Author: Doug Graham

All of us who have competed as athletes can recall a time or two when we faced off with our opponent (wrestling or track or football) and we got a quick glance at his/her eyes. We could tell instantly whether they were afraid, determined, or unsure of themselves. In a micro millisecond we had the situation sized up. Conversely, our opponent also gets a look at our “inner warrior” directly through our eyes. My only comment here is that we had better be able to flash furry back at him/her. They have to be placed on notice that we own this turf and they will have to kill me to take it.

In bodybuilding there is a tendency to make training a repetitive and emotionless process. We grind, sweat, grunt, flex, pose but in the end we have just gone through the motions. In order to change things from the mundane and get to the next level of effort and excitement we have to have decided where we want to go AND what it will take to get there. Without this mental and soul searching work we will slow down and quit.

Personally, I go to the gym with a chip on my shoulder. I determine to see my workout as a necessary thing to take me to the podium. My first principle is to be quiet. Stay focused. Think about where I want to go and what I want to look like. I talk very little during training (as taught by my recent coach Justin Dees). I think only about the work at hand.

In the end, I have developed an iron will to get what I want. I’m not unpleasant, I am focused and inside my head. Blocking everything else out. At this point if you want to know how bad I want this next show, all you have to do is look deeply into my eyes. Nobody’s home except this soon to be crowned champion. As it says on my site, “You can look good at any age,—-but you got to want it!” My eyes and my face will tell you the rest of the story without words. So shall it be with all of us who want to win more than anything else. Put fire in your soul that your eyes reveal. Ignite a great big pile of “want to” and the rest is history. Now show me how badly you want it!

This is a journey of faith if there ever was one. We all know “THE EVERY MAN’S STORY” and how it’s supposed to end with the man who left home to seek fame and fortune returning with the twins, “FAME AND FORTUNE” accomplished and in tow. But, in the real world we rarely if ever know what the end game looks like. Often, we move forward without even knowing what direction to travel or why. This is reality “on the half shell.”

In bodybuilding as in life we set goals and objectives both in the short run and the long run based on what we currently know. So, we make our selection and off we go. We must remember that there are two phases that I just alluded to. !.) Short term and 2.) Long term.

Short term goals are mostly related to survival and the betterment of our current situation, (food, lodging, clothes, job, family, God etc.). Long term goals focus more on what we want to become ultimately. I consider this phase to be more closely akin to the application of wisdom. Phase one is very hard and is a constant struggle. Phase two requires a real searching of our souls to establish. It’s here that we become the “WHO” that we seek to become.

In bodybuilding it has to do with what we can imagine that is then translated into an image in our minds. Then, we translate all this down to the base level to be constantly on “THE HUNT” for that image. We apply the daily effort to get there and possess that which we seek.

The key to all this is to never quit, be constantly on the hunt for that person we seek. The gym is the crucible. The training is the engine. We must be able to imagine the kind of athlete we want to become. The “HUNT” is a forever activity. Without if we will quit and there is nothing worse than stopping short of becoming the best “WHO” we can become.

Once accomplished: Nobody can take that person “WHO” we become away from us. He/she belongs to us.

To review this little lesson we have to revert back to the days of adolescence when we stood outside the ring or beautiful people. This small band of self appointed entitled brats seemed to always have more of everything. Just name the items we lacked and all that they possessed. More than that, the “in crowd” seemed hell bent on destroying anybody that could not compete with them. We seemed to always be in their cross hairs as targets of derision and scorn. But, the worst is when you became the butt of their jokes and they were glad to see you stumble so they could make fun of you.

But, this was a long time ago. In this world of bodybuilding, especially as we get older some new opponents have arisen. Let’s just call them “the crowd that wants but won’t.”

When you start training there is so much to learn and no results ever show up quickly enough. So, we labor in obscurity trying not to be detected. Then, slowly the body starts to change in new and wonderful ways. It’s no longer so easy to hide the transformation. Schizophrenia takes over. We want to talk about it and wear those cool new clothes and look better. The other side of you says, “hide so I do not get judged.”

The most common comment or refrain from close friends and family goes something like this, “Be careful. We don’t want you to get hurt.” or another one that crashes on the deck of our new boat is, “I don’t know why you need to do that any way?” or the best one is, “You’re always trying to big things so maybe people will like you better.”

