Author: Doug Graham

I discovered this little nugget of “MEGA TRUTH” as I trained. When I started training hard later in life in 2008 I reverted back to same old ways of training that we all adopted when we were young. Basic mindset was: 1.) You Eat Big and Lift Big to Get Big 2.) Then to get lean you have to cut, the food and the heavy weights. Basic truths when you are 16 and stupid. But, there I was plugging in the same mistakes as always. Now, I did get big and I got really strong, but I gained tons of fat, big stomach, I developed high blood pressure, reflux esophagitis and I slept horribly. After about a year of this misery I decided to try something totally different. I dropped the weight on the bar and began adding small increments of weight with each set. I did dozens of sets per body part with each set getting only little heavier. I switched body parts daily so as not to overtrain any muscle group. Slowly, I began to change. I looked forward to my training to keep pushing the weight and the volume each day. Over the next few months I dropped 20 lbs and started to look the part of a bodybuilder—-not a fat ass!

My goals have been boiled down to each workout with a small incremental uptick in my weight on the bar, number of sets completed, and noted endurance. Over the next several months I headed for the stage as an old guy. I’ve been doing it ever since and I just finished my 21st show. I have gotten better at this sport by 1.) Staying motivated 2.) Pushing to be just a “little better” with each workout 3.) Never losing sight of my next goal. I settle for small gain that are either noticeable visually or measurable. I now win because my 1% improvements and consistency. Nothing gets done simply by thinking that it will happen. I have to make it happen and it’s hard, lonely, and exhausting but it is satisfying.

Bodybuilding only has two major mindsets: 1.) Motivation 2.) Discipline. All the rest are supporting actors over the long haul as we push for the stage and the win. Very few people who see us understands the journey and the effort. For sure, it belongs only us who do the journey.

Bottom Line: Shoot for small improvements daily. They will add up to a large improvement that will take you to the “WINNERS CIRCLE.”

The formula is: 1% improvement daily x 365 days = a 365% improvement in a year. You can’t argue with the facts

I have been told that if I can imagine a thing I can have it. It just doesn’t appear, but it has to be worked for, sacrificed for, and maybe even I give something up to have it. Nonetheless, my mind and fertile imagination has formed the bedrock of all I attain. What a ride this has been! I was born with enough energy for 7 people and so sitting still and meditating on my navel lint is out of the question. In fact, when I’m in church my poor wife has to distract me enough so I stay put the entire service. Not an easy task….I figure, God is good, but I’ve got things to do…..Just one decision shy of being an apostate and a heathen. Fortunately, I get to redeem myself by serving in the the nursery….(kids under 3 years old). I’m a little kid so we get along with these little guys and girls just fine.

In bodybuilding, our full attention to every detail is important. Our lives are pretty much a programmed text regarding food, training, cardio, supplements, posing and competing. There is not much wriggle room to live a frivolous life. Sun up to sun down we are busy applying ourselves to what we have determine to have….Usually, a very high finish on stage. The journey for us is always a joy but there are times when getting the most out of our training and prep is all but impossible due to exhaustion, hunger, discouragement, and work. It is at this point when the only thing we have to finish the trek to the stage is the courage of our heart. This is easier said than done.

Think about it! We apply every strategy in the book and nothing works. However, the date of the show does not change and something has to be done. It’s here that we must face ourselves and decide that our stated goal is worth it. This little interlude is applicable to everything in life that we decide to go after. It’s not that we are incapable it’s usually because something has caused us to doubt ourselves and whether we can make it to the finish. Again, the courage of the heart and a keen focus on the task at hand is often all we have left. We dig deep. We spend time praying. We do as much extra work as we think we need. It’s as if we become another person and we are introduced to this person by our circumstances. Go! is always a Go so we Go!

Bottom Line: What our minds have decided for us is never enough. If it’s worth it, the courage of our heart will carry us home. Remember that just thinking about what you want is never enough.

MAXIM FOR THE AGES

This whole idea can be summarized by a quote from Jim Elliott in a book written by his late wife Elizabeth, “Through Gates of Splendor” which was based on his time as a Missionary in Ecuador. “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” I would highly recommend reading this book to gain a little perspective on life, bodybuilding, and the eternal.

In bodybuilding there is nothing that we suffer, plan for, endure, work for, or achieve that can be measured by money. All that we do has meaning and value in an intangible sphere. I don’t know anybody in this sport that even considered what the monetary price of a win or a high placing would be. I’ve never met a fellow competitor backstage or after the show who ever spoke of money connected to the stage. This sport, “my fine feathered friends” is about accomplishing your personal best without conventional financial incentives. Let me say it loudly, “its all about personal ego, pride, and the journey to be the best THIS TIME!” Each time we go onto the stage we are looking only to be better than the last time. Being better with every outing is it’s own reward. Nobody pays us to do this stuff. In fact, most bodybuilders expend tremendous amounts of money out of their own pockets just to train and compete.

