Author: Doug Graham

This story tracks very closely to what i/we refer to as “The Every Man’s Story.” Summary, 1.) Man is born 2.) Man leaves home to find his way or to become a success 3.) Man is successful 4.) Man returns as conqueror and victorious.

Almost every little boy and many little girls (I say it this way because I’m a guy and this is what I’m most familiar with and experienced with) dream of doing great and mighty things with the one and only life we have. Most of us on the planet do not have even the basics to even qualify to think this way. Eventually, we settle for what is possible or reasonably acceptable as goals. It’s not a moral settling, it is a practical settling. In the process we abandon the wild images in our heads of dizzying success and we reach for that which is practical and easily attainable.

Let’s jump right into bodybuilding…..shall we?!! When we start out we have NOTHING to demonstrate that makes us even remotely competitive. I had less than the average bear when I made up my mind to become better. 5’5″ and 150 lbs. older at 58 years old. Worn out from a career as an Air Force Lt Col and not feeling good about myself. I started this journey with nothing. I decided to begin training with no expectations other than getting into shape. I trained twice per day x 6 days per week for 3 years. I wore full sweats. I grew and didn’t even know it. I let nothing get in my way. Life had changed because I wanted to be better than I was.

One day I had to take off my shirt and I got the attention of several colleagues in the gym. I weighed 190 lbs. All said I should consider competing. I said “No WAY!” I told my wife and she said I should try. I’ve been doing it several times per year ever since. I just finished my 21st show. The end game for me is to let nothing get in my way and nothing will stop me except me. I will keep beating my grandkids until I yell “UNCLE” and I declare it done!

For each of us we have to understand that having nothing in the beginning of a journey is absolutely normal. The things we gain during our journey are bonuses. But, the most important lesson is that we continue toward the goal in an unrelenting fashion with no intention of quitting.

Key thought: “WE START WITH NOTHING AND NOTHING CAN NOW STOP US!” Starting in a humble place is no excuse for doing less than our best to be better than we are. Special note: “THIS REALITY MINDSET IS APPLICABLE FOR ANYBODY ANYWHERE WITH A DESIRE AND DRIVE TO WIN!” If you want it—-go get it!

We start with nothing and nothing can stop us

Life is a battle! It defines and refines us. It causes us to be better and more than we ever imagined just to stay alive. When we get up in the morning life is waiting for us. Our feet hit the floor and we are in the midst of survival and winning.

Someone said that “in order to wage war, you have to become war.” You have to understand what is at stake and what is required to be “still standing when the smoke clears.” When we fail to understand and we shy away from the fight we will find ourselves as the vanquished. We might hesitate too long and our opportunity to win will have blown right by us or the adversary will hurt us because we were not ready or because we hesitated before engaging.

Not every battle or skirmish is immediate. Most times we see what needs to be done and it requires us to settle in for now. the goal is out there but it has to be sought after using a couple gifts that not every person posses. Two of the mightiest warriors that we have at our disposal if we will apply them are: 1.) Patience. and 2.) Time. Very few people (myself included) ever take the opportunity to develop these warriors in our lives. We see a challenge and we attack instantly as a rule. But, when you want something or need something that is going to take a long term look and a plan we have to plug into a couple of realities 1.) Patience and 2.) Time

When my son had cancer. I had no immediate answers nor did I control the outcome. It’s here that the mightiest soldiers in my arsenal had to take over. The treatment and the course was going to take time. Because time was needed I had to develop patience as my buddy. I have/had no patience so getting to know this warrior was awkward, frustrating, and painful but in the end it has become my calling card for these terrible situations. I believe, because of my son and his Leukemia that I have patience and a clear understanding of what time means to win. None of this makes me special but it did define me and refine me enough to be a much different man.

In closing, nobody likes being introduced to situations and new skills to address new challenges. But, I can say that my favorite and most powerful warriors that keep me focused in times of real darkness are. 1.) Patience and 2.) Time.

Final parting thought! In bodybuilding there is no shortcuts. First focus is to be patient as the results of our labors become manifest. Time is the tincture that all bodybuilders and simple human beings must spend judiciously. We don’t miss workouts. We do not side step challenges. Learning to love patience and allowing time to do its magic is the sign of a person with self mastery.

