Author: Doug Graham

I just had to write this to my wife in this forum called SPARTAN SERIES because this is the place where I dump my other passions. This is the place that Christine allows me full range of thought regarding bodybuilding and life. To not use this same space to tell her of my most important passion (namely her) would render me derelict at best and far worse if I thought about it.

Christine, since I met you I have been better. I’m never going to say I’m always right but I’m better. I’m better because you bring out the very best in me. Your spirit always draws me closer to you and that make us the best couple in the world—-bar none! You don’t make me glow. It’s your glow that forever attracts me to you.

Christine, I am good at many things but I truly can’t do anything without you. You make me feel great about me. Your presence and touch makes me happy! There is nothing better than you.

I could keep dumping great things on you but there would never be enough said. One of my favorite quotes that describes you and us goes like this, “What started as a simple melody has grown into a roaring symphony!” Your love has no end in this world nor in the world to come.

Stay close! I’m not very good without you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE

DOUG

TRUER THAN ANY OF US KNOWS

I make it a point to respond to as many people who respond to my “SPARTAN SERIES POSTS AND PHOTOS.” The whole goal is to connect with as many personalities that are ding well with training, competitors, the ones that are having trouble getting started, and the crowd that is struggling to stay on track. I find it incredible that my journey through the world of bodybuilding has impacted so many others. There isn’t a time that I don’t get 50-150 compliments and admonitions to keep going. I don’t know most of the respondents but for sure they have picked up something and they say so.

My wife has greater insight than I do most of the time. She is impressed that out of my 400-600 likes and responses I get with each article how many of them say something like, “You inspire me.” and “I want to look like you when I’m your age.” or “Can you help me with (something)?” I’m amazed because we all train hard but we never stop to think that the world is watching us to see if we are real. Whether our efforts can be trusted. Most of all, they want to be noticed and told that there is greatness in their desires and efforts. All of us need that assurance that what we are doing is worth it and that we can attain greater things than ourselves.

I would encourage all of us who do bodybuilding to be sensitive to the ‘watchers” who are always in the room. They are in the same place we were not so long ago. The deserve our best. This is the pattern that they are looking for and we can give it to them simply by our work ethic, our example, and our willingness to interact with them to encourage them to put forward their best.

I’m going to win! So show those that are watching us, “HOW IT’S DONE!”

REMEMBER! MANY ARE WATCHING US. THEY ARE LOOKING FOR THE GREAT MAN TO INSPIRE THEM TO GREATNESS!

LASTLY, THIS IS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE AND TO MOVE THE “WATCHERS” TO THEIR OWN GREATNESS.

Let’s just consider the fact that all of us are different. Each of us brings something that is absolutely unique into the world. None of us posses much, if any identical looks, traits, idiosyncrasies, biases, and ideas. In all this infinite seething mass of humanity one of those people is you and one of them is me. This is not only true but profound.

The challenge for me is to define who I am and what makes me tick. It’s a lifetime of effort to say the least but eventually we become aware of the things that are truly ours.

Transitioning to bodybuilding, it has to be understood that my goals and objectives are different than the competitor standing beside me on stage. He is who he is and we will never be completely alike. These differences in body type and training and ultimate goals need not divide us or makes us enemies. However, when we take a particular path it is defined by so many things that are uniquely ours. In the process, we will be misunderstood, opposed, and sometimes overtly criticized. We have to be willing to walk alone and lose friends and associates and sometimes family members as we push ourselves in our own ways to the top. It is hard to “do it my way.”

Through hard work, perseverance and a faith in God, you can live your dreams—-Ben Carson, MD, Pediatric Neurosurgeon, Johns Hopkins University

Being willing to be different is risky business to our psyche, our self-esteem, and sometimes to our self worth. Take all the advice and wisdom to train hard and effectively knowing full well you may end up alone on the trail. Don’t stop! This is your time to do “do it your way!”

Remember who you are and what brought you this far.

Too often I/we put ourselves in a position of total dependence on others for our daily bread, our housing, our jobs, our finances and ultimately we surrender our person. We do this because I/we believe in our hearts that whatever we want or need requires something or somebody else. We are fashioning a dependent lifestyle totally void of our personalities.

