Author: Doug Graham

The central idea behind self improvement is that we are actually getting better at something in particular and ourselves over all. How many times have we lived through the daily routine of waking up, going to the bathroom, eating breakfast, taking. shower, selecting and putting on our clothes for the day, departing for work, arriving at home after a tough day on the job and not remembering much about the day just completed? Then repeating this sequence daily for an entire year and having the same meaningless assessment of what we have accomplished. In fact, when we try to recall the major things we conquered over the year we draw a complete blank. Ouch!

This is the point at which we must determine, right up front what we want to accomplish in the year ahead. I would suggest you reduce your goal to paper. Take pictures of it or, in BIG LETTERS hang it on the fridge. It must be kept always before your eyes as a reminder of what this year is meant to be. I am totally on board with the notion that if we don’t progress in an objective way from year to year we are probably, at best stagnant in our growth or backsliding as we surrender our previous gains. Like Terry Bradshaw, MVP Quarterback for the 1970s’ Pittsburgh Steelers said, “MY ONLY JOB IS TO ADVANCE THE FOOTBALL.” Our jobs are diffuse but each of us has something we really want to get better at or to win at.

In bodybuilding we make it a point to measure things. Even in the off season or between shows we settle into a measured or understood existence to keep what we have earned through hard work. By the time we reach “SHOW TIME” we have measured twice and cut once every possible area in preparation for the contest. I have three things I try to accomplish with each show, 1.) Be in the best shape of my life. 2.) Do not make any disastrous mistakes on stage. 3.) Move up or finish higher this time than last time. (i.e. third last time, 2nd this time). If I do this then the whole experience has been worth it and I chalk it up as a success. This process will be repeated as many as 3 times in any given year, so I’m very aware of my progress or lack thereof.

Life is like this in all aspect. The purpose for objectivity in measuring improvement in any given area is that we them have something to hang our hats on. We know the world is getting better and we can prove it. Unrelated to bodybuilding you may want to keep a daily record of how many days in a row you told your wife you loved her. This exercise is guaranteed to improve a vital aspect of your marriage. Other areas to measure that will definitely improve your self mastery is Daily Scripture Study, Daily Cardio, Genealogy Study, Journal writing and so many others. You must decide what you want to be faithful at over a year. Establish the reason and let that reason drive you daily to a successful change in who you are.

Bottom Line: Set the Target. Develop a plan to hit the Target. Execute the plan. Measure each step toward the Target. Treat yourself and your wife/husband to a celebration after winning. Self Mastery really can be measured and will keep you motivated to move ahead. This will never allow you “TO BE FEARFUL OF BEING THE SAME PLACE NEXT YEAR S YOU ARE TODAY.”

Have at it and the best you “MOVING FORWARD.”

This concept of being above the norm is part and parcel of my personality and my efforts. I have a T-Shirt that was produced by the great Branch Warren that says on the front, “MOTIVATED BY THE FEAR OF BEING AVERAGE.” It’s interesting that we want the best but we are not willing to exert the required effort to get the things we say we want most. Conversely, I read a book and listened to the lecture from John MacArthur who is a Pastor and Lecturer entitled, “Living Below the Level of Mediocrity.” Indicating and discussing in great detail how and why people (Christians in particular) refuse to rise to the challenge of simply being better than they are and the bigger question as why they don’t do better than the average person.

I submit that all us, especially bodybuilders with whom I interact, need to forget being a best friend. We have turn our motivation into a personal whip that causes us to leap over the crowd entrenched in the daily grind. We should set our goals so high that touching down only occurs when there is “goal accomplishment” on the horizon or in the bank. This small adjustment puts us head and shoulders above the average person who settles only for what they have.

Train like there is no more tomorrow. My ex-coach, Justin Dees used to say we should always be about the business of “perfecting our craft.” I don’t care if you are a mathematician, a coach, a bodybuilder, a wrestler, a pastor, a theologian, a policeman or anything else. If you are satisfied with who you are and what you have become then your goals are too small.

Bottom Line: Losing is never and option. Being average is another form of death. Being better is the only goal worth striving for. Let being less than you are scare you. This is one time it’s ok to be afraid.

