Author: Doug Graham

go to http://www.sixpackandsenior.com to see all my articles and photos

All of us “muscle heads” who have advanced in school to play sports at the next level understands that the next level requires a different mindset, a different effort level, a different way of doing things, a different perspective. All that we know right up to this next level seems to be old and outdated. We are not always smart but we do know that life has just changed for us if we want to continue playing the sport of our choice.

Some of the transition points are Freshman, Sophomore, Junior Varsity, Varsity. Then, in college it goes from high school to a large campus with superior athletes that want our jobs on the playing field, the court, or the mat. At each of these new levels is the demand that we grow up physically, psychologically, emotionally as our drive to excellence matures. To say it succinctly, “We have to bring a different version of you/me to the challenge.” We have to become the person/warrior that is not only different but “better” than the previous version of ourselves. Another way to say it is, “We are introduced to our OTHER selves.” That new and different you/me has to be up for the challenge and ready to compete in order to make it and stay there at the point of competition.

Dan Gable, the great Olympic Champion and 4 time NCAA wrestling Champion and Coach of the University of Iowa said it well, “My philosophy is to be always on the attack.” Never should one of his wrestlers rest on his point lead in a match or step onto the mat thinking he could wrestle any other way. In order to compete at this level you have to check the old warrior at the door. To be here in Gable’s world you have to demand a different me/you. When we attack another level we, quite literally, must become something new, different, and better. Our old glory days have to be forgotten. All that matters is this level and these goals. Anything less is a failure to understand the requirement to bring your new “YOU” to the dance.

In closing, always consider where you are going and what the objective is. By knowing when we make the transition from being a lower level competitor to a higher level monster we create the person we need to become to win. Bodybuilding is the epitome of constant change. With each level of change there is a personal price (demand) to be our best selves at stage time.

CHANGE IS REQUIRED BUT MORPHING INTO THE PERSON THAT IS DEMANDED TO APPEAR IS PARAMOUNT. There is no other way……Doug

It’s an absolute travesty to think/believe you only have a single choice of a single path in life. However, most of us grow up with only a couple of options. Usually, these options are related to what our parents did or what we think we can attain. Even the attainment expectation is predicated on our own desires, life experiences, other peoples’ expectations for us, and a learned self-image. Nobody comes into the world with a set of directions tied to their butts. Most of what we do is due to our own making and so it’s imperative that we learn the basic rules of life and then we must learn what is required of us to attain that which we seek.

The critical test for us, as I see it, is to not feel compelled to do what everybody else has done. We tend to gravitate to “the tried and true” just because it’s easy and safe. We watch expectantly as 96% of our colleagues choose “the road MOST traveled” and we see the predictable results. We get in line, so to speak to await our turn to do things the same as all others. But, if we are honest, we do not want to be like everybody else. We begin to resist repeating the plans, ways, effort, and the same path as everybody else. We want a different result so we choose another way to our desired end. This is our salvation from being a self-motivated copy cat. But, if we take the “tried and true” path we will arrive again at the same place as everyone else. Not good! Our goal is to win. In order to do so, we have to shun the safe and sometimes go down the path “LESS traveled” to be the last man standing on stage.

Bottom Line: If something works, honor it. However, if you want to be the one who dared step off the “righteous path” and pulled out all the stops to win on our terms…..You have to be “NOT AFRAID” and do things differently and more perfectly to win. We have to do the unconventional to defeat, self doubt and fear and to get comfortable with being on a totally different wave length and thus a totally different path.

Lastly, being afraid to change is normal. Making the needed and actual change is true “bravery.”

Wow! This really grabbed me. Very simple and to the point. Recall that often things worth having are very hard to attain and sometimes it is equally hard to retain. There are two parts to winning, 1.) Attainment and 2.) Sustainment. In these two things we must decide that if we get what we want can we keep it. Marriage is a classic. If we spend our time pursuing and then marrying the greatest woman in our world we have to also be willing to sustain that marriage. Simple concept to state and a real challenge to execute. Both steps are essential and one cannot happen without the other.

