Author: Doug Graham

In the gym during training there is/are moments when your body is telling you that you have exceeded it’s ability to go any further.  It cries out for you to give it a break and to stop.  The pain and fatigue are so great that there seems to be no way forward, to keep pushing, to accept another second of the exhaustion that you have created.  Accompanying this state sometimes is the sensation that I am about to faint, I’m lightheaded, things stop feeling real.  It’s here that I sit down and take a break to recover.  It’s very tempting to just say to yourself, “this is too hard and I want to quit.”

However, this is the time that your mind or your will has to take over.  It reminds me that the reason I am doing what I am doing is because I wanted to be something special.  I wanted to be a champion and the only way to becoming a winner is to go through this pain and this seeming misery to get there.  It’s here that we find out what lives inside us.

There are days when motivating myself to get to the gym is too much.  I lay in bed fighting the temptation to fall back to sleep.  I fight the urge to wake up my wife and have a conversation that will distract me long enough to come up with an excuse not to rise and get at it.  Again, this is where my mind must take over and remind me of what it takes to be a winner.  I chose this path and I had best be about the business of winning.

My favorite quote on this issue is, “the trophy is won in the hours when nobody is watching.”  Flex Lewis….I am a solo warrior.  I train alone because I am the only person I trust with my training and my winning.  I depend on nobody else with the exception of my wife Christine and my Coach, Justin Dees.  These are the only people who have access to my dreams and my effort to win.  These two people mean the world to me as I push to win.

In closing, remember that there will come a time when deciding to continue or quit is on the table for consideration.  This is the time when allowing your mind and heart to do the driving.  Your body has checked out, but it’s the mind and the heart that will carry you to the next level.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

We all grow up with some encouragement and some discouragement but nonetheless — WE GROW UP!  In the course of learning what life is all about we gather a number of negative proverbs or anecdotes from our parents, friends, coaches, teachers, colleagues, and others whom we respect.  These little pearls of discouragements all too often are allowed to define us and to cause us to settle at a level of living that is far below what we are capable of.  A good example would be, “If I were you I would do something else because you are just not cut out to do that.”  Another one would be, “You’re just too small to do that.”  Or, “You just don’t have the basic tools needed to be successful at that.”  I would find something else that better suits you.”

Wow!  We have all heard these exact things from some of our most respected and revered people in our lives.  Sometimes that negative thing said to us has no immediate impact but as time goes by these little things get integrated into the person that we become.  We stop reaching for the stars or the things that we are truly cut out to do.

My story revolves around bodybuilding.  Members of my family knew I was intensely interested in bodybuilding and that I desperately wanted to learn how to compete and win.  I was willing to go through the trials and the work required.  I finally entered a contest in Arkansas where I finished fourth in my division.  From that night on I was forbidden to think about competing in bodybuilding again.  It was embarrassing and I didn’t do that well anyway.  This being a major disappointment for me was an understatement.  I tried for years to get back on stage and was met with scorn and discouragement.  Eventually, I gave up trying.

Then, after my kids were all grown and I found myself with time on my hands I decided to start lifting weights again.  After 3 years, 6 days per week of training I finally took off my shirt.  My buddies in the gym saw me and told me I should compete.  The rest is history and now bodybuilding is a quest for excellence.  I have one of the best coaches in the world in Justin Dees and I have one of the greatest examples of consistency and discipline in his wife Heather Dees who just took home a third place finish at the 2018 Arnold’s Classic in Columbus, Ohio.  I now am about to do what so many people in my past have said I could not do.  I’m going to win the Nationals this year and gain my pro card.

Do8g at Vasa Posing

I must remind you that all this is going to occur when most men my age have “packed it in” and have totally retired and have gone into sedentary mode before death.  I have to win so I can “Be Somebody Nobody Thought I Could Be.”  There is no turning back and I’m all in.  I said something nice about Heather yesterday on Instagram exclaiming how she motivates me to be better.  Justin came back with this, “Ahhh Yeahh!! Now, it’s your turn my friend!!!”  This is my time and I am under construction!  Thanks Justin and Heather!