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I’m betting that nearly every body builder or anybody who set out todo something greater than themselves has faced these two monsters….1.) Motivation and 2.) Discipline. All of us has been living our lives like normal human beings and suddenly like a “THUNDERBOLT” an image or an inspirational thought hits us. This “THUNDERBOLT” has the term “life changing” written all over it. The idea that we should make a change and go in a brand new direction is both frightening and exhilarating at the same time. Somehow, we know that this possibility needs to be addressed. It haunts us day and night. For us bodybuilders the decision to start down this path is loaded with tons of reasons NOT to do it. It is here that we need to get alone. Decide you are going to do it. Then make that plan and get going. Getting started is a minefield for all of us who have made the commitment to head for the stage. Let me submit, at this point that getting started is the first valiant step. It takes tons of guts to begin something that is new and different. We set ourselves up for gratuitous derision for those who are closest to us. They see us as the guy or girl that they grew up with and they refuse to see us in any other light. We, on the other hand have been hit by the “THUNDERBOLT” and we have to respond and get going or reject it.

I just got this quote from a good friend of mine that is perfect for what we are talking about: “Cowards Never Started, the weak died along the way, and then there was US!”–Phil Knight, Shoe Dog.

Please note that “STARTING” takes real bravery that nobody can see. We have to put on our game face with every step we take to get onto the playing field. the “THUNDERBOLT” (epiphany) is where we start. It serves as the ‘MOTIVATION” to get us to “fix bayonets”and charge. To get after it. Amazing how a little hint from our world or our psyche or the Spirit can get us to do things we never dreamed of.

After we have responded to the ‘MOTIVATION” to “START” and we are on our way to the gym we have to develop a personal trait that will carry us to victory. That thing that will carry us is “DISCIPLINE.” We who train know exactly what we are talking about. We don’t miss workouts, we eat strangely, we take supplements, we do cardio, we practice posing, all with an eye toward the stage. Nothing gets in our way.

When I was 19 and in the Navy we got a patient onto our service at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. He was a Marine Corps Chief Warrant Officer and he had a nickname and they called him Gunner Wall, he earned this nickname in WWII when he was a door gunner on a bomber. During a single attack on the bomber by Japanese Zeros (fighters) Gunner shot down 11 planes from his position in the door of the bomber. His colleagues called each shoot down a “smoker.” Thus, was born Gunner Wall.

Gunner got me aside one day in a stairwell. I had told him that my older brother was a lifer in the Marine Corps. He stared at me for a moment as I told him about my brother whom I have great respect for. Then, he says with wide eyed enthusiasm, “Your brother should get out of bed every morning looking forward to doing his job. While standing in front of the mirror shaving he should get so excited about getting out there to do the job he’s been given with so much energy that he nearly cuts his own throat. After he gets his uniform on and squared away he should check himself in the mirror and again get so cranked up that he kicks the door open and leaves his quarters on fire to do his job.” I’ve never forgotten that blast of over the top “MOTIVATION.” Wow! This is how we should start.

The next level is to find that thing that keeps us going after we have burned through “MOTIVATION” is “DISCIPLINE!” We have got to recreate the path to the stage or whatever we choose to do in life on a daily basis. “MOTIVATION” get us started…..“DISCIPLINE” keep us going. It will carry us when we have the least amount of “MOTIVATION” to continue. Sometimes training will feel like we are just sleep walking but continuing is the order of the day.

Bottom Line for all of us is that we dare not be “Cowards and not Start at all when we know we should. We have to stay strong and avoid weakness during the journey and die. We have to remember that when the COWARDS and the WEAKLINGS fail to go on there will only be us left to win.

“MOTIVATION” gets us started. “DISCIPLINE” keeps us going — to move on to the stage and the win. In other situations these two principles will pay off by accomplishing the degree, getting the job, marrying that special guy or girl. Get Started and never stop!

I am experiencing this “STORM” now. When the “STORM” arrives it is either a complete surprise and we are caught totally unaware and unprepared. Alternatively, we kinda know that there is the possibility of a “STORM” so we have done some preparatory thinking and acting to be ready. However, I submit that in either situation we will find ourselves inadequate, inept, and very much struggling to do the right things in the face of great adversity and turmoil.

In bodybuilding and in our families there is a reality that requires acute and decisive action. Training has to be done and it has to be done daily. Loving you wife and kids has the same schedule—-“DAILY.” If you’re in shape and you are in love nothing be taken from you. Your body and your heart are inextricably attached to your attitudes, your goals, and today’s well being.