In bodybuilding we have to believe that we “can do it!” We have to attack the goal(s) with a vengeance. There cannot be any half ass efforts. Training with a purpose yields gains we are acutely aware of. We know by experience whether we are giving it our all or whether we are just going through the motions. Our uppermost image of ourselves must be that we are doing it and our effort demonstrates our belief that we can do it! Quitting is not an option. We chose this course/journey sometimes against the advice and opinions of many trusted friends and family. But! Here we are! Nothing can stop us now.

This is the time that we dare not “LET OURSELVES DOWN.” Remember, that failure is painful and costly but the price of regret is forever. We are on the track headed into the arena. We cannot fail. We can do it. Now, we cannot let ourselves down. Climb those stairs onto the stage and take your place alongside the Titans who dared to be where you are. You have just won. YOU have not let yourself down.

Where do we go from here? 1.) Believe it. 2.) Do it. 3.) Don’t let yourself down. 4.). REPEAT

Aint it the truth? The longer and harder we train or seek after something we have got to accept the fact that “the cavalry is not coming to rescue us.” Each day that we stay after it the harder it seems for us to get closer to our goal and the less confident we are that we can get there on our own. All of us who seeks to win at bodybuilding has to decide what we have to do to be the last man standing on stage. Once we have zeroed on the way to get it done, it then becomes imperative that we stick to our plan and to do all that is required to be at the top at the end of the night. The best advice I can provide is that each of us abandons the idea that somebody else or some other system is going to get the job done. It’s at this point that “light goes on” and we face the realization that WE are the only savior for our endeavor. This is where we define ourselves as the architects of our lives.

This juncture causes us to get behind our own effort and begin to “PUSH OURSELVES” because the reality is that we have to pull up our “big boy pants” and do the hard work to win. It’s a fearful thing for some of us to grasp the concept that no help is the rule and it’s our responsibility to reach deep to make it happen for us. Remember that the world does not care about you or your accomplishments! You and you alone are the only ones that care enough to go on long after all seems wrong or lost, “Pushing harder on yourself” is the only way forward. Once we learn this foundational truth we are now empowered to win…….We will never be a dependent creature/competitor ever again.

This is our “lot in life!” No savior or helper must cause us to be better. My final thought is that we will win but only after we learn to “PUSH OURSELVES BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR US.” This is our greatest key to victory….It’s very simply “our choice” to push ourselves to win. Nobody gains real fame by association. It has to be earned by each of us and only after we experience the desperation and realization that winning belongs to each of us as we do it alone…..

Any of us who have lived through difficult times or who have desired to be better knows this truth. Letting go after losing, making a solemn personal promise, or coming to the end of ourselves (the prodigal son or the every man’s story) understands that in order to move in another and better direction requires us to throw away something that is causing a drag on us. Let’s take the prodigal son as a first example, When he came to himself and realized that even the lowest of his father’s animals were better off than he was, he determined to go home and beg to be part of his father’s house again and be forgiven for being so arrogant and stupid. A truly bad situation to be in but he did what he had to do. He became a better son and a better person. He had to die too himself.

Bringing the conversation back to bodybuilding there are times when we are getting killed, injured or are languishing while others are blowing the doors off. We feel defeated and there seems to be no way forward. It’s here that we have to submit ourselves to others whom we trust and who know what we need. This is a tough pill to swallow. Our egos take a severe beating at this point.

It’s not that we don’t care but being able to recognize when we need help and are smart enough to ask for it and act on it. Always remember that when we need something more we often have to let something we have counted on as important to die and go away. We do this because this thing (personality trait, false belief, friendships, and sometimes marriages) are no longer enhancing our lives or enabling forward progress. The storm must occur and we must lose in order to rise again as a much better person and a more determined soul to progress and to be better.

This whole process is extremely painful and there is no guarantee of success but the choice, the action, and the consequences have to be made. Another way to say it: You can take a chance and act when it’s obvious to do so or you can stay where you are and live on your knees with a heavy chain of regret.