In closing.   My story is anecdotal but it applies to all of us.  Decide what you want and become that person!  “Be Somebody Nobody Thought You Could Be.”

See you guys again real soon.  Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

Introduction

Sooner of Later all of us must decide to accept life for what it is and settle for whatever is dealt to us or we can take hold of that which makes us who we are and that defines us.  Settling for the day to day humdrum of job, home, kids, paying bills, and dying is what most people get from life.  It’s not because the “settler” in life are not good people or that they do not have what it takes to be better.  Sometimes life has a way of hemming us in and restricting us from doing the thing we are called to do.  In my opinion and having been here I can say that this is normal and we must tow the line for the good of the family.  However, even during these times when getting by is the order of the day, we cannot lose sight of who we are and what we are supposed to become.  It is imperative to believe that we are in this life for a much higher purpose than ourselves.  We were not meant to be squatters in this infinite, seething universe.  We are here to rule and reign with the talents and gifts that we possess.  Believing in ourselves keeps hope alive.  We must keep our eye on the horizon.

Let’s start today to begin thinking and contemplating about the reason we are here on planet earth.  No matter how discouraged you are we must focus on the thing that makes us tick or that “SETS OUR SOUL OF FIRE.”  First, what is it that sets our souls on fire?  Envision it. Reach out in your mind and touch it, taste it. Set it before your minds eye continually.  Never forget it because this is the essence of your existence.

In my life I have decided that bodybuilding (as one of the things that sets my soul on fire) is front and center.  It has taken courage on my part to start down a path that usually much younger men travel.  I’ve had to overcome the stigma of being older and go out and be my best.  The mere thought of standing on stage as a champion stokes the flames of my heart to heights that are unimaginable.  Bodybuilding “SETS MY SOUL ON FIRE!”  I I have to see this pursuit through to its end.  Nothing stands in my way except me and I won’t let that happen because this cause defines me and keeps me moving onward and upward. My days and nights are filled with thoughts of winning.  I can think of nothing else.  This year, 2018 is filled with competitions and possibilities. My Coach, Justin Dees believes in me and thus I believe in me.  It is time to perform and I’m getting ready to win.  My “SOUL IS ON FIRE!”

In closing I want to reemphasize the importance for all of us to:

1.) Decide what “SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE”

2.) Get busy and make that thing the defining feature of our lives

3.) Never let that thing disappear from our minds

4.) Go WIN!

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

One of the truest Statements I have come across recently.  I spend a significant amount of time searching internet sites and reviewing articles for quotes and wisdom that pushes me forward.  When I find something that resonates with me, that pushes me to do better, to be greater, I share it with you my readers.

This thought, “You Have to Hate Losing More than You Love Winning” uses the negative approach to turning our lives and journeys into a positive experience.  Usually, we are admonished to think about positive things that motivate us to do better, to reach higher.  However, this truth starts at the bottom where we must “Hate Losing” so strongly that it becomes “THE” impetus that causes us to prepare and perform at a higher level.  We all have experienced losing or at least not doing as well as we should have.  There is nothing that is more disappointing than NOT hearing your name called to go back on stage for a better look or to do the pose down. The pain in your stomach is acute and you can feel your very soul drain into your feet.  Nothing feels good at that moment. Life seems to have left us behind and we feel “left out.”  You direct your thoughts toward god and you implore him to make you invisible.

Thus, these things are to be avoided at all cost.  Also, thus is born a brand new motive to propel us forward.  We should say this out loud over and over again, “I HATE TO LOSE!”  “I HATE TO LOSE!” “I HATE TO LOSE!” “I HATE TO LOSE!”