Just remember that in a rough and tumble world the green eye monsters of jealousy and envy will be ever present. These monsters, if you listen to them, can derail all that you set out to do. Just be aware and wary.

Finally, know that when you step into the lime light of transformational change in the arena of bodybuilding “the crowd that wants but won’t” are just waiting for you to fail so they can trumpet the words, “I TOLD YOU SO!” This is our time to disappoint their self-projected prediction of your failure. This is our time, not theirs. Disappointment belongs to the critics who possess jealousy and envy as their calling cards.

Take great care of yourselves. Until next time!……Doug

Of course tomorrow is coming and I’ll get around to preparing for tomorrow later. But, how much later? It’s self evident that if you want a different tomorrow you must change what we are doing today. This speak directly to the bodybuilding mindset for sure.

First principles are that we have to decide what we want out of bodybuilding and, by extension, Life. The next step is to make a plan to get us from where we are to where we want to go. The last step is to execute the plan. Everything falls along a continuum and a very rational set of rules. None of this is new nor is it “Rocket Science.”

When we see what is possible for us to become our dreams, aspirations, hopes, and directions change. We have to grasp a basic truth that is right in front of us. “YOU CAN’T BE DIFFERENT AND ATTAIN THAT WHICH WE DESIRE WITHOUT CHANGING WHAT WE ARE AND WHO WE ARE.” As my wife says, “It’s so easy to do but also so easy not to do.” This truth should drive us forward like nothing else. We cannot stay where we are and get that which we desire.

This article is not a “how to article.” It’s an exercise in seeing the obvious.

Bottom Line: IF WE WANT SOMETHING WE CANNOT STAY WHERE WE ARE! WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT WE WANT, MAKE A PLAN TO GET IT, EXECUTE. And! in the process, the person we are now will change and match that person we want to become. These steps will move us to the next level of success and winning.

SO TAKE STOCK! AND GET GOING!

Boy! This truth is so self evident that it’s unnerving. Too often we carry in our pockets a little “get of jail free card” that says, “WHOA! THIS TASK IS SO HARD SO IT’S TIME TO GIVE IT UP!” Not today PILGRIM! Simple solution to anything that seems like it’s too hard is to “GET IT DONE”—despite how hard it is.

Remember how we started bodybuilding? We got alone and committed ourselves to pushing forward and not looking back. It was a “Holy Vow” to do the work and let yesterday remain as yesterday. Some of us kept our “get out of jail free card” at the ready just in case we should need an excuse to lower our standards or to quit. I’m here to say again, “Not today PILGRIM!

Today when you are pushing through your training and you get to a point that seems insurmountable I would suggest two things: 1.) Get some help from a colleague if you need a spot or 2.) If finishing well is the problem, block out any distractions and dig deep and finish. The last thing we need is to quit once and then twice then a third time thus establishing a habit of sub par performance.

Key Concept: When bad habits occur the first people to notice is 1.) You 2.) Your team or your colleagues in the gym 3.) The last to notice are your competitors….(This is where you will pay the ultimate price). You will get buried and you will lose respect from others and yourself.

Bottom Line: Never think about quitting! Keep your “get out of jail free card” in your pocket or destroy it. Remember that nobody beats you….That only happens because you defeat yourself. Until next time! I remain, Douglas E. Graham—Your colleague and your brother in iron.

Nobody in their right mind would ask for a “hard battle” just to prove he could take it and win. I submit that nearly all men would want a victory by doing nothing. But then, in the process or zeal to avoid conflict and pain we inadvertently surrender many benefits that would accrue to us if we had to go through a “hard battle.” But, what do we know?!!!

Let’s define ourselves as average (soldiers) body builders just living our lives. God says to himself, “I need to win this battle and I need tough soldiers (body builders) to do it.” God already knows how hard the battle is going to be and he also knows who his toughest soldiers (body builders) are and he has a pretty good idea of their abilities and their ability to suffer and win. But, God needs to develop more tough soldiers. So, he calls many younger and less experienced soldiers (body builders) to the task. In order for these young soldiers (body builders) to emerge as tough soldiers they have to be thrown into the harshest of battles to develop their toughest qualities.

