Author: Doug Graham

go to http://www.sixpackandsenior.com for all photos, and posts.

When I was a kid I would awaken, lie in bed and imagine all the cool things I was going to do that day. We were poor and my only clothes during the summer time were cut offs, low cut tennis shoes and some T-shirt. When I zeroed on my plans for the day I’d pull these clothes on and head for the kitchen with zip, energy, and excitement. I would be so pumped with my plans I’d sometimes eat very little food on my way out. Focus and motivation came easy in these days. Life was measured in the moment.

As life got bigger and I grew up I found myself learning that in order to have anything of value you had to do far more than wish for it. No amount of talking could bring my dreams any closer. I had to ACT! I had to convert my thoughts, dreams, talk, into a very focused action plan if I wanted them to materialize. Sometimes in my exuberance and youthful over confidence I’d talk about what I wanted to accomplish and sometimes I would be ridiculed, made fun of, and told what I was talking about was for anybody but me. The pain of having supposed friends tell you that they didn’t believe in you was over the top and I cried myself to sleep many nights as I battled inside myself to believe I could do whatever I set out to do. I had to stifle the ugliness that others extended to you.

I discovered that in order to get the respect I needed from my friends, I had to stop talking and do something that got me closer to my goal. I had to ignore them and as Branch Warren says, “look after your own shit!” They don’t determine my goals, my feelings, my effort to win. I do!….I had to show them what effort looks like and I eventually, had to show them that I was a somebody. The finish line is mine but getting there involves dragging many naysayers across with you with Herculean effort and self mastery.

I started Bodybuilding after a very successful medical, and Air Force Career. I had gone through a divorce that nearly killed me. I was a broken man with no place to go. I bought a gym membership at a local Golds Gym. I trained twice per day X 6 days per week for 3 years. I usually wore three layers of clothes, i.e. strap shirt, T-shirt, Tight short pants, gym shorts, sweat pants and a sweat shirt with a ball cap with my head set. I soaked these clothes every workout. Then one day I had to take off my shirt for something and a local guy said I should try bodybuilding…..My response was swift….No way was I going to get up in from of 3,000 people in a speedo at my age. I talked to my wife and she said I should give it a try. I did! I won 3 trophies the first time out. No coach. I was hooked. I started my bodybuilding career at age 63 and have donee 21 shows and have won about half the time.

At 63 I heard some very discouraging comments about being too old. I pushed on and the rest is history. I was out to prove that I could do it. I determined that this was my journey and if I chose this then I would be the best I could be. Go to http://www.sixpackandsenior.com to see all my photos, posts, and articles.

Bottom Line: Be quiet! Get to work! Got show these people who doubt you or criticize you that you are for real. Nobody can steal or take away your effort….Only you can surrender it by listening to others who wish they were you….

You can look good at any age, but you got to want it…..Your mission to prove you are worthy begins NOW! My best to all of you…..

When you make up your mind to do something there are a number of things to consider. The first thing is to decide that you really want to do this thing or that you really want this thing. Take your time! Think and emotionalize. Let the thing you want permeate every electron of your being until it’s all you think about. Then, make a plan to get it. Work through every detail that is required to propel you forward. Try to anticipate each item that can/will derail you enroute. Then, get started. Don’t look around and worry what others think of you. They have their world and their reward already. This decision and this journey is yours. Nobody else can travel this road. Do not take your eyes off the prize as you move along the chosen trail. Memorize it. Make it your destination.

To cut to the chase for me. I have a journey to the stage waiting for me this summer. I have plenty of muscle. My posing is always being refined. But, my biggest hurdle is “getting lean!” I have to plan everything down to the micron to get it right. I’m not fat but getting the final stage ready look is monstrously difficult. I was sooo distraught about whether I could get it done this time that I reached out to a beautiful bodybuilder that won in Portugal. She was magnificently striated at all levels. I just had to ask, so I did, “How do you get so lean?” She laughed and then said, “Getting lean has a plan but more than the plan is the developing of a “MINDSET.” Ouch! I instantly realized that fear of failure was infecting my effort and most of all my “MINDSET.”

In this moment I got the epiphany that no matter what you want or do, it will never happen if I didn’t focus and if I didn’t walk a little taller, a little quicker, a little more confidently knowing that this is what’s required. I had to see myself going about the business of winning with a “MINDSET” that sees nothing but the end game. Getting lean is just part of the journey. Now, I don’t worry, I go to work and matter of factly do it. Worry kills everything. Only putting effort and a sense of destiny into play will see you through.

