Author: Doug Graham

Very few things in life deserve our unwavering trust. However, the process of getting better physically, if laid out correctly and you do it is nigh unto infallible. When you put your target on the far wall, aim, and fire there is a good chance you will hit it. The problem with most people and myself included, is that we think that if we give a little attention to something all will happen automatically. This is absolute nonsense of course! All of us muscle heads know that in order to get it done we have to first decide where we want to go, make a plan and then execute that plan. Never, do we take our eyes off the target. Sometimes even with a plan we give up or we wander with our attention or are distracted by bright shiny new things and ideas. The one thing we do is STICK TO THE PROGRAM AND TRUST IT….Somewhere along the way we learn that we cannot live without the process that continually gives us previously unimagined results. Once this happens, nothing else will ever do. We know what we have to do and we do it willingly because we love the process and we trust it…..

When you fall in love with somebody or something if we are smart we will kill to keep them. They belong to us and the results of our faithfulness to them (person or process) become manifest and will forever be part of us.

Heading for the stage for us muscle heads is a journey of faith and trust and persistence. Nothing can ever substitute for the exhilaration of realizing the results and the satisfaction of having made the journey. We follow the plan and and we will trust the process. Having done this a couple dozen times I can give testimony to the fact that ‘RESULTS WILL COME!” Three Steps: 1.) Plan the Process 2.) Trust the Process 3.). Execute the Plan and Process.

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This is an admonition that all of us can relate to. Our coaches, parents, grandparents, and close friends never want us to quit when the going gets tough. Our best friends, our spouses, and especially our parents want to be inspired by our toughness and our grit. Believe me when I say that they need our win even more than we do. Whenever life goes off the rails and we are crushed, side tracked, and totally discouraged is the time we have to: 1.) Think of personal survival 2.) Make a plan to return to safety 3.) Thank God for the strength to survive and go on. Lastly, just know that scads of people who know and love us are cheering us on. Our response to the bad thing will be taught to an entire generation. Soooo! This is the time we “DON’T GIVE US JUST BECAUSE THINGS GOT HARD.”

Some kid out there needs to know how to handle rough times with all the helpings of discouragement, pain, and sorrow that accompany the crummy stuff. A Little variation on a famous quote would look like this “IF YOU ENDURE THIS, THOSE WHO LOVE YOU WILL COME.” Now you have a twofer…..You win by not giving up and the people who are watching you also win because they are encouraged to push on through their own personal storms.

In bodybuilding all of us muscle heads have had contests where we, quite literally, got our egos and our pride thrown to the ground and walked on. These are BAD TIMES. We have to decide to hang up our “SPEEDOS” and quit or we disappear to a quiet place and think. We have to look in the mirror and recommit ourselves to “TRY AGAIN!” This is the ‘EVERY MAN’S STORY.” We go into life with a mission to fly fight and win and return home victorious. However, along the way we will be defeated and counted out. This is the place where we decide to ‘NEVER QUIT!” This is our time to rise and meet the forces that threaten our very existence. When we do, we automatically win. If we accept the ass kicking then we surrender and we lose. DON’T DO IT!

Lastly, there is a saying that I love, “THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I WANT TO QUIT….BUT! THEN I REMEMBER WHO IS WATCHING!!” We are not alone no matter how we feel.

Get up! Make your bed! Take a Shower! Fresh clothes please! Pray! Kick the door down to get out there and win….Feelings will just have to move to the end of the train……and behave themselves! Quitting is not on the table….Your wife will love you for being the Warrior you were meant to be!

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Oh, how I wish I could just snap my fingers and I would have that which I seek. It’s interesting that all of us from the time we were kids learned that nothing worth having comes to us without a major battle, or effort, or sacrifice. We are cut from the same piece of cloth —- all of us! We are human by origin and nature. We have been blessed to have the privilege of setting goals and then working our asses off to get there. “WORK FOR IT!” is a credo that has to be honored and adhered to. In our world there are no short cuts. So, we “WORK FOR IT.”

I recall the moment I committed to do my first bodybuilding show. Terrified and totally ignorant of the cost and the work it would entail. So, I took off thinking I would win and then move on to “WORLD DOMINATION.” Boy! That was short lived. However, I found out that if I pushed hard and never gave up I would be respectable. Thus, the night was rich with excitement and a personal sense of “a job well done.” All of us muscle heads can relate to this.

