Author: Doug Graham

Only if you win the lottery is anything free. However, even when you win the lottery the government takes all it can despite you footing the bill and taking the risk in the first place. In the real world if you want something the price to attain your defined success is built into the effort.

Conventional wisdom dictates that nothing is free and nothing is owed to me/you just because we are here in this world. The very first thing we have to do is determine what we want and whether we are willing to pay the price to get what we want. Without this step there is nothing else to be done. In bodybuilding, we have to start here. Next, we develop a plan to get to the end game. After that we begin. We will invest our total inventory of assets to win. Our time, our money, effort, our sweat, and sometimes our blood. There are times we will pay with our bodies in the form of injuries resulting in repair and rehab. Not to mention the hundreds of hours of practice posing and presentation of our physiques before a panel of judges. There are just no shortcuts! My mantra is, “DO THE WORK.”

All of us who have been on stage remembers the exhilaration of just being in the best shape of our lives, standing alongside other athletes who have also made the journey to this moment. This moment is, all by itself, a success. One of my friends one time said to me as I was describing what it was like to be on stage, “Doug, when you are on stage there are a thousand other guys who wished they could do what you do.” Wow! I never considered that perspective before. I was instantly humbled. I had no idea.

The next part of a successful contest is placing well amongst your colleagues. Believe me! There is no greater thrill than finishing well and being satisfied with the result.

In closing, please note that the success and the journey are self defined and it is earned. Nobody has given you a thing. It’s hard but the victory and success belongs to you. Finally, nobody can take your success away from you. This is the definition of a win!

“SUCCESS ISN’T GIVEN——- IT’S EARNED”

This has to be the best definition for “DISCIPLINE” I have ever seen. It captures the emotion, temptation to not do something, the implied intellectual response to not wanting to do something, the reason or no reason to over ride our own downward inertia.

Vince Lombardi once said, “My job is to get grown men to do what they have to do when they don’t want to do it!” I would only add that it is our responsibility or duty to demand that we do what we dread doing when we’d rather not. These two assertions form the backbone of what we call “DISCIPLINE.” I have days like everybody else that are not so good. Something either physically, spiritually, or emotionally, is not right. When this happens I cannot do myself justice in my workout. Soooo! This is the time that I/we reach deep and get it done despite how we feel. Like my wife always says, “It is so easy to do but it is also so EASY NOT TO DO.” It’s best that we choose wisely here.

Bottom Line: When you want to do something else rather than train—-Forget it and get your butt on track and get the training done. No pep talks! Just do the work! My favorite Mantra that I repeat to myself during my workouts (especially when I’m not very motivated) is “Do the work!” Over and over again to remind me that nobody else can do it for me.

Keep at it and good things will happen. EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT—DO IT! THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF PERSONAL DISCIPLINE

I grew up in Iowa 4th born of 10 kids. Parents were poor and so were we kids. Bad housing, barely enough food, no religion, little to no supervision. This little description just about defines me—–“BUT!” I didn’t let it define me. I took each crummy experience on the chin, bled, cried and was defeated—–For the moment! Nothing prepared me for the rudeness and pain the world could and did dish out to me.

One of my biggest and most formative lessons was that nobody was going to give me anything and more often than not somebody would take something from me against my will. This sense that I had to do it myself imbedded itself in my heart and mind. This was my first lesson in growing up. I am alone and I have to generate my own success and if I failed, I had to learn to “take it.” Sports provided me with an avenue to be important, respected, and a smashing success, (I’m a legend in my own mind). I’ve used this philosophy of being a self-starter in everything I’ve done since the early days.

In bodybuilding I/you are the only people in the arena. We live and die on our own self-effort and self-determination. We are never satisfied with just participating. We have to set the bar high so that we “expect” to win. Anything less is unacceptable. I hate defaulting to the self talk of being happy with just being there. I hate “moral victories” because nobody cares about introspection and phony feel good exercises—especially when you lose.

We are defined by what we set out to do and that we accomplish our objectives. So, I try to accomplish my standard three goals for a show: 1.) I have to be in the best shape of my lives that night. 2.) I must determine to make no stupid mistakes on stage. 3.) Move up or place higher this contest than my previous show. These are what defines my “victory.” Oh yeah! If I win—-Katie Bar the Door! Drinks are on me tonight.