I would submit that we are the richest people in the world because all that we have cannot be purchased with money. So, you see, we muscle heads start out rich and we remain rich because nothing we have is for sale nor can it be purchased. “We are no fools because that which we gain can never be taken away.” —-Nor can anybody buy it from us! But to be faithful to the eternal, “He is not fool who gives hat he cannot keep (his own life) to gain that which he cannot lose (our souls and eternal life).

Bottom Line: Decide what’s important and never give it away. It belongs to you because you earned it. However, along the way you’re going to have to also decide what is expendable and that which is permanent.

It was hard growing up with a host of voices who seemed to be absolutely certain of my future—if I would just listen to them! I have a mantra that I sort of live by and it goes like this: “DON’T LISTEN TO CLOSE FRIENDS, RELATIVES AND KNUCKLEHEADS” when you seek advice. Inevitably, I have regretted listening and heeding their advice. It doesn’t mean that the advice they extended to me was bad, it just wasn’t the advice I needed at the time. Sometimes what we needed most was a listening ear and a tender heart. Other times I needed to be put in my place for being so stupid. Other times I just needed a pep talk to embolden me to act on what I knew to be true.

In every encounter the price we pay for “the greatest advice on earth” is that we are obligated to actually follow it, succeed by using it, and then bending the knee to the advisor and saying thank you. None of this is bad and in fact it is good form but I was then tied to the expectations that the advisor had for me. In the end, I was not seeking my dream or goal but rather I was servicing a debt. I was not free.

Addressing the reality of getting older and living up to my own expectations has led me to do things that my family and others who are close to me to believe the worst. Bodybuilding at my age is needless, risky, a waste of time, and I’m living out a fantasy from my childhood, I will fail because I’m no young any more, there is fear that many others will make fun of me and will view my performance as a freak show and they will be embarrassed.

At this age I have nobody to prove anything to. I have nobody except me to please. I set my standards quite independent of what others think. It has been alleged that I need to be accepted and that’s why I’m always doing “big things.” Also, it has been said that I would be more favorably seen and that is why I push for grand and magnificent goals and accomplishments. All this is bogus but it is a lie that they tell themselves so they can understand and relate to what I’m doing. It helps them to bring me back to their level without understanding, or personal confrontation. In my world a simple comment would be, “way to go Doug!” “you look great little brother.” “Go for it! We’re rooting for you.” My critics no longer own me, my thoughts, my plans, my efforts. These are mine and I’m free.

Bottom Line: When expectations about bodybuilding or anything else comes to you as an imposition from others, we have to reject them. Bodybuilding has given me that which I did not have—-COURAGE TO BE ME ALL BY MYSELF! There is no requirement that anybody understands us at all. Win, Lose or Draw—it’s what I do and nobody else has to understand! This is our time. Don’t confuse it with other peoples time.

We face the wrath of quitting on ourselves every minute of every day. Like somebody said, “99% of our effort is getting ourselves into the right frame of mind or mood to win”. As a consequence, I/we are always wondering whether we can or will attack, stay on the path and win. Each time we put on our gym clothes and head for the gym we have to dig deep and re establish the reason why we do what we do. As a consequence we want it all “right now.” We think that if we are going to be our best we have to get their fast, make refinements and press on. But, in the real world nothing comes to us fast — if it’s worth having. We have to buy into the idea that in order to be great we have to pay the price, walk the path, and never look back. The reality that quitting is never an option has to burn itself into our hearts and minds. There seems to be a notion that if we “take a break” and reduce our efforts to “just maintaining” we will come roaring back with new energy, focus, motivation and drive. But it never happens that way. Slowing down to “take a break to maintain” is usually a euphemism for quitting. It is a pretext for surrender and personal failure. Don’t do it!

Bodybuilding and life both teach us that pursuing a passion and a goal takes all of us. We may do things differently or change our approach but we know intuitively that forgetting what it takes reduces us to the world of quitting. No rapid “DO OVER” will make it happen faster. It will only be a down payment on our quitting and our eventual failure.

Bottom Line: Don’t lie to yourself! Keep going. No stopping. No resting. No restructuring while stopping your pursuit of excellence. It’s a slow process but causing a slowdown in order to go faster is absurd. Stay the course even when it’s slow, boring, and seemingly meaningless. Finish what you started —-don’t quit!

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Boy! If there’s anything that we learn in bodybuilding, sports or academics, or military service is that “NOTHING” worth doing or that is necessary to be done is “EASY!” It reminds of the recent quote from President Zelensky of the Ukraine. We offered to evacuate the President in the early days of the Russian invasion and President Zelensky replied, “I DON’T WANT A RIDE, I NEED AMMUNITION!” This attitude of having a “line in the sand” is what pushes us to do the hard things because it is necessary to advance. President Zelensky only saw what was “POSSIBLE” and knew it was not going to be “EASY.”

