Author: Doug Graham

Initially, I cringed at these words. Mainly, because all of us who are gym rats and competitors like to espouse the sacrosanct position of “MOTIVATION“ in our bodybuilding lexicon of sought after tools and virtues. Everywhere we go we discuss the things that make us better at our craft. Inevitably “MOTIVATION” is tossed on the table for analysis. We look at it from every angle. We turn it over. We turn it upside down. We consider the source of “MOTIVATION“ and why it pushes us to do the hard stuff and to be better.

Dictionary definition of “MOTIVATION” — the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way: FOR EXAMPLE: escape can be a strong “MOTIVATION” for travel. • OR: the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

“MOTIVATION” in my opinion is anything or anybody who can serve as a defining inspiration or reason to begin or to pursue and endeavor.

We are always on the hunt for the thing that will “MOTIVATE” us to engage in training. To push us to new levels of success. For some it’s a picture of a great bodybuilder. A slogan. A special Proverb. A story etc.

However, our character is found in our “DEDICATION” to our craft. We have to dig deep and the strength and the power to keep going and to execute comes from our personal “DEDICATION.”. Remember that before we started down. this road we got tons of time alone to decide whether we wanted this road or not and we decided that we did want this path. This heartfelt commitment resulted in our “DEDICATION” which is and has been unwavering. “MOTIVATION” should never been needed. We do it because we are “DEDICATED” to the path that leads to improvement resulting in victory on stage.

Let’s keep things in perspective. “MOTIVATION” is a short term fix it is no substitute for the core quality called, “DEDICATION.” This is the bedrock of all forward progress and victory! Never forget this basic truth!

STAY THE COURSE AND LET YOUR DEDICATION BE THE PRIMARY MOTIVATOR

This is essential to growth—–We don’t need and audience, we need focus in solitude to think, pray, and work!

I absolutely hate being alone with myself, my thoughts, and my reflections. It’s a scary thing to come face-to-face with yourself. That person who has been you all your life. Who has seen your miserable failures and your grandest victories. That person who knows every nano-particle of truth that you are made of. When we do face ourselves we have to understand that there is a way to succeed despite all that we have done badly that cause all the guilt and shame we carry. In order to succeed we have to know that there is another side of you that is good and longs to win. I submit that bodybuilding, like Bible Study is daily and it requires a total rewiring of our thought presses and a change of our mindset. It happens very slowly but only I/we can do the work.

Napoleon Hill asserts this:

“Remember, too that all who succeed in life get off to a bad start, and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they “ARRIVE.” The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at some moment of crisis, through which they/we are introduced to their/our “OTHER SELVES.”

Broadly and generally speaking this is a truism that must be understood. The key component is what we do with this “OTHER SELF” when he/she is introduced to us.

In bodybuilding, the greatest crisis we can face is to decide that we really want this life, these goals, these moments of absolute pain, sacrifice, sweat, and most of all doing it alone. During a crisis we can have all the right motivators around us with all the best arguments for us to go forward. But, we don’t hear them because of our current crisis. Then, when the lights go down and the friends all fade away, we are all alone and we have to decide to either quit or to move forward. Bodybuilding with the help of God helps to refine us in the fire of isolation and uncertainty. It is here the we must face our “OTHER SELF” the person that will carry us forward, that will shed the baggage of laziness, non focus, doubt, fear, and the unholy decision to QUIT. Another great quote I got recently says, “If you think the price you have to pay to reach your goal is to high—Wait for the price you will be required to pay for Regret.”

Bottom Line: Get alone. Face the bad person down. Be willing to see and be introduced to the ‘OTHER SELF” that will transform you into a winner. Never! Be afraid of being alone. In your solitude and quietness you will discover that great “OTHER SELF” that you never met before. He/she because of God will lift you and drive you to your “BEST SELF!”

NOW GO WIN AND NEVER LOOK BACK!

Ain’t it the truth! Often in our lives we take off in a direction, hell bent on winning or getting someplace fast. We fight, we plan, we sweat, we are happy, we are sad but forward we go with quitting as a non option. Somewhere along the way we lift up our heads and we look around and we realize that all of our friends, family and colleagues are nowhere to be found. Actually, we are all alone on this quest. It is here that we have two choices. 1.) Quit because we become afraid and we don’t have a cheering section or even company. In short the realization that being alone is the norm. Nobody will rescue us or talk to us in any meaningful way to keep us going. 2.) Embrace the challenge because it’s just part of the journey. We come to the conclusion that fair weather friends, family and colleagues are not needed. Essentially, our own person becomes our best friend, our greatest buddy and everything is better now that we have identified the source of our strength which is —- ourselves. We are left with the superb confidence that we have all we need and nobody can give us more.