In the gym, look for the road forward and do what’s required. Listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before. Let that part of you die that is making you doubt and to remain the same.

Be better by losing that which keeps you from rising again and being better. Fear of losing what we have is a heavy burden but living with and bearing the burden of regret extinguishes the spirit. You will be a much better version of yourself…..Don’t believe anything less!

When I was 13 I sustained a jagged wound on my right inner forearm just below the elbow. I was at the swimming pool and I reached over an old chain link Long Fence to fetch my towel which had dropped on the other side. I pulled my arm back after I had secured my towel and I received a massive gash from the fence. I bled like a “stuck hog” and I got blood everywhere. I was taken by the swimming pool staff to physicians office where I received 9 stitches and a pretty hefty bandage. I cried like a little baby. Also, I was supposed to play a baseball game that night and so I did. I could not extend my arm for fear of popping the stitches from the wound. But, like a stupid 13 year old I played 2nd base. Around the 2nd inning I got a grounder to my right near the bag, I turned like I normally would and uncorked a perfect throw to the first baseman. Blood gushed out from under my hefty bandage and ran down my arm. I played injured, I survived my teenage idiocy, and to this day I have a scar that reminds me of my youth. Nobody can ever say that I could not play hurt. It’s been the story of my life.

Each of us have scars either on our bodies or in our psyche or in our hearts that attest t o our toughness to “take the pain” and still go on. Rarely, do any of us take the time to explain the scars and often nobody else even knows about our scars. Scars are deeply personal and should remain so. Afterall, they belong to our human experience.

As noted, a scar is simply a reminder to ourselves and to those who know us that we have taken a hit and survived. When we lose at sports, academics, at love, or in the workplace we learn something more about our constitution as people. The biggest lesson is that we cannot quit just because we are hurt. We have got to learn the lessons related to digging deep. Finding the strength and reasons to keep going. When we are injured there is always a scar from the encounter with defeat. This scar is a reminder that we are tougher than we look or feel. We have learned also to win when winning seems out of the question.

I can recall standing beside some of the fastest sprinters in the state and thinking life is about to be a crushing experience. I prepared for the worst as I got down into the blocks. But, years of training and years of pushing myself had prepared me for this moment….little did I know. When the gun went off and the 60 yard dash was all there was for about 5 seconds there was only effort and pain. I finished 3rd with my fastest time ever and I was just 15 years old. The scars of shin splints, sprained ankles, strained groin muscles, split calf muscles were my badges to bear. Nobody saw them but they were mine.

Each of us bears the markings and scars of being a winner. Nobody can give us what we have to learn. Life tries to hurt us just by showing up. But, the real testament to our human experience is whether we will try again when we have been hurt. We will never always win. But, we will always be given the opportunity fo overcome a personal hurt whether it is physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual or professional.

My parting comment is from the New Testament: “Be strong, be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world…..and all of us must overcome our own world………So, ignore the scars. They don’t hurt anymore but are simply reminders that we can have life after injury and hurt.

Ge back to the gym! Being hurt is not death!

go to http://www.sixpackandsenior.com to see all my articles, photos, and posts

I envy nobody

We all are measuring ourselves against other people and their accomplishments. We are often obsessed with trying to figure out why they make it and we don’t. It could be our best friend. It could be a professional athlete, the classmate that seems to have it all, our colleagues etc. To do this exercise always leaves us exhausted and defeated. The reality is that we have missed the truth. Most people around us never make it to their goals and rarely do they measure up to the standards they set for themselves. Hint! We are looking in all the wrong places and at all the wrong people to motivate us to be our best selves. I say, stay focused only on what you want for yourself and the ones you love. By blocking out the failures of others we are then free to build the personal expectations, goals, your life, your journey with no dead weight associated with guilt, shame, or regrets.