When I go on stage I have three goals in mind:

1.)  I want to be in the best shape of my life

2.) I don’t want to embarrass myself

3.) I want to win or at the very least I want to move up in my finishing slot from last time.  If I do either one of these things I consider my outing to be successful

There is nobody who hates losing more than me.  I think I can prove that.  I push myself with the thought that my competitors are preparing just as hard as I am so I need to push myself harder and harder each time I train.  I am more disciplined regarding my diet and cardio.  I see my coach more often…..My weakness is posing but I’m now spending more time doing posing and not leaving it to the end.

I adhere to the adage by Flex Lewis that says, “The Trophy is earned in the hours when no one is watching.” 

In closing, be driven by a hatred of losing.  Celebrating a win is easy but suffering a loss is disastrous so take it seriously.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

I would call this, “Kicking it into Overdrive” or “Turning on the Afterburners”

Life does not have to be lived according to the dictates of others, especially those that wish us bad tidings.  We have the choice to “Live beyond mediocrity rather than live below the level of mediocrity.”   We, myself included, must be able to focus on what we want and generate the energy to go get it.  There is a fire inside us that wants us to out perform anybody who says we can’t do it or to beat anybody who is contending for the same goal as we seek.

As I take this quote from Arnold apart, it is painfully obvious that we have to place inside our hearts, minds, and soul that we resolve to not settle for something less than what we want.  We have to get up every morning with the thought that this is the day that I will win.  This is the day . that will define me as a winner.

When I was a young Navy Hospital Corpsman and I thought I knew what I was talking about, I was cornered by a Navy Chief Warrant Officer who had fought in World War II and was somewhat of a hero.  When I told him that my brother was a Marine he put his finger in my chest and said, “Your brother is a Marine. He and you should be so excited about getting out there every morning to do your job that by the time you finished shaving you ought to kick the bathroom door down to get out there to do your job.”  That’s the image of a Marine that I’ve kept inside my mind ever since that lecture, way back in 1971.  This is the same image I reach for when I want to accomplish something.  I ought to tear down any obstacle in my way to get out there and prep for my show.

Bodybuilding is made up of the mundane and the excitement required to “get it down.”  I have to keep my eyes on the trophy to be had to drive me forward, to win, and to claim victory.  It is very important to stay “hungry” and to push ourselves forward.  There are so many goals and objectives to accomplish.  Each one has to be approached with the same degree of urgency and confidence.

In closing.  It is imperative that we develop an attitude that longs to be a winner, participate in life with an eye toward the goal(s) I’ve set before my own eyes.  I choose to be a bodybuilder that anticipates winning and conquering my opponents.  All of us need (not want) a mindset that puts us in the driver seat.  We should not want to be prepping for contests or living our lives at the mercy of somebody else.  This is my life and I choose to drive my own ambition according my own desires.  Go for it! Do not let somebody else dictate what and how we do anything.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

Self Mastery is the cornerstone of all achievement.  I think this says it best and Buddha certainly captured the scope of the impact that Self Mastery has on the person and the world around him.  I could write for days on the subject of Self Mastery and many others have done just that.  For the sake of this article let it be understood that Self Mastery is synonymous with Self Discipline.

In bodybuilding there is a saying, “When Motivation Runs Out then Discipline Must Take Over.”  While we are digging deep to win the trophy there will be times when we just do not have the stomach to go into the gym and pound away at the weights.  There will be other times when we are distracted and other things in our lives are encroaching on our training time.  It is here that we have to see where we are going and focus on today and the tasks at hand to keep moving.  We have to, by sheer will, carve out time to workout.  Emotionally, we may be someplace else but we have to use personal discipline to bring our attention back to today’s effort.

Self Mastery has to cause us to do the priority items first and to do them well.  Self Mastery also has to cause us to NOT DO things that are not priority and that could actually hurt us.  Sometimes we have to get rid of friends and others who influence us to do things that are bad. This move to dump friends who are bad is a real challenge for all of us because none of us wants to lose friends.  Once we have worked out, we return to our normal hectic lives.  If you have a family then they come first and sometimes working out must go by the wayside, but if a family crisis is not in the offing then sticking to the regimen is paramount.