The next stage in this drama is that we learn to take no responsibility for anything and we blame everybody else for our failures or problems. We become victims.

In order to “WIN” we have to decide to be winners. We have to come to grips with the reality that nobody else is going to do it for us. Whatever we want has to be obtained by sheer will and effort that “WE” generate! Go back to basics. Roll up your sleeves and go to work. Set your heart and mind on that which you desire. Make it happen. There is no White Knight to save us. There is no Fairy god-Mother. There is no Daddy War Bucks. Nothing in this world is free.

The most devastating fear that is fixed in my psyche is that I will be beholden to somebody and they will own me. I don’t ever want to be a serf. If I do something wrong I’ll take my stripes. If I am not worthy then I will suffer the consequences. End of story!

In bodybuilding we are motivated by our own dreams, our own goals and objectives. We make a plan and we stick to it. When things are not going well, we take steps to overcome the bad times. If we do these basic things we will win. But, we have to do it because, “NOBODY ELSE WILL!”

The take home lesson in all this is that we can win all by ourselves, alone, focused, and on fire with the dream.

Remember: “NOBODY ELSE WILL—–“

As I get older (and I’m so damned old that you can find my fingerprints on the Rosetta Stone) I have to pursue all that I do with an eye toward winning and not just participating. My philosophy is, “Why do it if you don’t want the best?” I make no excuses for my age. I am a “singularity.” I am here and I must be dealt with according to the rules of the game without regard to age or infirmities.

Too often all of us has a crisis of faith in ourselves and we do about three things to feel/be better; 1.) We have a ready made convenient excuse that will explain our failure to win or to at least be ready. 2.) We quit and then we submit a ready made excuse to save face. 3.) We look around. Decide we are capable and get our asses in the game.

Next up for the geriatric bodybuilder are 4 shows in 2022. Oh, I am aware of the wear and tear on my body and my wallet that will be wrought. But, I do it just to know that “I AM STILL IN CHARGE.” For me it’s all about self-mastery. Deciding what to do and then planning to accomplish my goals, sticking to the plan, and winning (finishing the course).

Face it gang! We all have things we want to do so now is the time to get started. I recall a conversation I was having with a good friend of mine, Doug Andrewski, who puts on the “Titan Championships” bodybuilding contest in Wisconsin every year. I said out loud, “I wish I had started competing when I was much younger!” Doug Came back with the greatest piece of wisdom I have ever heard. He said, “Look Doug (me) all we have is today AND you have a ton of potential.” This bit of advice and perspective took me by storm. I have been forever grateful to Doug Andrewski for this quip. Since then, I have forgotten about my years. Instead, I focus like I always have on just improving and being my best. I’m still here guys!!

To all the other guys who worry that they are too old to set massive goals in bodybuilding I say, “GET YOUR ASSES IN THE GAME.” Nobody is going to do it for you. It’s your call to either sit out or get onto the field of contest. Besides, I love seeing my old muscle head friends on stage. Also, you will probably add a few more years to your life! As a bonus, your wife gets the best of you.

In closing remember Doug Andrewski’s admonition, “Look! All we have is today AND all of us has tons of potential.” See you in the gym or on stage…..Your geriatric traveling companion…..Doug Graham

This absolute maxim seems to be rarely discussed today like it was when I was a kid. While I was growing up there was a heavy dose of masculinity and the demand to become a man. There was the expectation that finding that “every man” place for me had to occur. Passing through the many rights of passage that young men go through prepared me for asking the ultimate questions: What do I want and what is worth giving my all for. There are numerous other soul-searching things that lend themselves to defining what we want and what we are willing to do to have them.

Speaking to all of us who do bodybuilding and who have families, it has to be established that our objectives, and possessions, and loves will require far more than feelings. Each thing we love will demand that we fight to possess them, keep them, and hold them dear. My wife, my kids are everything to me. I will never back down from whatever the challenge needed to keep them close and happy. My protection of them is paramount. Note that if I ever ceased to fight for them I would lose them. I will have nobody to blame but myself.