Now that we are free of artificial images of success and we have grasped the truth that we can make it by doing it ourselves. We have stopped the nonsense of “worship of others.” Today, especially in the gym for us muscle heads, move in a new direction that includes only you and your own progress. Dig deep and feel the difference in your training. Notice how easy it is to smile, to laugh, to horse around between maximal efforts. You truly are the “Captain of your own ship” and only you can sail it and only you can “MAKE IT.” I love to live in the moment and know that this moment will carry me to my future. I love pushing to the stage! Win lose or draw it’s all about doing it and “MAKING IT” when so many will not even try or will not make it.

“MAKING IT” is about far more than winning. It’s about finishing what you start and bringing it forward as a resounding victory. I like the description of a successful marriage that seems to fit this illustration, “WHAT STARTED AS A SIMPLE MELODY HAS GROWN TO THE ZENITH OF A ROARING SYMPHONY!” This says it all! We decide what we want and no matter who falls by the wayside as we progress, we push our efforts in the gym and in life to the level of “A ROARING SYMPHONY!”

Many are not going to make it! But, I believe I/we can and we will. There are no positive lessons as you look to your right or to your left. We don’t learn by asking life questions of the fighter who has been knocked out and is lying prostrate on the floor. Look inside and decide what you want and never give up the vision of “MAKING IT!”

go to http://www.sixpackandsenior.com for all my photos and articles

In order to be able to run fast, jump high, endure a beating, love intensely, we must be willing to suffer the requirements for accomplishment. There are no short cuts in life. Like the Navy Seals say, “When you are surrounded on all sides, we group up and CHARGE!” The best results that yield the best and most enduring lessons are the ones that costs us the most and the ones that are direct and straight to the target. Believe me when I say that this path is painful. However, be on track and focused on the target teaches us the best lessons.

My Father-in-Law, David S. King, Congressman Utah always said that the best lessons we learn in life are usually the ones associated with our worst failures. How many of us have said after a solid butt kicking, “I’ll never do that again!?” I think the answer is a universal, “ALL OF US!” I’m also betting that 99% of us who uttered those words actually ‘never did that again.’ So, supreme effort, coupled with supreme failure begets supreme lessons. As a result, because we handled the worst we are now very much prepared to “Handle the best.”

In bodybuilding we are always about the business of honing our craft. We have accepted the maxim, “There are no short cuts and we are on it. With each workout and the accomplishment of specified goals we learn the best way to handle our training is to show up every day, make personal observations regarding what works and what doesn’t work. There are times when we over train (my personal sin), become distracted, waste time, listen to close friends, relatives, and knuckle heads and thus we suffer. We have got to go where nobody else will go if we want the best for ourselves. The trip to the nether world will only be painful as we learn the tricks of the trade and persist on to the things that will make us great. These things we have to handle are sometimes bigger and more horrible than our minds can imagine. But! like a U.S. Marine friend of mine said, “commitment means biting off more than you can chew—-and chewing it”

This is our journey and it represents our lives. Don’t ever think that anything is free. But, you can think that almost anything is attainable with the right mindset and willingness to get dirty as we work.

In closing! Handle the worst things so you can handle the best things!

“A very simple to understand principle but a very difficult effort to implement and live!”

Every single person on this planet has to come to grips with these three principles. Pain begets a sense of being alive which solidifies our resolve to fight for the things we want and love. The the pain confirms that we are “in the game.” All of us has to believe that the only way to victory at any task IS our commitment to fight for it….and if I fight for it…..I can win.”

Most of us believe, or we have been taught that if we can just “speak out loud, that which we want, we can have it.” The idea being that by clearly stating your goals brings everything into focus and then into reality. I could not disagree more. The way of success is hatched in solitude, in the recesses of your mind way before we even begin the journey toward the stated goals. Just saying what we want helps but there is a world of difference between “talking about what we want” and “pursing” that which we desire.

The very first subjective and confirming event we experience is “PAIN” which occurs because we exert Herculean effort to start the journey. Pain can be physical, (as in bodybuilding), mental (as in marital relationships with wife and kids), or emotional (as in episodes of overwhelming discouragement, disillusionment, or conversely “Giddy Emotional excitement.”