Posing at Vasa

Doug Posing at Vasa

Here are four principles that I follow each day:

1.)  I do not miss workouts

2.)  I do not talk during training

3.)  I work harder and longer than anybody else in this gym

4.) . When I leave the gym I can honestly say to myself that I’ve worked so hard that I “OWN” this gym

Self Mastery is the name of the game because nobody is going to do the work for us.  Nobody is going to suffer the consequences of not training hard or well.  Nobody is going to give me or you anything.  It all has to be earned!

In closing.  Drive yourself as hard as you can with an eye toward the prize.  Wherever you are weak, get help and then do the work to correct the weakness.  Nobody should have to remind you to get up and get going.

Here are some practical things to do to get started each morning:

1.) Set your alarm.

2.) Have your wife wake you up.

3.)  Set your workout clothes out the night before.

4.)  Prepare your food the night before.

5.) Get a training partner to whom you can be accountable

6.) Ultimately, get a coach that can keep you on track and focused on bigger and better goals

We chose this life and its up to us to capitalize on our strengths and correct our weaknesses.

Until next time.  I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, (ret), MHSM

In bodybuilding as in ancient Sparta, we don’t care about how many competitors there are that we must defeat.  We only want to know where we are to meet and fight for the trophy.  To Quote the Spartans: “Not how many, but Where.”  This has to be our mindset as we take the stage against foes who have trained as hard as we have to compete and win.  Sometimes, we will hit the stage and there will be few other competitors in our weight class or category.  Other times it will seem as though every bodybuilder in the world has shown up to take my win away.  In either case, the number is irrelevant.  We have to show up in the best shape of our lives and be ready technically to out do the competition.

There is a question among American Military Warriors, typically the Seals and the Green Beret troops.  “What do you do if you and your men are surrounded?  The answer from the leader of the Warriors is, “CHARGE.”  In other words, no matter the odds, we have only one response to our adversaries, “CHARGE.”  We will not die in place.  We will not surrender and be tortured to death, we will not submit to the sword of humiliation at the hands of our enemies.  We will find a way to win or die trying.  Our solemn commitment to excellence and the defense of ourselves is sacred and nobody can take it away unless we give it away.

In my world of bodybuilding, my Coach, Justin Dees has taught me that “I cannot talk about winning or preparing to win.  I have to do it.”  Thus, is born my holy commitment to be ready and to be in a mindset to win.”  Nothing is left to chance and my mind and body is thrown into the fray in pursuit of excellence and victory.  I’ve played tons of sports in my life but for some reason this sport of bodybuilding has brought out the Spartan in me that has always lived below the surface all my life.  I’ve done very well as an athlete but this challenge has placed my feet on a higher plain to fight and win.

In closing let me quote again the Spartan refrain, “Not How Many, but Where?”  Now is the time to put away fear and attack your goals with all your body, mind, and soul.  There is no turning back because you know who you are, what you want, and what you are willing to lose to gain the prize.

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, (ret), MHSM

It is an absolute truth that “The Beginning is Always the Hardest.”  When we set out to do something that we have never done before it is hard to get started and stay on track.  Also, when we choose to do what we know we ought to do it is hard.  Chances are that we put off doing what we have to do because it is hard and because it is new to our daily regimen.  There are tons of reasons why something new is hard in the beginning, let’s look at some of them:

1.) . It requires redoing our habits so that this new thing gets attention each and every day

2.  It usually requires us to restructure our schedules and lives to accommodate the new activity or discipline

3.) . The new task requires new muscles or new mental energy that we have never applied in this area and we are totally retarded in the application preocess

4.) We have a bad attitude about doing something new even though we know it has to be done

5.) Lastly, starting something new is awkward, stressful, and painful

These reasons all by themselves can derail our best intentions to go out and conquer the world.  Each of us has things that we want to accomplish but we are not motivated enough or we are too fearful to try.  But, like the Title of this Article: “Don’t Give Up, the Beginning is Always the Hardest” we must recognize this fact and commit ourselves to overcoming the “Beginning Difficulty.”