Bottom line: You determine what you want to accomplish. Nobody gives you anything. You have to do it yourself. My admonition is to get after it. “Hustle” all day every day until you win! The best to you always.

Somebody said to me once a long time ago, “If you want something to live for, then you must find something you are willing to die for.” This happened during a conversation with a Jesuit Priest (I’m not Catholic by the way) named Brother Don Birn. I was about 18 and living away from home for the first time and I was trying to grow up. We all can relate to that effort. I remember that this little bit of philosophy changed my perspective on so many things. I actively engaged my mind to sort out those things that were important enough for me to give my life for.

Several years later I found the thing I would die for. It came in the form of my kids. All three of them could make my heart soft in an instant. I’d watch them playing in a sand box, or pushing a stroller, or playing with blocks and my heart with swell so big I thought it was going to bust. This was my first real discovery concerning love and what it would take to keep and protect it. Thus, it has been the same regarding my kids since that time and will be forever. They have moved on to their own lives but they have become part of my life with no thought of being separated.

Not exactly a horizontal discovery but I eventually found a passion with bodybuilding in my later years. For some crazy reason the “bug” has bitten me. I train and yet it never seems to be enough. I have actually fallen in love with the effort to be better. I have adopted the philosophy that this sport requires my full attention. I’m not so sure I’d die for it but it’s well worth my best effort. I long to be always perfecting my craft. Honing the myriad of skills that it demands.

Just like loving my kids with an everlasting passion, there are some things that that love asks of you. My presence. My money. My home. My attention. My calls. The bottom line is that in order to be passionately happy we have to be engaged with that which we would die for or give our best for. Nothing can change us faster than the revelation of love and passion that asks us for our “All.” Make sure that we passionately love the right people and activities for the right reasons for we may be asked to give all that we have for it.

Learn to love, nurture, and embrace what you love with an eye toward it’s true meaning to you. Be willing to pursue it with all that you are. The reward is for you to attain it and keep it close to your heart.

How many times in our lives do we rub shoulders with guys/girls who have each and every skill needed to perform and be great. It could be physical beauty, raw intelligence, physical attributes, a witty personality, or some other genetically inherited attribute that enhances their starting point in life. Other times many people either have these attributes or they don’t, but have acquired skills that are at the ready to push the possessor to the finish line ahead of all others.

It has been my experience that the persons that have natural or acquired skills are not always the ones that maximize their use to win. In fact, it’s often the case that these owners of great potential squander their advantage by under performance. It is also my observation that the “gifted ones” are often swept aside by people who possess no advantage on the basis of “passionate hard work.” In fact history is loaded with examples of the underdog who was not supposed to win getting the prize. Mainly because they have learned to outwork all others to win.

I submit that there is ‘NO” substitute for passion if victory is to be attained. All the assets in the world cannot match the work of the “passionate hard workers.” I must also point out that this not always the case but it happens often enough to give “passionate hard work” vs “Giftedness” a set of very high marks.

In bodybuilding “passionate hard work” is the hallmark of winners. Genetically gifted athletes are not always the winners. My experience is that those who work very hard are often the winners as nearly all who participate in the sport will testify.

Bottom Line: “Skills are Cheap but Passion is Priceless”

We all have routines that are designed to get things done. We arise at a certain time each day, we go to work until quitting time, we put in the necessary effort to get the job done and to get home by a certain time to engage our “other” lives related to our families. This is the routine of about 75% of the population around the world with certain exceptions.

The greatest advice I picked up regarding winning came from a colleague of mine that escaped the Communists in Korea. He was a young physician training in the Northern part of Korea when the Communists swept into power and took control of the region where he was in medical training. He was instantly pressed into service providing medical care to the North Korean Army. He said he worked 20 hours a day and if he got a couple hours of sleep and some food it was considered a good day.