A couple of ‘STORM” examples for us to ponder. The first is an unanticipated injury that is severe enough to end your bodybuilding career and it happens with in a few days of the show. Wow! All that work and no place to go except to return home without competing. I heard a story once about the great Tom Platz. He was favored to win the Olympia but as “THE STORM” would have it, he tore his biceps muscle literally the night before the show. He had severe pain and a large rolled up biceps muscle on the front of his arm. This “STORM” came at him from nowhere. The story goes somewhat like this: He gutted it out doing all he could to lessen the damage, the pain, and the new unwelcome lump on his bicep. He competed the next day and gave it all he had as he was in obvious pain. He did not win the Olympia but he finished 5th despite “THE STORM’S” damage. This “STORM” was perfectly designed to break him. Instead, he through tons of grit made the “STORM” make him. By all accounts he was viewed as a hero. Millions of bodybuilders learned a great lesson in playing and continuing while injured and overcoming the devastation.

On a personal note. “MY STORM” was when my 11 year old son got Leukemia. Nothing in the world prepared me and my wife for this challenge. It was a “PERFECT STORM” that had all the makings of total wipe out of my son, my family, and me. The war was bigger than anything we had ever faced in our lives. I had to continue working and my wife stayed as long as possible with my son each day. Without belaboring the journey, “THE STORM” that could have defeated us totally was overcome after years of hard treatment, set backs, recovery and return to normalcy. After five years he was declared a survivor. He is a wonderful son, a great friend, and we are eternally grateful for him still being with us. This “STORM” did not break us. It made all of us a little closer and He was extended the precious gift of “LIFE.”

In any weathering of a “STORM” there has to be a change of focus with preparation if it’s possible, or sheer determination with a hint of divine intervention. To win means being prepared and/or disciplined enough to do the best thing under the circumstances.

Bottom Line: Nothing is wasted! Injury begets suffering, rehab, and rejuvenated focus on your goal. Calamity begets being driven to our knees to implore God to help while we dig in to do anything to limit the damage and hurt it bestows upon us.

Both types of “STORMS” have to strengthen us and “MAKE” us or it’s just a destructive force that ‘BREAKS” us. Get up! We are still alive and driven to excellence.

We all want stuff to happen immediately or by the simple push of a button. This is always an impossibility but this is just the nature of the beast. Immediate gratification is god that was baked into our being since kids. We were born after the generation of the “Great Depression” and “World War II” where there was nothing easy. This generation vowed that their kids (us) would never face the life of deprivation that they suffered through. As a result we were cursed with sense of entitlement and impatience that has dominated us and our children since then. As a result, if something (like bodybuilding) is to be participated in we try to impose on it our attitude and our impatience. We know how this story ends….and it’s not pretty….but we learned a brand new skill. We learned persistence coupled with focus and effort yields long term changes and results that will serve us well. Not to mention we will accomplish anything in front of us if we stick to these principles.

I’ve been so busy that training has been hard to fit in and then when I do I do a very weak workout. If I continue in this path I am the loser. But, I picked up a super quote recently that illustrates this, “What we do today will be tomorrow’s accomplishment.” Translation: “THERE IS NO SHORTCUT”—Only persistence, focus, effort, and time will give us the results we want and that nobody can take away.

I say, “DREAM BIG DREAMS” and fix a single dream in your mind. Surrender the temptation to think that we control the rate at which time is spent. We can only control “HOW” the time is spent. All great bodybuilders will testify that they have put in tons of time, even while they worked a job and raised a family. The dreams we have as bodybuilders are bigger than life and these dreams require tons of time.

Bottom Line: Dream big dreams. Know that these dreams will never come to pass unless we water them with our time spent on them. Never abandon a wonderful thing because it takes too long. Relax! Even if you don’t do it, time will be gone anyway. So, dig in and make it happen with the time you control…..I promise you that your dream will appear…….Your call! Extra bonus.….Your wife or your husband will love seeing you in your posing gear—-or less!

This is an ages old dilemma. We see what we want and the first thing we do is dread what others will say about what we want. We imagine they will tell us that we don’t NEED to do that. or, they will QUESTION WHY you want that. My favorite is, OH HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE A BIG SHOT!. Another one is horrible. HE JUST LOVES DOING THE BIG THING FOR ATTENTION! Ouch! None of these things are true but when people resort to discouraging or disparaging comments about us or our goals it takes the wind out of our sails. Sometimes after a couple of these terrible statements in front of us, we retreat to a place in our heads where we doubt our choice or our desires or our ambition and ultimately we question whether we are worthy to even dream of what we want. This time is crushing and the “arguments with ourselves in front of the mirror are intense.

When we have resolved to ignore those that take our ideas, goals, and personal worth apart, we are more than ready to go after that lofty goal.