In bodybuilding we have to be willing to see what our next goal and then forge a plan to get there. We know from experience that there will be a ton of work but sometimes the stage and the next level seem to be too big for us. It is at this moment that we should change our hearts and minds from, I see it and I will wait to see if I really want it to—all I need is a window of opportunity to gain what is “POSSIBLE.” We already know it’s going to be hard. We just have to ‘decide’ it’s worth and that becomes our next objective.

In the military at any level, we never believe anything or anybody who presents a mission or an assignment as “a piece of cake.” Again, it’s never easy but we have already accepted this premise. In combat we hear or read about soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines that face challenges that threaten their survival or the accomplishment of a mission. Believe me as a retired Lt Col, USAF that our guys only ask where the threat is and then they run toward the canon fire. These guys didn’t sign up for “EASY” they signed up to do that which is necessary and ‘POSSIBLE.” These are our fighting men and women in uniform.

In our daily lives too often we are reactionary in our existence. We do that which is required as assigned by our spouses, required by our children, or our bosses. We are so busy doing somebody else’s bidding that we don’t take care of ourselves physically, psychologically, or spiritually. When we get our arms around this reality is here that we must decide to proactively go after that next item of accomplishment. We already know it’s not “EASY” and all we really want to know is that our goal is “POSSIBLE”—We’ll do the rest. Nothing is more satisfying than to decide for yourself what is “POSSIBLE” and doing it. In the world nothing is “EASY” so I urge none of us to accept this universal lie.

In closing! If you want something—go for it! Just know that it will not be“EASY” but only you can accomplish that which is “POSSIBLE”—Best to you always!

BODYBUILDERS! THE STAGE AWAITS YOUR ASSAULT!

by Doug Graham

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How many of us has done something really stupid that paralyzes our growth or progress? Probably everyone of us. The things that cause these retardations of movement forward can be physically, spiritually, or emotionally.

In bodybuilding I like to say that we should not listen to close friends, relatives, or knuckleheads when advice is needed. Often we find ourselves struggling with some new exercise or personal discipline to be better. We pour ourselves into it but the new thing is not helping as we imagined or we are just doing it wrong. This is where a coach is needed or a trusted training partner. With some minor adjustments we are off and running. Sometimes we think we know more than we do and we continue doing the same thing with the same results which makes us ignorant or stupid. Often the latter. There are times when we are working through a new regimen and it just doesn’t feel right but we continue until —- BANG!! There is a terrible shredding sound or snap accompanied by a pain that we have never experienced before. Just like that, our arm becomes lifeless and our shoulder or elbow or biceps ceases to function. We dangle our extremity and move off the gym floor to the locker room. That night is horrible and we eat more Motrin than we ever have before. The next day we are seeing a physician to help us determine the amount of damage done.

It is here that we begin the road back. We make no excuses. We blame nobody else but ourselves. We “IN SILENCE” and quietly “take the pain.” Being on track we do not display the hurt we feel.

Then, rehab begins. We are not at our best so our pride pushes us to be better before we go back to the gym. We do what we are told to get better. We take the drugs. We slowly start training again, all out of the public’s eye. We ask nothing from anybody but we demand much of ourselves—-“IN PRIVATE”

One day we venture back to gym feeling we have come far enough to not embarrass ourselves. We start slowly and before we know it we are back on track. Lesson learned and indelibly written on our minds. We turn to the stage and begin the journey back with a determination to shine again despite our setback. The path has been followed and now we are ready again to be our best —“TO SHINE IN PUBLIC—AGAIN!”

We can hurt ourselves spiritually or emotionally by violating basic truths that make us who we are. The damage is just as real and just as capable of sidelining us as a physical injury can. It hollows us our until we are incapable of motivating ourselves to win. We wallow in self-pity and loneliness until a good friend or pastor or bishop comes along and we lay it all on the table. This is the point when the hurting in private stops. Healing begins and nobody else has to know but you. We do the hard work of restoring the truth that was violated or tossed aside. One day, we get back on the horse and never look back. Being stupid is an event—not a life sentence!

Let me end by saying that anything can derail us. But, only we can keep us off track. We have the choice to stay defeated or injured or figure out a way to put it behind us. We truly are “The Captains of Our Own Ships.” ACT LIKE IT!