One night he and some other physicians and some nurses escaped and headed out to find South Korean Army forces i the South. They were captured 3 times and were lined up for execution by firing squad. Each time they were pulled out of line because they were doctors. Each time they escaped again to continue their journey to the South. Eventually after weeks of moving by night and sleeping by day they were picked up by an American patrol. They were taken into captivity, fed, clothed, housed , debriefed, and put to work. Eventually, he met up with the Chief of Surgery from the University of Minnesota who liked him and they became close friends. This physician invited my friend to attend the University of Minnesota’s College of medicine to complete his training. He encouraged him to become a Surgeon.

After several months he was able to depart South Korea with the U.S. Army and he headed for Minnesota. In summary, he married, graduated from Minnesota got into the Surgical Residency and became a Thoracic Vascular Surgeon.

I met him when I was doing rural healthcare with his group in Iowa. We were friends and shared a number of cases together. One day I asked him for some advice about becoming successful. He said, “You have to work while your competitors are sleeping, relaxing, drinking or otherwise engaged. This is how you outwork and out perform everybody else. There is no substitute for this extra effort.”

Bottom line for all of us to win at bodybuilding anything else is the same, 1.) Get up earlier 2.) Stay longer to train 3.) Work harder than anybody else. 4.) Fail. 5.) Fail again 6.) Never EVER quit.

This is the mindset that builds CHAMPIONS…….This is your life! Never Quit. This is YOUR TIME!

Sometimes in the struggle to be better, we engage in multiple side conflicts to enhance our position and our opportunity to win. These skirmishes are absolutely necessary for us to learn what its like to lose and what it’s like to win. Either way, we learn what it takes to do it better so that we know how to win the ultimate battle/war.

Along the way we will lose a ton of battles. In each terrible battle we will be taught the lessons of being a victor. There is no other way “DANIELSON” (MR. MIAGI, ‘THE KARATE KID.’ Also, My father in law taught my wife that “the greatest lessons in life are the ones we learn from our greatest failures.” We have to keep this perspective.

In all these battles we have to always keep our eye on the goal we seek. This ultimate victory has to be earned. Nobody can do it for us and most of the time we get little to no mentorship or encouragement. The goal we seek belongs to only us. We never give up on the goal because without it we become less than our true selves.

Battles enroute to total victory and the attainment of our calling in life is met with hundreds of little battles. We have to remember that these battles, especially when we lose, will teach us much about how to do it better next. These lost battles prepare us to win on the bigger stage. No lost battle is wasted. Our responsibility is to learn to win from the defeats that seem to occur all too frequently.

In closing. Do Battle. Lose some. Learn how losing will help us to win! There is no substitute. This is our time! Learn and win!

How many times have you been offered advice from somebody who clearly does not know what they are talking about? How many times have you heard friends, colleagues and sometimes family members brag about the way they do things that work every time? I would daresay that these moments are many and are indelibly imprinted on our minds, our hearts and sometimes our very soul.

As we listen and consider what is being put forth we are pained to being hearing the advice and the bragging. Each has it’s own stripes to impart on us. Ouch!!

There are two takeaways: 1.). Be kind and do not confront the advice giver or the bragger with harshness. Just let it go! As my brother in law used to say about these people, “Rave on bullshit, the crows will get you at dawn.” This my friends is perspective that allows us to be great in the face of haughtiness and arrogance so that we can salvage a relationship or to avoid personal damage. 2.) Determine to do the hard work in the dark (Note recent post by Jeff Later on Instagram). Further, decide to be better. Plan to be better. Go about the business of being better. Push so hard that it “shocks” your greatest critics. There is no greater victory! Tons of people want to win but the real courage belongs to him who is willing to Prepare to win. The real work is in the Preparation.

In closing remember to let the talkers talk—-alone! Then, quietly go about the business of silencing them with Herculean effort aimed at irrefutable results.

“WINNERS SAY THEY WILL DO AND WINNERS DO WITHOUT SAYING!”

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Nearly everything in life is a building process. It starts with something small, like a thought, followed by an action, followed by a failure or some sort of success. The key feature in this very natural scenario is that one goes from something small to something bigger.

Let it be said that when we aspire to do something very big or better we have to pay attention to every detail in the process. “Rome wasn’t Built in a Day” and thus the accomplishment of what we desire also will take longer than a day.