Without spending any more time on this concept, suffice it to be said that, Tough soldiers (body builders) are forged in the fires of trials and tough battles. We who train know that there is no shortcut to winning. We also know that the toughness required is attained by exposing ourselves, mentally, physically, and emotionally to the process. We have to have the attitude that we have been chosen to be tried and perfected by constant trial. There just is no other way to do it.

The analogy doesn’t quite work but the concept of being toughened by tough trials is sound. I would suggest that we “willingly” submit ourselves to the tough task that changes us into WARRIORS that can win because we “willingly” paid the price.

Remember! Tough Battles Produce Tough Soldiers—Accept it and do it!

I believe this with all my heart. You see, before I start anything new I have to spend a considerable amount of time thinking about whether the goal is worth the effort to pursue. I wholeheartedly recommend that before a person decides to do bodybuilding seriously that they get alone and try to resolve in their own hearts that this journey is worth it. Next step is to determine that looking back is forbidden because it is counter productive. There’s a reason why Lot’s wife was told not to look back toward Sodom and Gomorrah. Sure, she was turned to a pillar of salt but the underlying principle was/is don’t look back and “long for” the good old days when life was so easy and unchallenging. This new adventure is hard but it holds some of the richest lessons and rewards a person can reap from the effort. The next little item is to put together a plan and get organized. Nothing happens by accident and nobody is going to do it for you. At this point, getting a coach or a trainer is vital to putting it all together in a directed fashion.

Now, the question is still on the table regarding obstacles that we must face to help us decide whether it (bodybuilding or any other endeavor is worth it). Most obstacles fall into two categories: 1.) Want to or Willing to. 2.) Physical limitations. My experience has taught me that almost all failures or successes begin with with a “gut check” to establish how badly we want it. That time alone is where this occurs. We have to start with a great big gut full of want to. A Phd is long, hard, psychologically taxing and sometimes seemingly unattainable. When you want to quit is when you reach deep to see how badly you want it. Bodybuilding is no different. Pain, injuries, discouragement, disillusionment, impatience can steal your progress and threaten winning. Nothing matters if you cannot get by these “obstacles” that will certainly present themselves. Now is not the time to look back. Lower your head, concentrate, and figure out what it will take to go on to the goal.

As noted, physical limitations pretty much precludes any further consideration to continue in bodybuilding sometimes. Old injuries, blindness, paralysis, disease all can alter a person’s “want to” in a big way. This is not to say there aren’t things and goals that can’t be reached for anybody with physical limitations. This group must carefully select their ultimate goals within the confines of their limitations. That’s all! The same process of determining that what is desired is worth it applies. The journey is just different in ways that we who have fewer physical limitations cannot even begin to imagine.

Bottom Line: The biggest hurdle to overcoming obstacles to attain greatness in our lives is found in the beginning as we evaluate how much “want to” is required to attain the goals we reach for. Physical limitations are real but cannot be allowed to eliminate us from life. Goals have to change but the overcoming of obstacles is paramount to success.

Get a goal. Get a large load of “want to.” Never look back. Press on to the goal. This is our time. Choose wisely and burn brightly to overcome and win.

This is a principle/concept that makes me fear extreme effort! Muhammad Ali was asked once how many crunches he did. He said, “I don’t know. I only start counting after it starts to hurt!” Ouch! Most of us are meticulously attached to counting and recording everything so we can be precise about our workload. I submit that it’s a personal character trait that sets the standard, not the calculator. Oh, it’s good to know what you’ve done because it establishes objectively what we are doing. There’s no moral judgment against doing it this way. What we have to fix in our mind is that connection between our mind and our body so we know intuitively that we are doing enough and exceeding the requirement to grow.

In any case, whatever tool or mindset we use to establish what we have accomplished, we have to construct the next level beyond the best workout. This NETHER LAND is where character and real growth occurs. It’s a world that most mere mortals only talk about as LORE. They have heard about it but they don’t know how to get there and thus have never visited. We crazy bodybuilders are always trying to get to the world beyond basic effort and then linger there. We never want it to end.

For the sake of description, let’s call this world the “LAND OF PERSEVERANCE.” This is a land where a bodybuilder or other mere mortals goes to stretch themselves, pound themselves to be better, to be forged into a champion. So, when you are done training or working and you want to go home, don’t. Get a drink and do more. It’s the PERSEVERANCE that leads to unequaled and sometimes unanticipated success.