I was told once by one of my football coaches, “Dougie! You’ve got to play big!” Well, that little phrase that was screamed at me during a game on the sideline caused me to elevate my game to a new ferocious high. I’ve never been big except in my legs and upper body so for him to say that was a bit of irony. I’d been performing by just going through the motions and he needed more out of me. So, he dressed me down. I went back onto the field with death in my eyes. True story! By halftime I had 18 tackles and had blocked a punt. Even for me this was a major turnaround. Secret to changing my trajectory was “ATTITUDE.” Sure, it took a coach to insert it into my psyche but it was a change in ATTITUDE nonetheless.

There isn’t a colleague in bodybuilding that I know who has won or done something great without a definite attitude adjustment. Focus on what makes you tick. What makes you better. What makes you invincible on your way to accomplishment. Do not lower your attitudes’ expectations —“EVER!” In a spiritual sense remember that during the last week of his life Jesus, “SET HIS FACE LIKE FLINT TOWARD JERUSALEM.” He knew where he needed to be and at what time.

In another sense, we cannot live below the level of mediocrity and also expect great things. When we are in pursuit of a goal, a championship, a medal, a degree, or our wives we cannot turn in a lackluster performance. Put the “CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER” and dare any person to take it away. Push when there is no more push.

Prepare to win by first, “ADJUSTING YOUR ATTITUDE!” Feed on it! Everything after this depends on it.

In closing, “PLAY BIG!”

ALWAYS PLAY BIG WITH A BIGGER THAN LIFE ATTITUDE

We’ve all taken long walks outside in a storm and we felt the power of the wind, rain, and the thunder clapping and the lightning. The walk was something that rejuvenates us and puts us back in touch with the eternal. It makes us aware that our lives are like this walk in the storm. It’s ours and nobody can make the walk for us. We set the course and we walk. Most of the time we walk alone. The voices that are so familiar to us just are not there. We walk focusing on the “still small voice” that guides and directs us. It’s only us.

In bodybuilding. as in life, we are given advice by leaders, coaches, teachers, family members, and of course close friends. But, in the end we are responsible for what we do with any or all of the great input. Again, we are alone to decide and to act. When I hit the gym to train I try to remember what my coach has told me. Each syllable of his instructions is rehearsed and the proper movements executed. Nobody does it for me.

As we head for the stage all of us “muscle heads” are surrounded by well wishers but we ignore it all and we make our way to the stage “alone” to execute all we know to bring in a great performance. I do it “alone.”

The power we learn to harness while being alone can never be taken away. The lessons belong to us because we learned them alone. This power is the backbone of all things good in our lives. In silence and solitude we are in touch with ourselves and God.

Bottom Line: Learn to be alone. It is here that the power of your life and all you seek to accomplish is centered. I am better for having walked alone and so it is with all of us who dare to be alone to learn. Lastly, to be the best we have to understand that nobody besides us does the work. There is no loneliness for it is the classroom of individual focus.

How many times in our lives have we thought, “I have arrived!” or we say to ourselves, “It doesn’t get any better than this!” or my favorite, “There are no more interesting challenges!” So, we settle in to live our remaining days rolling in the clover of self congratulations. Wow! Probably not too many of us have had this sort of luxury. Most of us when we settle at a particular level, we do so because of feelings of inferiority or helplessness or discouragement. We begin to look and feel defeated and without hope. Thus, we do nothing to improve our lot.

When we are buried self loathing and defeat, we bodybuilders start to train with no enthusiasm. We train mechanically while lacking the extra part of us to do better. We go through the motions and maybe we even start missing workouts. We are stuck because we have decided that we cannot do any better on stage, thus we play “NOT TO LOSE—SO BADLY.” OUCH!

At the other end of the spectrum, maybe we have had a string of successes and we feel that anything we do will bring only more success. We don’t train as hard because we are so self-deluded into thinking that we are so good that we “have arrived.”

Each of these scenarios has to change or we will never improve toward our true potential. ENTER THE DRAGON OF HORRIFYING DISRUPTION AND DEFEAT!” It’s going to happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. The DRAGON will destroy our world of negativism or arrogance in a heartbeat. We have to respond well to this change or we will be stifled and we will step off the track to success.

This DRAGON will take the form of divorce, illness to you or a loved one, or worse, the death of a loved one, kids rebelling and finding their way to drug use, teen pregnancy etc. These DRAGONS can reduce us all to non participants in life or in many of our lives, bodybuilding.

The key thought in all this is, “HOW DO WE RESPOND TO UNANTICIPATED BAD EVENTS (DRAGONS)?” I submit that anything that causes us to lose our focus will kill us “in place.” Anything that drives us out of our place of settling will make us stronger and more determined to never return to the place where all life is gone.

Bottom Line!! A storm is coming, the likes of which we have never seen. That storm will disrupt our place of retreat or comfort. Because of the storm we will become champions and/or captains of our own ship of glory or fate. Look for it and be ready to travel to greater heights. The stage awaits!