Just a little story: When I was a kid playing sports I learned very early that the moment you decided you were the MONSTER and nobody gets by you without severe damage is when the end is clear. It starts deep inside and grows to a crescendo and this attitude is what you brought to the field, the mat, or the court. You have to have the “MINDSET” that there is no way you’re going to lose. You play to win and it has to imbed itself in all that you are.

Bottom Line: Nothing is won or accomplished without the proper ‘MINDSET”—Do not ever enter into a challenge with an attitude of “Playing no to lose!” Make up your mind. Get after it. Retire the challenge in your favor. There’s an old saying I got from Willie Nelson, “Build a secure house in the woods and the world will beat a path to your door.” It all starts at home. Fix your “MINDSET” to be a winner

Each of us have had, or even still have heroes! We have their personalities and their faces and their deeds etched on our minds. We take them to bed with us, we wake up to them and we pattern or very existence after them. These heroes have defined us and have placed our feet on the path we have traveled since the day they took their rightful place inside us. Hero worship is alive and well inside all of us. This hero that guides us has set in place and put into motion what I and you wanted to be. Somewhere along the way we forgot just how great that hero was and how that hero pushed us to be better than we were.

Now, we must face the reality that we have to become our own heroes. We have to step into the silhouette that we have painted and become that person that we always wanted to be. We cannot surrender to the temptation of turning away from who we are now and what we want to be. It’s not in our blood to ignore that greatness we can have.

Let’s begin in the gym. We all “talk a good game” and most of it is nothing more than wishful thinking or self deception. But, as they say, you can have excuses or you can have results but you can’t have both. DECIDE! You want more and you are willing to pay the price to get it. Set your sights on what YOU want again. Dig deep and imagine it. develop a big stockpile of “WANT to” and get going. Example for us muscleheads. We can see ourselves on stage, giving it our all, and picking up our trophy and raising it above our heads and heading down the stairs…..Nothing can stop us now!!! So, let me propose a gigantic memory jogger for all of us who have forgotten who we wanted to be. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF! GET YOUR ASSES OFF THE COUCH! MAKE A PLAN! GET AFTER IT! NEVER LOOK BACK! —-AND WIN!

Being what you wanted to be is the only thing that matters. Prove me wrong and change my mind!

Bottom Line: I have no further advice except, “REMEMBER!”—Nobody can do it for you but too many people depend on us to “REMEMBER” so they can live next to the champion we once imagined ourselves to be.

I’m writing this more for me than anybody else. I don’t know if I’m depressed or whether I’ve just lost my way. I’ve got tons of energy but I can’t decide what my next set of goals are going to be. I’m a maniac when it come to beating down all opposition to get to the “NEXT” thing to be conquered. Has anybody else found themselves to be indecisive and in the process you flounder? Maybe I’m a unique monster that only goes creazy when things are not clear and I’m totally committed to winning….Enough pontificating!!

When we set out to “win” we will start fast and fade for various reasons. Why? I don’t care. Each of us has got to understand that what we want i hard to get and it’s hard to work for. Sometimes we just cannot see the “WHY” even though we already decided that a long time ago. We have to determine that what we are seeking is not only hard but it is absolutely “WORTH IT!” We must be able to see that what we seek, especially in bodybuilding, will give us the satisfaction we want. We have to translate what we want into something palpable and tangible. Nothing can satisfy us unless we can make it “WORTH IT!”

Here is one example. If we train and if we diet and if we do cardio we will definitely see our bodies change and we will definitely enjoy buying new clothes that make us look and feel great. Also, chances are that our overall health will improve. Thus, our very hard effort is automatically, “WORTH IT!”

Another example is when we win. On stage or personally. We win. Nobody can take our victory away. We did it! Basically, hard work always yields good results so always know that the benefit we gleen is part of the overall knowledge that it is all “WORTH IT!”

Bottom Line: Stop looking for a reason to quit. Decide why you want towin. Stop bitching and know that all your hard work and effort will be “WORTH IT!”

I don’t care what you are challenging yourself to do! That is between you and God and your spouse. The thing we are focusing on here is the “FORK IN THE ROAD.” When we set out to accomplish something of real significance, all of us will reach this “FORK” that must be faced and we will have to decide whether we quit or whether we continue. As noted earlier, either choice is going to cause a significant degree of pain. Quitting is like surrender. We find ourselves surrounded by tons of reasons “to toss in the towel.” A review of a few random reasons we may use to quit might be: 1.) Disinterest, we have lost our way and we have given up and want to do something else. 2.) Injury. 3.) Discouragement, We haven’t won yet, or people have identified us as “too big for our britches—they have piled on.” 4.) We are flat out of money and it prohibits us from considering more. 5.) Fear of further failure or ultimate failure. These are just a few of the reasons we cause us to quit. Last thought on quitting is: We will live for the rest of our lives with a sense of loss, a sense of regret, a sense of self-betrayal, guilt, and shame. Before you quite, review of think about how you will handle all these very real emotions.