Always know that the warriors of patience and time will never fail you if you give them the chance to be applied and understood. Until next time! Doug

When we first get involved in bodybuilding we have no idea what or who we are up against. We just know that we want to look like the champions of the sport as fast as we can so we can crush all comers. We imagine that we will defeat everybody because we work hard and we see great changes. In fact, our own imaginations are where our greatest source of self delusional thought begins.

First, the competitors on stage with you are not our enemies. They are colleagues who have worked as hard as we have to be ready for this moment. Win, lose, or draw we are here to show the world that we belong here and that we are ready. My mind never gives my opponents anything. 2.) My mind also does not take anything away from my fellow competitors. We have all traveled a very tough road and now it’s time to put it all on display to validate our improvement or to establish our status.

The most important thing we have to remember is that the war is with OURSELVES. We have to keep our bodies on full display for us to be constantly evaluating it and correcting deficiencies or enhancing strengths. In short! Our biggest and most intense competition is with ourselves. The journey to personal greatness is a daily proposition. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we have to only compare ourselves today with ourselves from yesterday. Big questions for us as we evaluate ourselves are: 1.) Am I bigger? 2.) Am I more defined? 3.) Am I proud of the changes that I worked so hard to attain? 4.) What must I do to improve each deficiency or to enhance my best body parts. I promise you fellow bodybuilders that if you forget everybody else and do what is required to be great—–You/I will win!

In closing: Remember that you are your own worst enemy. We are also our own best advocate and cheering section. Like the song says by Carly Simon, “NOBODY DOES IT BETTER!” So focus on you because nobody else will…..Winning will take care of itself!

Of course we all know people who were born with all the physical and intellectual advantages known to man. Heck, their parents also have enough money to undergird them through thick and thin. We seem to always be in the second position to them and there is usually no way to catch them and over come them. If we stop and think for a minute we should conclude that all is lost and we ought to pack our bags and go home.

However, most of us “commoners” were born with a sixth sense 1.) That all is not lost 2.) There is some hope 3.) We just have to find it.

The truth lies in the effort that we are willing to put forth to win. The “gifted ones” that are ahead of us still have to be acknowledged, sized up, and challenged. If we want anything in this world we have to know that not every fight is fair. We have to decide for ourselves what needs to be done to win.

In bodybuilding I often meet competitors that seemingly have it all and my heart sinks. Sometimes I feel like I should have stayed home and watched “Leave it to Beaver!” It would have been more fun. Often, I do very well and that stab of self doubt was is rendered meaningless.

My conclusion is this! I am not the best but I can compete against the best if I abandon jealousy and envy first. I then turn to the thing I’m good at. I outwork them in my prep. I lift more. I start earlier. I stay later. I peak out on cardio. I pose harder and longer. My wife will demand more of me because she knows I’m up against the best as she pounds me during posing practice. This strategy “ALWAYS” works. Work while they sleep. Work while they play. Work while they eat. The results will show but it’s all up to you. Never look back.

There is really only one thing we have any control over, OUR DRIVE! Never let natural talent overcome your work ethic. If you out work them—-You win!

THE LANDSCAPE OF THE EARTH AND HEAVEN IS LITTERED WITH THE BROKEN BODIES, MINDS, SPIRITS, AND LIVES OF MEN WHO HAVE STUMBLED OR HAVE BEEN BROKEN. The crucible that we live in, that refines us, that makes us better is often more than we can bear—-and we quit and we become part of the littered landscape. We see it all the time. But, what we don’t see is the hearts and individual struggles of each broken man. We only have the capacity to observe, make notes, and try to avoid the calamities we witness. Sure we can stop to try and understand but life has a curious way of ushering us along our way and the lessons potentially learned are quickly forgotten.

In the midst of defeat and self loathing and the ultimate destruction there are spirits that attain a foot hold. They cling to the rocks around them for dear life. They gather themselves and take stock of where they are and what is required to stop the bleeding and move in a different direction. To say the least, the “rebuilding” process has begun.

The man who is under “reconstruction” is doing it with an eye toward never making the same mistakes again.

After a major bodybuilding defeat we can either sulk and surrender or we can get back to our offices, lay out a plan to win, get back to the gym and change all that’s wrong into all that is good. Nobody wants to face a man who has been broken and is now being rebuilt. For he knows where all the mistakes were made. These do not exist any longer. His arms are bigger, more defined, and stronger. His core and his core values have been galvanized and there is only strength and a will to win in this new man’s heart.