I remember that Phil Heath gave an interview after winning his last Olympia where he said, “I am so glad to win. Nobody know what it was like to be there in the gym alone at night training in silence.” That’s our road—-Nobody is going to prop us up……I have to depend on myself especially when there is nobody there with me.

Bottom Line: Take help where you can but ultimately learn to become your own best friend and be happy with what you have, who you are, and what you must do to win—-alone! This is where our supreme comfort comes from. Be there for yourself always. The Cavalry is not coming to save you or to keep your going…… See you backstage, on stage, and on the steps down off the stage. We’ll talk when it’s over.

Sometimes when I listen to this new generation of people growing up around us, I get the distinct impression that they have no real idea of what work and accomplishment looks like. Everything is a smug truth whether it’s true or not. The basic fact of all things in life is that having anything to love, to hold, to value, to use, to keep safe involves tons of effort and sacrifice. Like I tell my wife all the time, “If it’s worth loving then it is worth working for and fighting for to get it and to keep it safe.” If it costs me nothing to have then I probably do not value the person or the item very much.

In bodybuilding we all go to the gym and we see the “fair weather” lifters and “ego driven personalities in the midst of their admiring groupies.” Each loves to be seen but usually none of them likes the out of sight and behind the scenes training sessions that are required to excel.

All wishful thinking in the gym results in nothing more than self-deception and NO RESULTS. All of us must stop day dreaming and become visionaries with a plan and a purpose. Hard work doing extra sets, adding more weight at key times, training with intent, disappearing inside our heads to the music, knowing we can do better and then doing it. As they say, “the results will come out in the wash.”

Nobody sees any of this. We are alone with ourselves and our visions and our purpose. We never forget what we are doing and why.

In closing let me just say this. “IF IT’S WORTH HAVING, IT’S WORTH WORKING FOR—INVISIBLY, ALONE, AND QUIETLY.” The best to all of “us” who have learned this lesson. See you at the top!

Doing anything new is a “PAIN!” We all know it and we avoid breaking out of our comfort zones at all costs. But, there are times when trying a new approach to solve a problem or to accomplish a goal is required because all we have tried up to this point has been a collection of failures. So, we have concluded that in order to survive or to win we have to try something new.

We retreat, we think, we play out in our heads what needs to be done and why. Each plan is loaded with opportunities to fail. But, we know that something has to be tried. Finally, we settle on the plan that we will follow to win. We are not sure how it will end but we will give it a try.

In bodybuilding we put the goal out in front of us. Often, the goal is so big or so different we are not sure what to do. We rework our many plans and off we go. We change the number of reps on selected exercises. We increase the weights we are using. We increase the amount of cardio. We eat differently with new rules and new intent. Supplementation is changed. All is aimed at victory. We are willing to go all in on the plan and we are willing to risk it all and fail. Nothing gets in our way. Failure is always the specter that chases us. We want to win and failure is not an option.

Now, the other side of the equation is to do nothing at all. We could just look at what needs to be done and decide to throw in the towel before we get started and do nothing at all. This is where we make all kinds of excuses for ourselves. But! As we discussed in the title to this article. “If we do nothing we guarantee failure.” I call this “MALIGNANT NEGLECT.” We want something or we have to do something and we choose to do nothing thus making failure a certainty.

I would encourage all of us to not quit. But, rather let us come up with a new and different way to get to where we want to go. Never take our eyes off the goal but make adjustments even if the adjustments are uncomfortable, painful, or doubtful that it is the best way to win. But, to do nothing seals failure as our fate. Do the hard stuff until it’s time to change—-and do it!

Do something and run the risk of failure or do nothing and be assured of defeat. You have to be brave sometimes. But NEVER quit!