Muscle heads pay attention! When you get a little older and the bug to train, get big, get lean and to ultimately compete on stage hits you—look out!Those who say they understand you and know you will become your most feared critics. This is where character comes in. “Be true to thyself!” Let them talk and complain and try to derail you. Go to the gym and train. Eat that crummy food. Run and do cardio. Eat supplements. Hang out and train with other muscle heads. It’s your life and this is your choice and this is your culture and your dreams are here. As I like to say, “Do not follow a multitude to be stupid and lose.”

Also, keep in mind that these harmful prophets of “YOUR” doom will never do what you do. They have settled to live “Below the Level of Mediocrity.”–John McArthur. You have chosen to compete against other likeminded athletes when you have been relegated to somebody else’s expectations. Their icons and their idols are way too small for you now. Set your goal in front of you and obsess on it. Never allow somebody else set your rudder. Set your face (Like Jesus the last week of his life) like flint toward the stage.

This is your chance to make believers out of your worst and most painful critics. Do NOT disappoint yourself with a half ass effort. Train and practice as if there is no tomorrow.

Big goals require a big effort. See you in the Winner’s Circle. It is here where I want to discuss your next BIG DREAM!

Just take a look backwards and recall something you set out to accomplish or possess. Reflect for a moment on all that was required. You had to first decide it was worth it. A plan had to be put together. Then the journey to the winner’s circle began. The whole process was devised with a reward and a certain level of consequence in mind. We thought about what we would tell people when they asked what we were up to. Being transparent in advance of our effort exposed us to a very real amount of trepidation. We were afraid that they would criticize us so severely we would abandon our goals. Does this sound familiar?

But! This is where it gets interesting. All of us pushed ahead despite divulging our plans. We took the arrows of doubt shot at us. We endured the discomfort of the whisper campaign about our plans that declared us nuts and that we were full of ourselves, etc. However, our bodybuilding journey, or our academic aspirations, or our goals to do something that has not been written into the script for our lives is the excuse to be better. We see it. Then we respond to it. We plan. We innovate. We put in the time and effort daily like clockwork. Up early, eating on time, sleeping as needed, thinking of our goal at all times. Obsessing if necessary but always we discipline ourselves to work and to attain the stated mission. One day we step forward to receive that which we sought. Boom! It’s ours! Naysayers be gone!

The flip side of accomplishment because we succumbed to the opposition is a deep sense of regret. This is not the same as paying the price of discipline to get something. We now enter the dark world of painful regret. We are ashamed that we did not do what we knew we had to do or that we were called to do. This pain of regret always reduces us by some degree as people. It’s never fun and it’s always a negatively defining moment.

I also need to say that the pain of regret can give way to a new determination to “never let it happen again.” Enough!! our minds scream at us. This living with regret is for the birds. I will never take the easy way that is lined with excuses ever again. It’s too painful….So you see, regret can have an upside by extending to yourself forgiveness and redirecting our energy to the discipline to succeed.

Bodybuilding has given me and many others the forum to understand life a little better. Winning is essential with no holds barred and no shortcuts taken. No personal cheating and self deception is allowed back into our worlds. Head for the stage fellow muscle heads. Winning is really all about discipline and learning to do it right. Regret is about abandoning discipline, doing it wrong and suffering the consequences.

Final note: Pay the price of discipline so as to avoid the pain of regret.

Nearly every day I wish life would be a little easier or that I could accomplish today what I’ve set out to do…..Just bring it all to a “massive crashing soaring symphonic conclusion.” But, as life would/will have it the work goes on…..The purpose of the “STRUGGLE” has many tendrils. First, you cannot grow unless there is resistance. Second, we cannot mature as people unless we take on the hard stuff and through hell and high water we make it work. Thirdly, is the attaining of the greatest platitude of “APPRECIATION” for the goodness that effort has placed in our hearts.

Each of us when we walk into the gym are overwhelmed at times by the physiques and dimensions of some of those already training. We are a little intimidated. We wish we could have what the seemingly gifted men named “Adonis” have…but we don’t—-YET! WE HAVE A CHOICE AT THIS JUNCTURE. WE CAN GET DISCOURAGED AND MAKE UP LIES/EXCUSES FOR OURSELVES AS WE SLINK AWAY WHIPPED or we can man up and set the next goal that leads us to the top where we want to be anyway.

I’m pretty short and sometimes when I stand on stage beside guys that are easily a foot taller than me I feel alone and very outclassed. But, I always take pride in the obvious things I possess. Nobody, beats my chest, shoulders, back, or arms. I might have other deficiencies that night that cause me problems but these are my “calling cards.”……Nobody takes them…..