What I’ve described above is the “epitome” of failing, gaining redemption, resetting your direction with a “Holy” commitment to excellence and to win. There is no stronger man in the world than the broken man who has rebuilt himself. This potential foe will not ever be defeated again.

Final thought: To win means you have to be willing to fail. To win means you have to be able to see a way to win where none is obvious. To come back from the brink of Hell is a testament to the character of the broken man who will rebuild himself. Always reject quitting and always search for the way forward.

Always be on the “REBUILD” there is no greater activity.

I’ll never forget the quote from Paul “Bear” Bryant, Hall of Fame Coach from the University of Alabama when he said, “Win?!! Hell, everybody wants to win. But! Victory belongs to those who “PREPARE” to win. Being a winner is not automatic. Simply participating does not qualify any of us to enjoy the fruits of victory, like trophies, medals, parades, privileges and the like. To say it again. Never “EXPECT” success unless you prepare for it. This preparation guarantees nothing but it does position us for the win when the time is right.

This little lesson has been ingrained into me and my generation nearly from birth. “IF YOU WANT TO BE BETTER, FLY HIGHER, BY SUPERB—-YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOURSELF TO BE ALL THOSE THINGS!” As one of my bosses said to me when I asked for a promotion, “Douglas, there’s no free lunch!”

I’m going to take a moment here and send “A MAJOR SHOUT OUT TO MY SON, SAMUEL THOMAS KNUTH, 2LT, UNITED STATES ARMY ON HIS PROMOTION THAT WAS ANNOUNCED TO DAY TO 1LT.!” We are so proud of him and this great work ethic he shows every day of his life. Again! Congratulations Sam! You earned it!

This congratulatory message is precisely what this article is about. Sam prepared and Sam has won. This is the way it’s done.

Let’s all of us make a commitment to be ready to seize all the goodness and rewards for having prepared for success.

For the record my preparation is coming along well for April. I’m not going to be ready for March….sorry! I will be dialed in and I’ll let you know how it goes. More later so go get ready to win!

This is poignant and yet it must be discovered. Another way to say it is, “just because something is true does not make it applicable to us unless we make it so.”

All of us wants things to occur in a great and masterful way for us. But, we go about our lives with lackadaisical attitude that betrays the passion that lives within us. We make plans that will satisfy our family and financial needs. We plan for a family because it is the right thing to do. We watch our kids grow up and leave the nest because it is the responsible thing to do. Then, we outline a retirement that is supposed to reward us for a lifetime of work. To me, living our lives like this is not wrong. But, it is more akin to being a paralytic laying beside the “Pool of Bethesda” waiting for the angel to come down to stir up the water so that we can then be healed and walk. Ouch!

I submit as noted above that our passion, our personalities, our desires, our souls become animated the moment we first comprehend that our single life is all we have and we ought to be about the business of optimizing and maximizing every nanosecond of our existence. Suddenly, the thing that animates us and drives us forward is operationalized. As the song from the group Queen says, “nothing can stop us now!” We move heaven and earth to do what we are called to do and time is running out. Going through the motions of being alive will never satisfy us ever again. We are “in it to win it!” My old friend Doug Andrewski who is the organizer and promotor of the Titan Classic in Kenosha, Wisconsin said to me when I was lamenting that I wished I had started bodybuilding at a much younger age, “Doug! Just remember this, All we have is today and I (Doug) have a lot of potential.” In other words, “start where you are and tap your potential that you possess.” Nothing else matters in this realm.

To be clear. I am no suggesting that we jettison our lives in exchange for something better. Quite the contrary. Finish what you started but be encouraged that life is now going to be lived actively from now on. Being simply passive and reactive will never do again. I think I’ve said enough.

This is our time and we will be granted no extra seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, or years. Be courageous and do that for which you are called. If we do that, all of us in the world benefits from our greatest efforts.

Your second life has begun!

This is a self fulfilling prophecy and a stand alone truth. Man! We are so arrogant to think that if we do anything at all we deserve great results. LOL! I encounter people all the time that tell me how they went to the gym, worked out, and they see no improvement. Well, like somebody told me a long time ago, “Just because you go into the garage does not mean you’re going to come out as a car.” The same logic applies.

A gigantic truism is that going to the gym all by itself is not the secret to changing yourself or your own physique. Getting to the gym is admirable but you have to have a plan of execution for that time in the gym. Even before going to the gym we have to have a goal or some idea about what we want to accomplish….an end point toward which we work. The final basic variable is time. We have to be in the gym daily over a certain period of time. Consistency plus hard work plus a personal vision will yield the desired result.