When I started lifting weights in the “Beginning” I had to overcome the very real muscle pain that was generated during the initial days and weeks.  Sometimes I would be so sore and I would see so little progress that I wanted to quit.  But, I knew that if I wanted to have something special occur because of my weight training I had to persist and to endure the punishment that I was inflicting on my body.  I had to learn that fighting through the pain barrier was imperative for me to succeed.  So, I pushed myself through two workouts per day, 6 days per week, for three years.  Nothing kept me away from my training sessions.  I just had to believe that these training sessions during the early days were going to pay off.

We have to have an internal task master that drives us forward to do better, to be better, to accomplish our goals.  Initially, the goal may be as simple as not missing workouts.  This little item is often just enough to keep us going. We will go to our journals and declare this week a smashing success because we did not miss training sessions.  We have to never take our eyes off the ultimate prize that we have set for ourselves.  Knowing where we are going and why we are going there makes the early days easier to live through because we have a definite destination.

Just remember!  “The Beginning is Always the Hardest.”  This is not the place to quit.  You have to believe in yourself to overcome these little wrinkles and bumps in the road that are going to occur early on in the process.

One more suggestion: If you are hurting, confused, discouraged, and weak, do not allow yourself to to feel self pity.  Do not think that you are incapable of winning.  Believe from day “one” that you can and will win and the rest is just the journey.

In closing, do not let the “Beginning” be the burial ground for all your hopes and dreams.  Find a way to put your desire to win ahead of all pain, suffering and sacrifice……Especially, in the “Beginning.”

Until next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, (ret), MHSM

How many times have we listened to our own kids adamantly insist that they would do just about anything to get this thing or that thing.  We have been subjected to the grand desires of our children to the point of near insanity.  Then, when we ask them what they were willing to do get the trophy or the item they so strongly wanted they would insist that they would do “ANYTHING.”

Let’s translate: First, as noted, nothing wished for or desired will come to pass by simply wanting it to occur.  No amount of pontificating and daydreaming will produce anything especially that which we desire.  Also notice that eventually each of us realizes that if we truly want something there will have to be effort applied to getting it.  It is here that we have to decide whether the trophy desired is worthy enough to pursue.  It is also at this juncture that we have to reach deep inside and determine how hard we are willing to work to attain the goal that we want.  This is the place where we either stop thinking about the thing we want or we turn on the after burners to go get the trophy ourselves.

We should never stop wanting things, attaining goals, winning trophies, or desiring outcomes.  These activities are all good.  What we have to do is focus on the amount of work it’s going to take to win.  At the same time we have to measure the amount of work it’s going to take and then take responsibility to expend the effort to do the work to win.

In bodybuilding I and my coach, Justin Dees will have lengthy conversations about what we want to accomplish this year.  In the final analysis we come to a meeting of the minds about the goal and the work it will take to win.  The most important thing he has to extract from me is my willingness to sacrifice, to rise to the occasion, to do the work, and to win.  Once this is done I and Justin will work hand in hand to get it done.

In closing.  Wanting something is easy.  Expending the work required to get something is very hard.  Like Justin has said to me during one of his moments of great exasperation, “You can’t just say you will do it.  You have to do it!”  Thus, the mantel of responsibility to do the work has been passed to me.  Justin, will hold me to the path and the goal.

Lastly, to all of us who have real goals and objectives to accomplish, “DO THE WORK AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.”  IT’S NOT WHERE WE START, IT’S WHERE WE ARE GOING AND WHERE WE END UP.”