For our purposes here and how it relates to Bodybuilding will be our focus.

“Pain” is secondary to extreme physical effort. There is something paradoxically tortuous and magical at the same time when pain comes as a result of extreme physical effort. It is encouraging and it defines the price that must be paid to win. It’s this dichotomy with resultant pain that confirms to me and all those who do bodybuilding that we are “ALIVE” and on the journey to being better. It’s this effort with resulting and predictable “PAIN” that sets our faces like flint to win. Being totally aware of being “ALIVE” sets the stage for us to win. Strangely, the “PAIN” of training makes us feel “ALIVE” and confirms in our hearts that we can win…..I would take it a step further and say that because of the “PAIN”we are “obligated” to win. Besides! Why willingly subject ourselves to “PAIN” and then choose NOT to win? I’m many things but I am not a masochist. It’s all worth it.

So, this discussion is mostly about being self aware and allowing the natural process of accomplishment to dictate the outcome.

This is the Sequence of events that must be experienced along the way. Close your eyes! Imagine what must be done after you see and understand the requirements to win:

1.) Effort which causes PAIN

2.) Confirmation via the pain that we are ALIVE

3.) By realizing we are alive we now can (Must) WIN!

In summary, these steps are just another series of ideas for us to focus on to keep all of us moving forward. By latching on to the essence of each step in the process and turning each step into something great we accomplish new things that will push us beyond the moment to the thing we have decided is “worth it” to have.

Never look back….! This is your time……

Most of us can related to this little gem. If you want something bad enough we will do almost anything to get it. Can you remember when you just had to see your girlfriend during the early days of “puppy love” and her parents seemed hell bent on keeping you out of the picture? Of course you can! Remember the chances you took just to hear her voice, see her, hold her hand, smooch her and to inhale her essence? The whole experience was intoxicating. You would scratch on the screen to her room until she came to the window. The rest was “MADNESS” but worth every risk, every moment to possess her attention. Boom! Life was suddenly alive and all “MADNESS” was put into play…..We win!

In the world of bodybuilding there are so many parallels to this story. At first, it was trying it out. Then, it was a regular thing. Then there were goals. Then there were plans. The plans took on a life of their own. Then, the first show came around and “MADNESS” took over. You would hide your intentions so as not to be ridiculed. You may even workout twice per day. Once with all your gym buddies and then late at night when there was nobody watching. Without thinking you filled out the applications for the NPC Card, then the selected show. Too late to go back now. Nobody really knows except a select few.

The day of the show arrives. You make up some excuse about being out of the loop for a day or so. “MADNESS” reigns with every minute of preparation. Nobody does this sort of thing you tell yourself. However, here you are!

When you are waiting to go up on stage you’re terrified about the whole experience. You secretly want to do well but also you don’t want to be discovered by those who can render judgment and hurt you and say out loud while laughing at you, “I told you so!”

“MADNESS” prevails! Up you go along with the other competitors. Your heart pounds. You sweat. You entertain every fear you have ever had. You do the poses, turns, you flex, you grunt and when it’s done you exit to the right….Relieved! You made it.

Just know that nothing in life and certainly in bodybuilding is accomplished without extreme risk and a “TOUCH OF MADNESS!” Nobody, sets out on a journey knowing the end. But, more often than not, we and many others talk ourselves out of the journey because of the fear of the unknown. But, it is precisely here that our “MADNESS” must save us from our life of quiet desperation. We take the step toward what we want knowing full well we might not make it. But, the “MADNESS” required will be worth it and we begin to believe it and so we do it. The victory belongs to he who prepares and is willing to get into the arena.

Nothing is for sure in life and bodybuilding is an object lesson in this universal truth. But, in order to live the “EVERY MAN’S STORY” we have to do the irrational/MAD thing to get it done and to win.

I wish the best. for all of us who are willing to exercise “MADNESS” to be our best or to touch that which others have defined as unreachable. Start and never look back. Nobody can take it away but you can surrender your dream by not exercising a “TOUCH OF MADNESS!”