “Tyranny of the Urgent” is the tool that will drive you forward.  There is no other mindset available to any of us that will satisfy this requirement. Get the “Urgency” that will push you, whip you, and demand much of you.  Its your call……Now! Go for it!

Scenario

A year has gone by with heavy and consistent training with an eye toward winning a National Championship in bodybuilding.  Every thought, every training session, every cardio session, all the right food, all the right supplements have gone into the preparation to become a champ.  You are ready and you are not intimidated by the other competitors.  Finally, you are a well-oiled-machine with a purpose and you just know that nothing will stop you…..THIS TIME!!

Contest

As always, the process unfolds as predicted and on schedule.  Dieting, supplements, cardio, spray tanning.  All of these are prepping items for your stage presentation.

They call your group and you line up to on stage in the order of the numbers that each competitor wears on the left side of their “Speedo.”  When the stage manager beckons for you to take your turn on stage, you move to his hand and he says something like, “ok, you’re on.”  You move to the designated spot on stage to begin your free posing routine.  You hit all the great poses that best present your body to the crowd and to the judges.  Then, shortly,  you are moved to center stage with your entire group to do the compulsory poses.  These are mandatory and there is a very strong element of precision to best present your physique.  When this is over you exit the stage to await the judges results.  Tension time is now here and it is very hard to keep a lid on your anxiety and anticipation regarding the judges score.

Results

This particular year my Coach, Justin Dees prepped me much more strictly to get me as lean as possible.  I followed the program and I came in lean, tight, very vascular, and a well defined musculature.  I was confident, unintimidated, and ready to do combat.  My posing during the last 3 months really sucked, so I had put in extra time to do it better.  This mission was accomplished and I think it showed well on stage.

But, when the call outs came in I was not part of the first 5 competitors.  My heart sank.  My mountain of sadness and regret became the focus.  The judges said that all competitors should come back for the evening show.  Those who did not place in the top 5 would get a chance to walk across the stage and do their favorite pose.  The top 5 would be allowed to do their music routines.  I thought about the proposal to walk across the stage to do a pose and I declined.  I figured there was no point in eating a second helping of “humble pie.”  My wife and I went to a restaurant and I had a hamburger and fries.  Yummy!  It served to help reduce my sulking, bitterness, and disappointment.  It was very hard to tell my Coach the results.  I had wanted so badly to win this year.  Instead, it’s now “back to the drawing board.”  The best I can do is to double down on my effort and try to understand my shortcomings and over come them.

Lessons Learned

First, one of my Instagram Followers who sees me as an inspiration told me to “get up and get back to work.”  He said, “use this defeat to motivate and focus yourself on getting better and showing them that you are for real and that they made a mistake.”  Bottom line: Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Back to work!

Secondly, I will never take anything for granted prior to a show again.  I did what my Coach wanted but it was not enough.  I have to be firing on all cylinders all the time, everywhere, until the contest is over.  Never let up!

Thirdly, Sulking never helps anybody, least of all me.  It leads to playing “the blame game.”  I.e. The reason for my less than optimal performance is somebody else’s fault. You lie to yourself in this way to spare your own ego and not accept any personal responsibility.

Fourthly, I need to spend some time regrouping and reviewing the results with Justin Dees, my Coach,  Note:  I was so disappointed in myself that I could not bear to tell Justin the results.  Real Dumb!  His counsel was, “Go get a Hamburger and some fries.” Thus, officially ending this year’s quest.

Closing Remarks/Wisdom

Disappointment must be used to motivate us to higher and more sustained effort.  The goal being to show yourself, your coach, and the judges that you are not a quitter, you’ll be back even better than today.  As my Instagram colleague said to me, “Get back in the gym!”  There are contests to be engaged and won.

Nothing is accomplished in life unless we are totally committed to staying with the program on the road to our stated goal(s). There is no substitute for tenaciously sticking to the path forward that we have established to reach the trophy that we have determined to be worth our very best effort.  Nothing is as satisfying as reacghing the goal that we decided was worth it, planning for it’s accomplishment, and put ourselves through all the steps to winning. The most important thing that will be required of us is “Consistency.”  It is the one quality that will make all other things come to life and propel us “Home” to victory.

Consistency, quite simply is: 1.)  Never missing workouts.  Training is vital to prepare  us to win.  Constant repetition of the items that are required to be the best we can be.  2.) Consistency also means that we are constantly engaged in thinking about all the steps toward the goal.  Essentially, we have to become “single-minded.”  Our whole being goes into the process. 3.)  We have to be willing to do the really hard work when nobody is watching and/or when there is little to no verbal feedback.  All things have to be tried, evaluated, adjusted, and reapplied without the benefit of another human being.  Walking alone is often the order of the day. 4.)  Finally, a solemn resolve to accept nothing short of victory.  Anything less than a solid “win” is unacceptable.

“Most Muscular” on Stage 21 June 2014, Utah Valley University, Provo, Utah

Back Double Bicep

Right Biceps Peak!

The basic component of all things that lead us forward is “Consistency.”  We have to be in the fight daily and on schedule.  A lack of Consistency defines us as uncommitted and thus we will probably lose.  But, Consistency teaches us what we don’t know and it helps solidify what we do know to win.  Consistency teaches us all things and develops in us a sound platform to push us forward across the finish line.

My parting shot here is that Consistency of our efforts lays down the basics for future advancement and the ultimate trophy.  Nothing else will do.  So, when we launch ourselves toward our stated goal, we must commit ourselves to a steady, sustained, energetic movement aimed at getting what we set out to accomplish.

My thoughts on “Consistency” are rudimentary but, nonetheless, necessary in order to win!

Until next time I remain,

Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, (ret), MHSM