Jumping abruptly to bodybuilding. If we want the next level to occur then a fight will be in the picture. We fight to define the next level. We fight to believe in ourselves. We fight to muster the motivation. We fight to plan and be disciplined enough to advance—daily. We have to love it. We have to want to possess it. We must hold those goals in mind and close to us. So tight that nobody can take them away from us.

My family gets all of me forever! Bodybuilding, as cool as it is, will be a distant second. But, each of these will ask much of us.

In closing. Let’s be men of principle, direction, courage, and champions. We will win always if we keep the important things uppermost in our minds and hearts. I love my wife. I love bodybuilding. Both have to be fought for but let us never forget which is most important…..Your wives and your families.

“Let’s kick the door down” and get out there and do the right thing.

Written as a stream of consciousness. It just seemed to be the right thing to do.

There isn’t anything that we set out to have or do that will not be threatened by obstacles. Some obstacles are personal, physical, external, or a perception that what we are about to attempt is out of reach. Personal obstacles are those things that we believe about ourselves. It comes in the form of self confidence or desire or a total lack of belief in ourselves. It all comes down our ability to see ourselves as champions or excuse makers. The question to me is, “HOW BAD DO WE WANT IT?” External obstacles are things that we do not have much control over but still need to be negotiated. Car broke down. House burned down. Child or spouse is sick. Hard as these things are we have to figure out a way to not let them derail us.

If we truly want something that we set out to do or obtain we have to have decided that this quest was worth it. The first test of our resolve is faced when something gets in the way. Do we quit? Do we take a break to figure out what needs to be done? Then do we press forward beyond the obstacle to proceed onto victory?

In bodybuilding there are going to be tons of things that keep us from training, eating right, taking the right supplements, doing cardio etc. My first and foremost problem must be solved first, “HOW BAD DO I WANT IT?” To me this is the nugget of truth that will drive us forward once we have decided that we will do anything to be better and to win. When we then face an obstacle we immediately roll up our sleeves to fix the problem or to overcome the rock on our path. Push until you can push no more. Change tools if necessary. Dress differently. Double down on the problem area….No matter what we must clear the obstacle. Focus is everything! Never look back. Never listen to close friends, relatives and knuckleheads. Develop a proverb, a mantra, a motivating quote that will drive you to the end.

You get the picture! Nothing can come between us and the goals we have set. Nobody is going to do it for us. Nobody’s going to tell you to turn off the TV. Nobody’s going to get us up in the morning to train. As I’ve said before, “THIS IS OUR TIME AND THIS IS OUR LIFE.” Go for it but be sure you want it!

How many times have you heard people declare that they would like to start training but they don’t have time, or I don’t want to get big I just want to get toned, or I will start after (you fill in the blank). The list of reasons why “NOT TO START” is endless. Hell, all of us used many of these same excuses ourselves before we came face to face with ourselves regarding training. In reality, there is always a ready reason to not do what we ought to do. It’s easy to utter non-sense than to invest in the effort to be better. Let’s just extend this to any challenge in life that presents itself. Conventional wisdom is that nothing gets done until you decide that it’s worth doing or required.

In my life I had to get over the notion that “I’m too old.” Or “at my age I could get hurt.” Another one is that “People who know me would think I’m living out a fantasy and I just won’t ever grow up.” So, you see we let other people’s opinions of us cause paralysis and we return to the predicable world that is expected of us by a legion of naysayers. Thus, nothing is done and we are miserable for having caved. I have to admit that getting started required that I develop my own self-talk and my own mantras that played in my head to keep me going. I had to decide that I don’t care what others say and that “this is my decision and my life.” Some have said that I do bodybuilding and other things that seem big and out of reach because I want others to like me. My effort must match the degree of acceptance that I perceive is needed.