By contrast, for the sake of comparison and clarity, we all know people who, “talk a good game, but deliver nothing after the talking is done.” I’m hoping and praying that nobody I am associated with is this guy. I like guys who tell me they are going to bury me and then they go about the business of trying to bury me on stage. I welcome the good hearted competition and the fun. In Proverbs 27:17 it says, “As iron sharpeneth iron, so one man sharpeneth another.” Please understand: no one is alone. In order to make yourself better, there is a mutual benefit making others better through mentorship, follower-ship, and leading. As we “WORK FOR IT” we cause others to be better. We cause others to be inspired by our “WORKING FOR IT” and we lift other guys/girls out of the humdrum life of making a living, raising a family, and the daily grind of living.

Bottom Line: “WORK OR IT” and we will win ourselves and many others will be taught to win by simply “WORKING FOR IT.” Such is the cycle of life. 2 Tim 2:2 – 3 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. [3] Thou therefore endure hardness—-“WORK FOR IT!”

The old adage says, “You gotta play to win!” applies here. Too often we want something but we are unwilling to pursue it. The great desire of most men and many women is the be great at something. Always we seek to be great at something we have seen, experienced, or worked with but we never are able to see ourselves as part of that greatness. So, we just dismiss the urge or the dream and return to our humdrum lives without ever considering whether we could do it too.

In almost all things that we dream of championing we have to “START” somewhere. We have to spend the time alone deciding that we want it bad enough to go for it. Once we decide that this thing is “us to the core” the next thing to do is to “START.” Set a date, time, a place, and be in the possession of the essentials of the dream and an internal map about how we are going to get there. Just to get to the “STARTING LINE” is gutsy, frightening, and seemingly impossible. Our biggest fear is being seen as a failure in the eyes of close friends, relatives, and family members. We can only see these groups uttering the words, “I TOLD YOU SO!” OR “I KNEW YOU COULDN’T DO IT!” So we put off “STARTING” so as not to tip our hands to the naysayers.

But! Once we put our shoulder to the wheel and “START” nothing can stop us. Now!!! The road to greatness is open and we step onto it. It’s our imaginations at this point that are transformed. We no longer dream. We now “DO” all that is required to be stupendous and “GREAT!”

When “GREATNESS” is attained we will look back and see the road we traveled. It started small. The training was rudimentary but focused. Next, the training then begins to grow and expand and the things you are doing now will be overcome with sheer effort.

Hitting the stage and winning makes you “GREAT” before all men and especially your family. People will talk about you and they will seek you out to be your friend. The perks and marks of greatness are everywhere. But this one truth you know. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GREAT TO START…BUT….YOU HAVE TO START TO GREAT!” Today belongs to you because you had the audacity to “START!”

Addiction is always referred to in a negative light. However, there are some things in life that “REQUIRE” an ADDICTIVE ELEMENT or it won’t happen for you at all. As noted above, you have to be always about the business of making yourself into an improved version each and every day. This improved person is more attractive, more enlightened, physically fit and well groomed, smarter, more accomplished and just plain……Gooder than before!!

Actually, the focus it takes to be a better you is overwhelming for most of us. Again, being overwhelmed is usually what happens in the beginning as we decide which way to go. Believe me when I say, “It hurts to shift!”

In the world of bodybuilding when we select a contest there is a real “PAUSE” as we choose what and how to get there. Addiction, of the highest order takes over. We HAVE TO get better and in a hurry. We give all of our attention to things we normally let slide. Here are some of the ADDICTIONS: Ab work, weight training, cardio, supplements, diet, posing, music selection, training schedules, sleep etc. Nothing is left to chance. Oops! Almost forgot….When to start your prep or how far out from the show do you need to start. All this so you can be your best. The attention to detail can only be described as an “ADDICTION.” You gotta have it or all we go wrong. With it, you will be in the best shape of your life and the rest is history.

In the rest of our world we have to be always on the prowl for ways and means to be better today so tomorrow is better. If it’s academics…Study and Kill it….If it’s professional….Show up, do your job exceedingly well….Promotion awaits…..In your marriage, be always on the lookout for ways to enhance your relationships with your wife and kids…..Gifts and time always are winners.

Bottom Line: Addictions are not default positions. Addictions, are well planned personality traits that are aimed at causing us to soar. This is where the old adage is applied that says, “He who aims for nothing hits it every time.” Leave nothing to chance and integrate your best efforts daily in such a way that doing the process of Bettering yourself unfolds as an Addiction. Nobody loses if you select the correct direction and target for your addiction. You must choose between going along for the ride, or being addicted to win. Let’s get this one right.