In our zeal to be better we attack our training with what we know (or what we think we know). As we attack we begin to learn that there is much more that is required of us to be great. We have to be willing to do hard things. We also have to be willing to change or to expand our training to get the desired results. Sometimes we get so stuck in our ways that we over develop some muscle groups while other muscle groups get neglected and the results and unimpressive. Often, instead of doing personal introspection we get disappointed and we try to push through by faking it. Under developed body parts go further neglected. So, we make excuses.

There can be no reason for neglecting portions of our workout with an eye toward explaining away the lack of development. It is said that the first people that will notice our unpreparedness is us. Then it will be our colleagues. Ultimately, our competitors will see our personal dishonesty on full display as they dismantle us on the field of contest.

Bottom Line for all of us, whether it be in bodybuilding or any other endeavor that requires meticulous preparation is that we cannot escape the consequences related to the work we did not do.

As my wife has said to me, “IT IS SO EASY TO DO BUT IT IS ALSO SO EASY NOT TO DO.” I cannot blame anybody but myself if I neglect to do that which is required

We’ve all been around colleagues in the gym that are always anxious to share with us their new found skill or their new “sure fire” way of getting bigger arms or a tighter waist or those gargantuan quads. We are subjected to a non-stop lecture or testimony to the latest and greatest. All this seems to happen as we bend our will to get our workout done and behind us, so we can go home to our wives and our lives.

The reality of our success in the gym and bodybuilding is our ability to keep a low profile, talk little, keep our eyes on the bar and—PUSH!!

I recall my coach, Justin Dees telling me “that people do not care about your time. They will quite easily come over to where you are working and start asking questions, chattering about things without much thought about you. To them, you are the objective. Your attention. They waste your precious workout time and when they are done I/we have lost that time we had set aside for our training. We cannot get that time back.”

The art of self-mastery is gained by trial and error and the constant reshuffling of our priorities. Quiet self-mastery must be developed in the crucible of focused intent, effort, and self-imposed isolation to gain the prize or the designated objective. Bodybuilding requires nothing less than repetitive concentrated explosions aimed at winning. It is never the time to talk about anything. Time is precious. Save your breath! As my brother-in-law used to say about braggarts, “Rave on bullshit! The crows will get you at dawn!”

I say, “be still and know that there is a God.” Let the results of silent work manifest itself to all that will look and know your character. That it is good!

“I’m so glad I’m a part of the family of God….” But as we travel the road of life there are so many things that tug and pull at the fabric of who we are. There are parts of our personalities that once defined us as good and attractive, and competent, and friendly get torn away from us. We do our best to hold onto the good things as we battle the challenges and demons that present themselves to us. Each of us knows the price we pay to be the best we can be and sometimes the price is too high.

These are simple truths but let’s again use bodybuilding as the crucible that I and an entire culture uses to try our souls to be better. At first, like in every area of life, we learn of the challenge and the rewards for participation in bodybuilding. We ruminate on the entry, the planning, the work required and the rewards to be garnered for our effort. Then one day we say to ourselves, “I’m in and the process begins in earnest.” Along the way we find out that nothing is quick and easy. We want things to be faster but the goals and objectives are always out ahead of us. We push harder and harder to be better but nothing is as it seems. But, we press on!

The unfortunate thing we run into is that other people are constantly attempting to undermine your efforts with harsh criticism and belittling and sarcasm. Ouch! All we want to be is better but there it is! Not everybody wants you to succeed. Ouch again! This process isn’t limited to bodybuilding. It’s a universal truth that weak people can only throw rocks from the sideline rather than going about the business of winning themselves in their own worlds.

The danger of all this is that we can lose the spark that makes us who we are. The spark that propels us down roads rarely traveled by others. The spark that has caused us to have many great friends. That spark that is motivated by love for ourselves and a thousand others. At all costs and with great humility we need to exercise self-mastery in such a way that we are motivated to continue and be protected from the harshness of the world. We were not made to be static objects. We are dynamic warriors marked by God and energized for goodness toward ourselves and everyone we meet.

In closing just know that when your spirit is crushed no good thing can be realized. When the spark that ignites you is present all things are possible. This is the spark that makes you YOU!