Conversely, the pain of continuing has to be faced squarely as well. Some thoughts on pressing forward: A total “redo” of your goals and objectives aimed at achieving your goals. An increased or modified training regimen. No matter what we think or say, “IT HURTS TO SHIFT.” What we were doing was not working and we have to make a change. Whatever the reason to change and to never quit—it must be done! In my opinion you NEVER put quitting on the table. You will suffer the pain of regret and you will never experience the exhilaration of victory……So keep going! It’s a very acceptable and tolerable OUCH!

Bottom Line: QUIT AND SUFFER THE PAIN OF REGRET OR CONTINUE AND TASTE THE SWEET SAVORY VICTORY DINNER—-OF YOUR CHOICE OF COURSE!

I’m a sprinter. I’ll give you all I’ve got over a short distance (50-100 Yards) but beyond this I have no guarantees. I love pounding my way through a workout with one exercise quickly followed by another exercise. My basici formula for training is 1.5 hours per day six days per week. I don’t watch the clock except to provide some measure of my time spent. All my workouts seem to fit into this box. I really do not like spending tons of time in the gym just so I can say I spent 2-3 hours working out. I’m not impressed with time spent if it’s not efficient. Thus, I’m a sprinter…..Get in….Get it done…..Get out! Besides, my wife is waiting and she is probably already finished with her training.

During these “slam bam thank you Sam” workouts I push my body hard. It hurts! There’s no such thing as a “sweet burn” as some would put it. For me it’s closing my eyes and feeling it all. It’s automatic and my effort goes up when I increase the reps or I increase the weight. I try to make each workout a little harder and change it only when it’s obvious that another approach is required. I have to continually tweek my mind to release my muscles to do the hard stuff. If my mind had it’s way I would never train, I would never increase the weight, I would stop when it was uncomfortable. But, here is the secret! You have to ignore your pussy mind and let your muscles do the talking and the walking. Trust me when Isay, there is no other way to get big and strong. The great Branch Warren has said, “If you want big muscles you life big weights, if you want little muscles you lift little weights!” The logic is impecable. But, I would add that increasing reps alongside the bigger weights will enhance all that you do and the results will be great.

But! the bottom Line is that we must gain “self mastery.” Meaning our muscles do not have minds of their own. We have to train our own minds to demand excellence but it starts with the basic concept of “self mastery.” You are in charge….Not your muscles! I make the plans and I push for the response to the plans….and eventually with a coaches guidance to get the best possible final result.

Bottom Line: Make the demands. Expect the response! Get the results!—There is no substitute and it’s all in your own hands

This sentiment or emotion or crazy conclusion has been gnawing at me for about the last month or so. I have to raise money to compete, to eat, to pay for supplements, to pay for a coach, to travel, lodging, entry fees, tanning, and specialty training related to posing. The necessity is enough to cause most, if not all of us to slow down, stop, or quit. Nothing is possible without resources (money)….so you must take the time to put the fuel into place or you are going nowhere. I hate having to put money as my number one priority but that’s the name of the game for me now. I feel like nothing is going well and I can’t focus on the shows that are ahead of me. So, in order to get from here to there I have to stay the course which includes little things like depression, discouragement, anger, sleeplessness, and an overwhelming sense of having to climb with no strength.

Let’s pull this apart a little bit. In the book by Victor Frankel entitled, “The Meaning of Life” he reflects on his experiences in a Nazi Concentration Camp. Before the camp he was a Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Berlin. In the camp he, as was everybody, reduced to animal-like existence. Nobody believed they would survive this ordeal and every exposure to life was a depressing, discouraging, painful, living hell. He observed that each man had a belief system that sustained them day by day despite starvation, lice, disease, and the incessant beating from the guards each morning and evening. Some believed that there entire family was waiting for them. Some believed that they were going to be liberated on such and such a date and all they had to do was survive to the day of liberation. In summary, we like these poor fellows in the concentration camps must cling to a belief that only we know about to get to the final objective. Sometimes, we have to be able to “imagine” the “win” even the moment indicates that we will be lucky to get to tomorrow.