Until next time, I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM

Putting this into play as a maxim for life has everything to do with “DISCIPLINE.”  My son, Sam Knuth, brought me a stupendous book entitled “Discipline Equals Freedom” by Jocko Willink.  On page 26 he says this about “DISCIPLINE,”  “It starts with waking up early……But that is just the beginning;  ….. It is working out, every day, making yourself stronger and faster and more flexible and healthier.  It is eating the right foods, to fuel your system correctly.  It is disciplining your emotions, so you can make good decisions. It is about having the discipline to control your ego, so it doesn’t get out of hand and control you. Discipline is about facing your fears so you can conquer them.  Discipline means taking the hard road — the up hill road.  Discipline calls for strength and fortitude and “WILL.”  It won’t accept weakness.  it won’t tolerate a breakdown in will.  Discipline is your best friend.  it will take care of you like nothing else can.  Most important, discipline will put you on the path to FREEDOM.”

Wow, this is a great description of what “DISCIPLINE” is and what it can do for you.  But, let’s discuss this a bit more.

First, we have to decide on a goal or objective.  This step alone can absorb us completely as we consider all the ramifications of selecting the thing that we want and are willing to sacrifice for to attain.  I recommend getting alone and thinking and writing about the goal.  Describe it great detail and insert all that it will require to have.  Ruminate on it.  Think about it always.  Pray about it.  Make it a part of our very being.  Having what you want will/may take all that we can bring to the fight to have it.  Ultimately, we have to decide that the goal is worth it.

Next, we discipline ourselves to do the things that are required to have the goal as our own.  We arrange our entire lives, if necessary, around the idea of accomplishing the goal.  I call this the principle of  “Asymmetrical Living.”  This simply means that what we want will demand all that we are.  There will be little to no balance in our lives as we pursue the goal that we have set before ourselves.  All that we do flows toward the accomplishment of the stated trophy. In bodybuilding, as in life, disciplining ourselves to study, to physically perform, to focus on the end goal requires far more than just doing the right thing.  It will demand a heavy bit of mental strength, emotional stability, and a setting aside of our ego.

We get up in the morning with an attitude that says, “We can do it and we can have it.”  We get our feet on the floor and we begin the act of living to win.  We shower, we shave, we put on fresh clothes, we eat breakfast.  Our day has begun and our every thought is on the thing we want the most.  We discipline ourselves to stick to the task at hand that contributes to a small degree toward the attainment of the goal.  Nothing we do throughout our day is wasted.  All things are there for our using to move us forward.

Let me reiterate that the exercise of personal discipline will lay the foundation to help us build personal strength and know how.  There is no short cut and there is no other way.  We have to embrace our discipline as the taskmaster that it is and that we are using it to win.  We cannot tolerate to any degree of breakdown of our will and personal discipline will keep us strong and on task.  Any other path we choose will put us in bondage to things that are meaningless and totally unrelated to the direction we set for ourselves.  However, personal discipline and perseverance will take us to our end goal and this end goal is truly defined as “FREEDOM.”

As noted in the title of this article, “We Do Today What They won’t, So Tomorrow We Accomplish What They Can’t.” This is the focus of discipline in my world of bodybuilding.  I have to assume that my competition is working very hard to beat me.  I must, in turn, be willing to do the hard things as they present themselves TODAY.  I have to think that what I am doing today is not what my competition is willing to do so I do it ASAP and harder than they are willing to work.  I do it now.  I have to know that if I outwork my competition by disciplining myself to do the really hard stuff today that I will be in a position to watch them fail because they cannot do what they failed to train for yesterday.

Life is like that.  We have to be willing to do the hard stuff so we can compete better, especially against those who choose an easier path.

In closing, please note that if there was an easier way to do something then everyone would be doing it.  What sets us apart is our willingness to do the hard stuff.  If we are disciplined to do the hard stuff then we will learn “THE ART OF WINNING.”