Cutting to the chase. This is my time and it is your time to shine at whatever you decide is important. Let’s not waste time worrying about the opinions of others who are also stuck in their world of mediocrity with no way out. Each of us has great things inside us that need to be advanced. I love bodybuilding. I have wanted to integrate it into my life for decades and I finally took the plunge despite being “too old” and “refusing to grow up” as my critics have said. You love something that is on your heart to do. Now is your time! Start and never look back. Make no apologies. The naysayers will melt away as you accomplish that for which you are called. Break the imposed mold of expectation and reach for the adventure that belongs to only you. Don’t be a critic but rather be an advocate for excellence and daring.

In closing, “THIS IS OUR TIME. LIFT WHERE YOU STAND AND START. NEVER BACK DOWN” May all of us answer the call of our passions. Critics will be silenced and many will be blessed because of your courage and tenacity to excel in the face of horrific criticism and antagonism. See you on the other side winning!!

Some simple advice for all of us who seek to advance, improve, or to win…..Be quiet! Look inside yourself for the vision, strength, commitment, and inspiration to push forward to our understood or stated goals. There is no substitute for prayer and meditation in an effort to get in touch with the thing needed to attack the difficulties that lie between us and our objectives. When alone, stay there until G9d gives you the answer or vision to follow.

I worked for the Air Force Surgeon General for a few years and he had a favorite saying he’d use when fighting back or winning was on the line. He’d say, “TIME TO FIX BAYONETS AND COME OUT OF THE FOX HOLES AND ATTACK!” This is precisely how we should see ourselves. We have to see our journey with a sense of urgency. We ARE the underdogs and we cannot lose. We have to perform no matter the cost.

As we solidify our resolve, many outside our lives (per Coach Jeff Later: will see only a person that is obsessed, self-absorbed, vain, restricted. When in reality what these same people don’t see is somebody who is disciplined, healthy, self-confident, and free). We are “CHANGING” and this change does not require the praise of people or the loud music of John Phillip Sousa to motivate us. We who aspire to be good or great must labor in silence because nobody will do it for us. In bodybuilding we must change. It starts in the heart and mind. Then it spreads to our character and our ethical selves. In other words, nothing that is truly lasting happens just because somebody compliments us. We have to do the hard personal, inner work in order to accomplish what we set out to do. It all happens when nobody is looking. When there is just us and a dream.

In closing: CHANGE is coming just like we have imagined. Now, get up and close the door so you will not be interrupted. “FIX BAYONETS (QUIETLY) AND ATTACK.” Nobody’s watching as “CHANGE” happens.

This is probably the most poignant and soul searching question of all eternity! A Jesuit Priest named Brother Don Burn made this statement during my Hippie Dippie growing up days when I was 19 years old. He said, “You’ll never have anything to live for until you find something that you are willing to die for.” That was new and it shook the very foundation of my existence. To this day it’s a pillar of my evaluation to determine if something is worth addressing or doing. Another way to say it, “Is this woman I call my wife worth living for by being willing to give my life for her?” Answer is a resounding YESSS!! This assertion sets the tone for the rest of this article.

Bodybuilding all by itself is not worth a whole lot. But what causes it to rise in importance is that it demands a commitment that exceeds almost anything else in our lives. This sport teaches us much about ourselves that we don’t necessarily share with others. We have to decide from the first day that winning is worth all that we invest in on the journey to the stage. I doubt that any of us would give our lives for the sport but we have to learn to give what is required to be the best. There are times when we will feel like we have to pour out our souls to be ready. I would encourage us to never get our priorities mixed up here. First, bodybuilding does not rise to the level of giving our lives for it. Secondly, our wives and children are totally worthy of our lives. Just keep them straight and we will win and have fun at it.

I have four shows penciled in for 2022. I will train, I will hurt, I will bleed at times, I will probably get injured, I will want to quit but I won’t. You will do the same thing. However, during the journey I will recommit myself to protecting, fighting for, and comforting my wife always and to reconnect with my kids. If I need to I will die for her and them. Just keep the priorities straight and I will be waiting for you on stage. This is our arena and field of contest. Our homes are where we live, move and have our being…..Our homes are the hill we will die on to make them safe.

“A MAN ONCE TOLD ME……THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW IS WHAT HE WOULD DIE FOR.”