Lastly, when you PERSEVERE and you win, nobody can take your self-defined victory away from you. Success has many definitions but PERSEVERANCE is always required to be the best you. Always do more! ….. That’s where the gold is.

“YOU CAN LOOK GOOD AT ANY AGE—BUT YOU GOT TO WANT IT”….Doug Graham, http://www.sixpackandsenior.com

This is my “Life Condition” at any given time. But, basically I am a very impatient person especially when I feel forgotten, am disqualified for physical or financial reasons, or I feel like I’m being left behind and that I must catch up! When I feel like I have to get out there and hustle to keep up or to win I demonstrate the worst sort of patience. I’m short with people, I don’t sleep well, I’m constantly on edge and (like my wife says—I am always grumpy). Nothing is right especially if the net results of bad things is that I am to become a self loathing pauper. This end state is the worst possible outcome.

By contrast, I know that if I had a strong, sweet spirit that could sail through the day with a smile, graciously tossing rose petals to all those I encounter I would attract goodness from those that love me. Unfortunately, this condition is a myth. I am ashamed that I’m not a good person when I have nothing. Especially, when I also know it’s my fault. By my own admission I am defined by badness when I am losing and my patience is worn thin. But, I know that I can do better. This is when I listen to my wife and I try to be more patient better.

In bodybuilding you know objectively and subjectively that you are either on track or not on track. It behooves me to turn my ugliness into a planned, purposeful, assault on being more than I am–on time.

Conversely there have been times when all things are going well and my attitude is that I am mightier than I really am. I am so self vaunted. I think I’m so good I can’t be beaten. I am insufferable, and nobody can approach me the king. Again, winning is a great goal and when it happens we have to adjust our attitude to be gracious to those that did not win. My, how we forget so quickly what it felt like to be envious and wounded because you did not win. Attitude is about graciousness and focus on being better in the present and next time. Bodybuilding will bring all this out in us in living color.

In summary: 1.) When you are down I/we have to develop patience and consistency to go the distance. Waiting on God to do his work through us is a time honored difficulty for us mere mortals. However, in order to stay in the game when you are not doing so well is essential. 2.) When I/we win we have to define our existence now with our responses to the greatest glory at the time. This attitude that permeates us at the time of winning must extend itself to our own hearts and to those who love and respect us. We have to be better especially when much belongs to us after winning.

So! Be patient when we have very little and secondly develop an attractive yet competitive personality when we win. Each of these stations in life will provide a definition of our character. Pay attention! These things make us who we are when things are bad and who we will become when things are great.

This seems to be obvious but it’s not! If we all took a step back and reflected on the many times we took a different path rather than sticking to the one we were on, I’m betting that we changed directions because we gave up on something. We concluded that the effort was just “TOO HARD” Now, this is not a moral judgment or moment of great criticism, it’s just the truth.

From the time we were kids we learned from our parents, brothers and sisters,, coaches, and teachers that in order to win we have to make the necessary sacrifice. We have to put in the time, practice, and invest ourselves in order to attain the goal.

But, somewhere in the equation we learned to quit when the DISCOMFORT METER NEEDLE went into the “RED ZONE.” So, we take our eyes off the prize, we focus on the pain we are enduring, and we decide to stop—-because we deemed the process too hard. As a result, our goal or trophy or degree, or my focus on my affection (girl) slipped away.

What nobody educated us about was the scars of regret, loss, sadness, defeatism, and sometimes great depression that results when we quit because we decided that the challenge was too hard. Ultimately, we learn to quit and then to blame others for our lack of follow through. We ignore all the consequences of our dereliction of personal responsibility to ourselves and others and we redirect the cause onto others.

The admonition to never give up just because things got “TOO HARD” can’t be overemphasized. Bodybuilding brings out the qualities of laziness, unbelief in ourselves, arrogance, and the acute lack of courage to press on despite the hardness of the journey. We are totally exposed as character frauds if we preach one thing and do another.

In closing: We have to learn that just because something is hard does not mean that we automatically give up. We just can’t allow each other the luxury of doing less than our best. We have to look out for one another and be sure we are “FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT” even when it’s hard. Until next time!.…Doug