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Pay up or decline the effort to win….It’s a simple concept…..If want something bad enough you will prepare accordingly and pay the requisite price to attain your desired end or to win…..If you are not willing to count the cost of victory and you don’t want to pay the rice to win then stop all effort and don’t kid yourself or others.

This is the dilemma that all of us must face when we want the win. In bodybuilding, we set our sights on the stage that is set before us and we pour all of our preparatory actions into the crucible to present ourselves worthy, strong, and prepared to win. Whatever the crucible requires of us to be our best gets our best effort. Whether it’s training, diet, supplements, cardio, posing and constant attention to details is put into play. Nothing is left to chance.

Many of us talk a good game but in our heart of hearts we do not want to give it our best effort. We want some sort of ego blast just for showing up. Sure, we look good but it is not our best and our eventual placement reveals our half ass prep.

Ask anybody who sets out to win. They start where they are. The organize their plan. They execute the plan flawlessly with an eye toward the grand prize on the stage. There just isn’t another way to think about the simple choice to pay the price or not. If you want to be the “last man standing” you have to prepare for it and act like it. Carry yourself like you have al.ready won. Push yourself like you are afraid of finishing last. The last time I competed I didn’t do such a great job and I got killed. Divisions I normally win were taken from me and I was humiliated. I looked good but not as good as was required. Winning takes all you have. You are betting on yourself so why waste the bet and the effort if you are not going to pay the price?

Bottom Line: Pay the price to win—-and win! Or, Go home and keep your half ass prep. Nobody remembers a loser.

This story begins each morning. We wake up, we put our feet on the cold floor and head for the bathroom. Each step is accompanied by a series of things hitting our brains that must be done. We have bought into the concept that we can only get better one day at a time. We have incorporated the urgency required to advance and the fear that we will waste a day and our PROGRESS will stall out. I personally, have my day planned and all I can think about is beginning the grind, plowing through the workout and assessing my PROGRESS. After training I retreat to my business, phone calls, emails, texxt messages and meetings to push the company forward. Each of these endeavors requires herculean discipline to meet the daily goals and the eventual mission accomplishment

On the flip side, there are days when doing all that is required is seemingly insurmountable if no absolutely impossible. Too little sleep. A lack of proper planning. Emotional baggage and internal strife. Physical soreness or a nagging injury. A recent setback in training or business. All of these can render us ineffective and damaged so that no PROGRESS is realized. It is here that men are made. A quote I got this week says, “All of us reaches a point where we either go forward or we quit. We have to accept the reality that if we quite we will never finish or get what we are after.”—My advice to all of us is, “STAY THIRSTY MY FRIEND!” Let the harsh decisions we face motivate us to press on when it seems easier to just quit. One more little proverbial saying that I used with me and my sons who did tons of Judo, “VICTORY BELONGS TO HIM WHO GETS UP—-ONE MORE TIME!”

BOTTOM LINE: Get up! Make your bed. Plan your day and do the things daily that gets you closer to the thing you want more than anything else. PROGRESS only happens when you consistently daily do the little things to make it so….SO GO MAKE IT SO—-TODAY!

BUT IN CHOOSING YOU MUST NEVER STOP. LIFE IS SOOOO DAILY! DO NOT NEGLECT THE THINGS THAT ARE A MUST TO SUCCEED. QUITTING GUARANTEES YOUR FAILURE….SO DON’T QUIT!

This is it! “FIND OR CREATE”-— but we will never fabricate an excuse not to go forward…..This little quip is the backbone, or the essence of determination. We know the way. We know the difficulties. We know the tools required to make the trek. We know the pitfalls we will face along the way. Despite all this the journey to the winner’s circle is loaded with things that will discourage us all the way to our core. Nothing is easy but if we are going to win we have to be willing to go over, go under, go around, or through barriers. It’s a mindset that must be in place before we start or developed as we go. If we are stopped by these seemingly monolithic obstructions and we determine that they are non-negotiable, we have to do something else. Quitting is not an option.

The next thing we turn to is innovation or creativity. In other words we go about the business of “creating a way” where no way forward is available. We abandon everything we have tried and think deeply and come up with a totally different approach. Here’s an example from the world of bodybuilding and training. Let’s suppose our show is 12 weeks away. We suddenly injure a tendon in your right elbow. Sure, it requires rest but your schedule just doesn’t allow for time lost and effort to be lessened. Instead of letting the injury become an excuse to bow out, you think hard and long about which muscle groups are being affected by certain movements. We try different exercises aimed at the muscle group carefully monitoring the pain each causes. As we go we discover that simple triceps push downs with a rope allows for maximal contraction of the triceps with minimal pain. All other movements caused way too much pain, but this one works. Case in point! Sometimes you cannot blast through a problem with sheer will power. You have to plug in your brain, come up with a new way of doing things to get the same results. Of course when the contest is over, go see a doctor if the pain persists. Sometimes you just have to play hurt.