“Life is “SOOO DAILY!” I heard this quote 45 years ago at a religious conference and it is as true today as it was uttered then. We get up every day and face ourselves, evaluate ourselves, inspect ourselves at every level imaginable. Somewhere, in these moments of introspection we decide we want to be different. We, in fact, want to be better tomorrow. But, the journey to improvement starts immediately. It is defined by “WHAT WE DO ABOUT IT!” Nothing in life is free (unless you are a self-defined professional victim), so knowing this little nugget of truth, we do a couple of things intuitively and reflexively: 1.) We Decide that what we have is unacceptable. 2.) We fill our psyche with a big pile of “WANT TO” 3.) We make a plan to advance on the change that we desire. 4.) We keep our goal before our eyes always (on the refrigerator or your bedroom or bathroom mirror) so we are constantly reminded what we decided to do. 5.) We roll up our sleeves and we go about the business of change. In short! “GET STARTED.”

In bodybuilding we go through precisely the same process to make the changes required to win. “TODAY TRULY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE” —so get it right. Do the things that are required to be better or you will forever be trapped in the world of “TODAY.” Which is to say, we have settled for that which we do not “POSSESS” with no thought of “DOING” anything to get that which we “DESIRE.” If bodybuilders settled then they would be forever losers and what’s the point of exposing ourselves to public derision.

A dear friend of mine pointed out to me this truth, “ALL WE HAVE IS TODAY, BUT YOU HAVE TONS OF POTENTIAL.”—DOUG ANDREWSKI. So, the only thing keeping you and me from the mountain top is what we do!—–SO LET’S DO IT! — See you at the top!

A couple months ago….

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When we were growing up doing sports we were. told to do things over and over again until we got it right. We were also told that this is our goal—to get it right! We worked we slaved, we did the extra foot work, we did the extra take downs, we ran the extra stairs, we spent massive amounts of time in the batting cage. All this helped and our performance rose to new heights. But, in bodybuilding and especially related to posing, we can’t just assume because we did the pose correctly a couple of times. We quickly learn that from one execution of a pose to the next we are not anywhere near perfect or good enough to stand on that stage and perform in front of thousands of people. Our arms are ending up in weird positions. Our shoulders drop during a turn. We flex our traps when we really ought to be presenting a square set of shoulders. We release our legs and they become smooth as we focus on an unrelated body part. Wow! The little things that destroy our ego and our performance are legion. My wife said to me several times after doing turns that my arm came across like it was a noodle. No life, nonchalant, unattached to the effort required to project competence and confidence. Ouch! I think I slept on the floor that night because she hurt my ego and my feelings. In my mind I was doing it right. However, in reality doing it right is only the beginning. A coach told me one time that we play like we practice. This was an eye opener. You can’t just go through the motions. So! Get it right and keep it right! Also, be looking for ways to make it “snap”–bring the crowd to their feet because you project greatness! Get your head into the posing routine and do it each time like it was on stage. Leave nothing to chance. Put on your game face in front of the mirror. Impress you posing coach (in this case, it is my wife). Make your coach believe in you. When you do that you are getting close to being ready. Remember this maxim: “Nobody works harder than you do.” This must become a FACT no just a belief.

Bottom Line: Repetition is key but maximum flawless effort is KING! If we do this we will win under any circumstances. You can never do it wrong is the goal. Neve settle for good when GREATNESS is within reach. It’s always your choice…..

How true is this for us muscle heads? We train like dogs, BS with out buddies in the gym, eat like refugees, we do cardio like long distance runners, we nurse little injuries that threaten to keep us awake for weeks. Best of all, our poor wives watch grown men force themselves to do what we do not want to do when we ought to do it. This is the very definition of discipline—-and they still love us! The miracle of commitment will bear wonderful fruit.

The moral of all this descriptive hyperbole is that very few people have any inclination or idea of what we muscle cretins go through for the world to see as the final product. We all want to be appreciated for the effort we put out to attain things but more often than not the effort is lost out of sight below the waves and below the surface.

Yet! It is the effort that is made totally out of sight that makes us the happiest. When we approach the front doors of the gym or our training area and our excitement piques, our blood pressure surges, our eyes bug out with focus. Our playground of pain, push, and progress is about to be entered. Gone for a couple hours are the things that are so “daily.” Now, is the time to forge that physique we chase so diligently and daily.

We have to decide that we train hard for ourselves and not for the adulation and adoration of the public and our friends. All that is a bonus. Our only competitor is ourselves. There is no compliment in the world that can take the place of our own personal satisfaction we enjoy in the crucible of the gym. People only see the results and nobody ever sees the process required to make the results that others enjoy and admire.

Bottom Line: Be happy with the process for it is here that character, integrity, determination, and victory are chiseled into our minds and hearts. It’s great to be seen but it’s better to be the artisan & mason of all that is good…..Never turn back….The only way to lose your greatness is to engage in what I call, “malignant neglect.” Be a man/woman and win because you can!