Believe in what you want. Believe that the journey you are on is necessary to get what you want. Determine to want to “win” so strongly that nobody can take your dream away, not even circumstances will deter you from continuing despite no immediate evidence to validate your effort. Spend time focusing on not only the win but the why that establishes your effort. Why do you put yourself through all this? Dammit! DECIDE and then stick to it. Don’t look around. Just KNOW that what you are doing is yours and is worth it.

Bottom Line: When there seems to be no hope…..create that hope you need. Be disciplined when all seems lost. Be diligent and give nothing away to discouragement. You have to survive so that you can tell others how it’s done. The Best to all of us especially when the road seems too hard.

I tell my wife all the time that I don’t want to be a phony. Oh sure, I can be a failure and I totally expect I will have my set backs. However, pretending to be what everybody around me wants me to be is a bit much. I can’t even lie good. My wife sees through my every effort to mislead her….even when I’m trying to hide a Birthday gift or another sort of surprise. She sniffs it out before I can execute. This is another example of being a miserable failure. It’s interesting that as we observe our groups of friends and associates we seem to find our place and we behave accordingly. But, in my world I have trouble staying in my expected lane. I love to banter. I love to utter stupid quips that may land me in the “penalty box.” I fall into this routine when I can’t take conformity/normalcy anymore.

Now, how does this apply to bodybuilding?!! Actually, it fits nicely. Try to imagine that you have wanted something as a bodybuilder but many if not all your colleagues have established in their minds just how successful you should be. Without even being direct, you begin to feel the “GLASS CEILING” rolling into place over you. It says, “you are good at bodybuilding but you cannot go beyond” the “GLASS CEILING” that we have so carefully put into place so you will know where your success must end. Afterall, we who are “NORMAL” have decreed that you will not exceed us who will not work this hard to win, and who also cannot tolerate a super winner in our midst. Our decree which is marked by the “GLASS CEILING” is immutable and unmoving as it relates to you.

This is something we all face. When we perceive that we are being defined by others who are “NORMAL” it is here that we return home. We return to the person that we are. We fall in love with ourselves and we push on to greatness as defined by us alone. the “GLASS CEILING” is broken and ‘NORMALCY” is left in our rear view mirrors.

I always want to be on the cutting edge that I alone establish. Let the judges tell me otherwise and nobody else. I admonish all of us muscle heads to “SET OUR FACES LIKE FLINT TOWARD THE STAGE” and never look back. Failing is my business but pretending to be something else and being pressed into other peoples conformity is a personal “SIN!” As it says in the Bible, “avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.”

Bottom Line: We have the privilege of deciding who we are and how far we are willing to go based on goals and effort. Go win! the “GLASS CEILING” that is set in place by others is irrelevant.

It has been my conclusion that I’ve arrived at over the last five years or so that there is not a lack of intellect in the world, there is no lack of great ideas to serve and benefit humanity, nor is there a lack of funds to do what we need to do. The world is rich and the resources need to be tapped to release human ingenuity to enhance our ability to produce and provide enough.

When it comes to bodybuilding there is no shortage of opinions, ideas, plans, food, training regimens, etc. The problem that I see in the world and especially in bodybuilding is a total lack of the most basic of qualities. That being backbone, persistence, commitment, personal will power to go the distance. Hell, we all want things and we are often willing to pay for it. But, the commodity that is most often missing is the willingness to fight for what we want. We quit because it’s hard or we experience set backs due to money, family tragedies, or injury. We hit a bump in the road that was not anticipated and we step off the playing field and leave, never looking back. We self eliminate without a whimper. We do this because we forget that we are ‘WARRIORS” and a ‘WARRIOR” simply gets rid of the weapon that is no longer useful and “THE WARRIOR” picks up a new weapon that he selects to attack. I remember listening to some Navy Seals talking. A person from outside the circle of Navy Seals asked them loudly and a bit sarcastically, “what would you Seals do if you found yourself surrounded. A very large intimidating Seal replied, “CHAARRGGEE!! The outside commentator fell speechless. He suddenly realized that in order to win all of us needs to know when to attack and stop analyzing. First, you assess. Then you react with a vengeance that has prepared you for this difficult moment.

Stonewall Jackson famously said, “ONE MAN WITH COURAGE MAKES A MAJORITY!” The whole idea of being a ‘WARRIOR” is that when the time comes, we grab our tools, our weapons and we fight. In bodybuilding we are all “WARRIORS” and backing down is never an option. We started this fight and we will finish it.

Bottom Line: We never play NOT TO LOSE we always play to win. We have the guts now we have to engage. There can be no victory if we do not pick up our swords and shields and fight for what we want. See you “WARRIORS” on stage.