Lastly, the old adage that says, “you can have an excuse or you can get results, but you cannot have both”.……You have to decide that it’s worth it and then you have to sometimes devise a brand new way to accomplish the desired end. If quitting is not an option. Attack the problem. If and when you fail, come up with something new.

Bottom Line: All of us have got to see a problem that threatens our stated goal. Only options, as noted above are to: 1.) Find a way or 2.) Create a way—–Excuses are for failures……Don’t be a failure.

It seems like we have spent our lives trying to impress somebody. That somebody has been the reason we think we have to prove something to. Here’s a little secret from me, “THE OLD GUY.” The person who haunts you and makes you nuts to defeat or to impress doesn’t really care anyway. He is an nothing but a self generated “HOLOGRAM” that is constantly before us to humiliate us and make us feel inferior or a failure. Now, operationalize my secret by dismissing the “HOLOGRAM” and turn your attention inward. Imagine what you want. Imagine what you want to look like. Savor your own win with no guilt or fear of shame from some external force.

The greatest insight we bodybuilders must get is to know that nobody cares more about us/you than ourselves. In the end, we set the goals, we lay out the plan, we suffer the pain and inconvenience required to win. Imagine, if you will, a large stage and an arena with 5,000 screaming fans and you up on stage given it all you got. Imagine the exhilaration of competing against some of the best athletes in your division that day. Imagine the trophy, the medal, the applause. Finally, imagine grabbing your wife when it’s over, giving her a great big kiss and asking—-“WHERE ARE WE GOING TO EAT TONIGHT SWEETHEART?”

Nobody cares about you except you. Never forget that little secret. We march to our own drummer for all the best reasons. Life is like that no matter what we set out to do but for us muscle heads it is a quest to keep our heads down and our work on track. Do not look around the room….The others in that gym have their own demons to deal with. Their goals belong to them. Let them be. As the great Branch Warren once said, “JUST LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN SHIT.”

Bottom Line: Torture and pain is good when judiciously applied to ones self to gain or win that which has been chosen to accomplish. Our effort is ours and cannot be driven by a demon of our own making. We win because we have chosen to win, not because we are trying to measure up to a “bogey man.”

This is our time…..Let’s not waste it….Go Suffer and win—-alone!

All of us, at one time or another, has gained some undeserved fame by association. That is we talked to a celebrity, a person of stature in the community, a war hero, or spectacular commentator, a sports luminary. or the winner of some event. By aligning ourselves with these champions we too derive a sort of osmotic bit of their aura and notoriety. We may tell somebody after shaking hands with a great person, “I’m never going to wash my hand again.”

No matter what you or I choose to do that requires a significant amount of commitment and work, the “boo birds” and “naysayers” or the “jealous ones” will begin to gather and circle your predicted demise. They long to see your defeated carcass to be on public display so they can crow loudly for all to hear, “I TOLD YOU SO! or “I TRIED TO TELL HIM BUT HE WOULDN’T LISTEN.” It’s as if they have to have you defeated so they will be seen as wise and all knowing and somehow virtuous.

Then, if we press on in the face of abandonment by friends, relatives, associates, and of course known enemies we set the stage to correct the narrative. My advice is to be sure of what you want, especially in bodybuilding, plan carefully, ignore the opposition, and work as hard as humanly possible. This mindset and your effort cannot be taken away from you.

But, there is nothing like standing on stage and having the judges hang the first place medal around your neck and handing you the greatest trophy you have ever seen. Suddenly, in a nano-second you are catapulted to the head of the class. Suddenly, you are somebody of great repute. Tons of media and congratulations are sent your way. Handshakes, back slaps, Atta Boys, and looks of admiration belong to you. Mission accomplished and a job well done.

Now! Remember all those people who doubted you and discouraged you. In the near future, as you gather your “spoils of war” these people will be telling many a listening soul how they know you and when they became your best friend or your best fan. This! is the moment when all is right with the world. We don’t brag nor do we apologize. Be gracious! Thank the naysayers.

NOW! GET YOUR BUTT BACK TO WORK! THE STAGE AWAITS YOUR RETURN….WIN, LOSE OR DRAW! SET ALL THINGS RIGHT AGAIN AND AGAIN.