On my website my motivating quote is, “You can look good at any age….but you got to want it!” Funny, how this idea that having something requires more than wishful thinking. I’ve put forward the idea that the first thing you have to do before you begin this journey in bodybuilding is to gather a gigantic stock pile of “want to” or you will not even start.

Once again, one of my favorite quotes comes from Hall of Fame College Coach, Bear Bryant from the University of Alabama when he said, “Winning!?, Hell, everybody wants to win, but victory belongs to him that prepares to win.” No matter how you try to play the game or why you play the game, it all comes down to you/me and how badly we want to win. There is no substitute for this seemingly mystical and intangible quality of “want to, that is bolstered by desire and preparation.”

Next up after deciding that bodybuilding and the journey is yours to travel is goal setting and planning. This exercise must take place daily until it becomes ingrained into the person and character that is required. Bodybuilding is tough but so is anything else we set out to attain. Whether it’s a spiritual journey that requires tons of time hearing, studying, memorizing, meditating on the things that will make us better. Other challenges might be our careers, or child rearing, or academics. The exact challenge is irrelevant. What’s essential is that the process begins with “want to!” It ends only when we reach our stated or understood goal.

The gym is our crucible that we use to perfect our craft. It teaches us the subtleties that make us better at what we do. Preparation is essential on the heels of “want to” is the only one-two-punch that is required. If there is a better formula that disallows cutting corners then please put it forward or all of us to see and ponder.

Never look back. I remember a story about the great miler Glenn Cunningham whose legs were burned so severely in a freak accident starting a wood stove as a kid that the doctors said he would never walk again. As soon as he could be on his feet after the accident he began to run everywhere he went. Living in the country he covered dozens of miles sometimes in a day going from place to place. When he was just a freshman he discovered the track team working out. He took off as a heat started up around the track. He had heavy boots on and he ran on the outside of the track on the grass just to see if he could keep up. He won by a quarter track. He made the track team. His coach told him to never look back during a race because that is precisely when his opponent would pass him. Years later when he was running in the Olympics against the world renowned miler Roger Banister it began to rain. During the race Glenn could feel the splashing of the water from the track on his legs. He feared Banister was about to pass him but he dared not look back. Instead he poured it on and killed Banister in the mile. All because he was told that looking back would allow his opponent to pass him. Fear of being overtaken should drive us all to do better, never look back and win.

Bottom line: Sometimes we don’t really know how bad we want something until we are faced with the challenge in front of us. It is here that our “want to” merges with our discipline to “never look back.” Create the “want to” because nobody can do it for you.

Well! Fighting alone is, in my opinion, the only way to fight. Sure there are military squads, sports teams, and in the basest of worlds there are gangs. However, in every combat situation each of us has to ultimately lay it all on the line–alone. Nobody can do our fighting for us. We don’t have the “Divine Right of Kings” that enables us to raise an army to do our fighting for us. So, we have to do the right thing even though we find ourselves alone.

In bodybuilding we quickly learn that “NOBODY IS GOING TO DO IT FOR US” and worse yet is that many times we are also going to be all alone in the gym perfecting our craft. We will raise up our heads and only see the janitor moving about and doing his required duties—-if we are lucky! The music in our heads becomes our only link to the outside world. It’s a reminder that there are other people in the world waiting for us to emerge from our solitude to see what we have forged in silence. Somewhere deep inside we conjure up the spirit needed to push forward. It’s us and nobody else.

I will reiterate that the path to the next level and then on to greatness is lonely. But, it is here on this journey that we learn where our strength comes from to continue. God, has built into each of us the tools that are derived from the singular soul that he gave us. In isolation, like David, we experience the power that makes us strong, versatile, and hard as flint to go on. Alone is a bad thing in a social sense, but it is absolutely essential to tapping into the hidden personality that will bring forth strength, focus, confidence and peace that we need to win.

To my comrades in iron we all know this language intuitively. We need no instruction. We only need guidance to make it all so. In all other areas of life the same path has to be traveled. In the end we stand like Greek Marble statues because we did it alone and learned the secrets hidden inside of us by God.

Bottom Line: Stop depending on others to do the work you have before you. The Cavalry is not coming to rescue you. Dig in and learn as you labor to be the best. Strength and character comes in the morning—or on stage!