In bodybuilding we have two major activities to look after. First, consistency is the the requisite mindset that leads to increased muscle mass. Quite simply, we don’t miss workouts. Secondly, discipline is employed as we prepare for the stage. Of course discipline is in play on a daily basis but discipline is especially vital during prep to get onto the stage.

Consistency requires tons of detail work that occurs daily. In short, it is a total change in life stye. We have to focus on our eating habits. Eating the right amount of food to include protein, fats, and carbs at regularly prescribed intervals is paramount. Supplements are very important. Each supplement taken is aimed at correcting a deficiency to filling out a need for a better body. We should be having full panels of blood work done about every 6 months to be sure we are taking in the right amounts of vitamins and minerals. Training correctly scheduled and performed is the backbone of improving our physiques. Cardio must be done at prescribed intervals to keep our bodyweight under control or to enhance our appearance during the preparation phase of training.

Discipline, I submit has a special place in my world because it connotes particular effort needed before hitting the stage to be our best. Sure, we use discipline daily to get to the gym and to complete the daily regimen but it is here in the prep stage that extra attention to details is required. During prep we are laser focused on our posing, our food, our water intake, our supplement intake, cardio performance, and tanning.

In the above stages of Consistency and Discipline we have to be all over the details. We schedule things, we set alarms to remind us of things to be done at certain times. Nothing is left to chance. I have three things that I want to accomplish with each show: 1.) I must be in the best shape of my life at show time. 2.) I desperately work to be so ready that I make no mistakes (turning left instead of turning right when the judges give us commands). 3.) I ultimately want to move up or do better this time from the previous show (move up to 2nd versus 3rd from the last show). If I can accomplish these three things then I conclude that it was a successful show.

Remember, that if we want to accomplish something bigger than where we are, we have to pay attention to the details required. Another way to say it is, pay attention to the little things that lead us to be successful winning at bigger and better events. Nothing can be left to chance. Winning takes time and effort and focus. There are no shortcuts!

My final thought:

“THE LITTLE THINGS MUST ACCOMPLISHED IF WE WANT TO ACHIEVE THE BIG THINGS THAT GOD LAYS ON OUR HEARTS”.

This is a maxim that cannot be violated even if you try.

Everybody I know wants something that is much more than they have. I’ve yet to meet a person who is totally satisfied with just doing the barest of things to survive. Dreaming and trying to imagine life on a higher plain is intoxicating to almost anyone alive. However, many of us settle for a very rich dream life where we are forever the victors and champions of the thing or circumstances we imagine. In these self inflicted stories we are the kings and gods of that which we desire. Delusionally, there is never a bad day or a major defeat. Life is good because we wish it to be so. A great cautionary verse in I Corinthians 10:12 which says, “Wherefore, let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” However, delusional thoughts of grandeur often carries the day and nothing is learned.

At the other end of the spectrum are those of us who can’t imagine anything more than we have. Life is such a chore and pain is our constant companion. We see others as always more worthy of good things and rewards but never us. There is only badness, fear, dread, and a sense of failure. Never does the imagination dare to speak of great things or even good things. This too is because we wish it to be so but we can’t think of goodness to prevail. It gives rise to the concept or real possibility that we are faced with, “Despair, A Moment or a Way of Life.” This person has to decide whether they will remain at their lowly estate or will they do something to make it better.

Lastly there is the life that most of us live and fight from. It’s highness and lowness is tempered by real life experience and the belief that our lives are not static. We can choose to be champions or we can give up and settle to the bottom of our existence never to rise. We who have experienced lowness can never settle for being less than we are. We can decide to do better despite where we find ourselves. This life which I have to insert is my life. Times of great depression juxtaposed to times of great mountain top experiences helps us to change what we can to better in this world. We dream but we have learned that dreams are not reality but they can become reality. To transform a dream or a wish into a reality takes tons of work. I have adopted the belief that nothing is free. Branch Warren, a solid Olympian Bodybuilder once said, “Everything is earned and Nothing is given.” I even have his t-Shirt that declares this truth.

Let me end this on this note: Most things in life that are desired can be had. You have to want it bad enough that we will stop wishing for it to appear. We rather begin to plan and get to work attaining it. Wishful thinking is good but to make the dream or the wish to come into existence for us, we have to work for it. “WE MUST STOP WISHING AND START DOING.