I am forever telling guys that we have to develop a total package to win and Lord knows I try and try and fail…..But, I also believe that you bring your best parts to the gym and build on what’s already good and get after the weaker ones. Let the good things you have set the stage for the hard work that has to come next.

Nothing is easy and we who do this thing called bodybuilding, and we would not have it any other way. We inhale and exhale the work and THE STORM that is set before us. We have learned that nothing is free and sometimes what we get costs us everything. But, the best part is that nobody gave it to us. It’s ours because we paid the price to have it. COME AND GET IT!

Bottom Line: EMBRACE hard work. It defines you and provides the greatest gift in the world….GREATNESS THAT WE HAVE EARNED.…So go knock yourself out….This is your journey…..Be great as you “EMBRACE THE STRUGGLE!”

You have to believe me when I tell you that “I’m terrified of heights.” If I was captured by the enemy and the enemy wanted information they would be wasting their time to torture me……They ain’t gettin’ nothin’!!! But, if the enemy knew of my fear of heights, they could just take me to a very high place and threaten to throw me off and thus would begin the calmest and most collegial seditious conversation in all the world. My fear of heights has been faced numerous time in my life doing zip lines, rappel down ropes, ascend to the top of gigantic buildings in glass elevators, walk along narrow paths on the side of a mountain, fly in helicopters with the doors open etc. However, just because I faced my fear and did some “boy wonder stuff” does not mean that the fear went away. I still hate being in high places. Interestingly, flying does not bother me in the least.

The key thought is that fear is fear and it’s a good thing. The end game is that fear does not paralyze us from doing our jobs or living our lives otherwise. Fear is nothing more than a hurdle to get over and to do so is a Herculean test of the will to exercise courage. Courage is the discipline to continue despite facing a fear that often besets us. Courage is the determination to finish what you started in the face of an unanticipated or known fear that lies between you and your goal. Sometimes, courage is all we have left to cross the finish line.

I am fortunate to have one malady and not several but the number of fears is irrelevant.

In bodybuilding it’s important to show up despite layers of fear threatening to derail us. I can remember the first time going up the stairs “alone” onto the stage. I trembled, I feared making a fool of myself, I doubted my appearance, I was afraid I’d freeze up and get laughed off the stage. All that went through my mind. But, I was able to reach deep and push these insecurities aside. I went out there and finished high enough to get 3 trophies in various divisions that night.

Being afraid is ok! Not facing them is quite another. Let me repeat myself. You do not have to enjoy overcoming fear. But, in order to progress and accomplish your stated goals it is imperative that “Courage be tapped to take you home.”

Bottom Line! As you approach performance in bodybuilding just remember that everybody else has come this far with you. I have three goals when I compete. 1.) Be in the best shape of my life. 2.) Don’t make any dumb mistakes (e.g. turning left when the judges tell you to turn right). 3.) Move up from the last competition. If I can do these three things I am entitled to eating too much of the wrong stuff right after the show. This, in turn, entitles me to baptize all the hub caps in the parking lot as I barf my way to my car.

I heard Calvin Murphy, a very short guard in the NBA for the Houston Rockets say, “I’m not afraid of no man.” This must be our attitude forever. Fear takes us nowhere and Courage will take us home.

No matter where we are in life each of us will have cross roads we come to or a fork in the road to cause us to choose a way forward. Try as we might we never can quite see enough to decide smartly which road or fork to take. Sometimes though, we know in advance which road to take and it’s more a matter of courage to take the one which takes us to our goal and our “end game.” This is rare I admit but that this is the theme we are discussing. Knowing what to do and then having the courage to do it is the challenge.

We all fantasize about getting the chance to do what we set out to do. All obstacles have been removed then, ‘BAM!” We are standing right in front of our way to the top and we balk. We second guess ourselves. We think doubtfully about our ability to actually charge the hill and win. It is here that we separate ourselves from our other evil selves. We have to step up and take the risk or we will forever be silent and defeated. It’s time to pull up our “big boy pants” and step into the unknown game to win. This is a risk and it is a chance. The chance is defined as the opportunity and the risk is what we are willing to wager on ourselves to use the chance to win.

In bodybuilding we work to exhaustion. We plan for the future and the rewards to be gleaned. But, we jump into the fray as we are assured that the way is known. Heading for the stage is daunting enough. Taking the correct approach is a choice based on a chance the risk that is required to be assumed to get there. The hardest part of hitting the stage is choosing to actually do it.

My advice is to see the chance. Take the risk once we decide it is worth it. Start and never look back. Nothing is guaranteed but you have to commit.

In closing you must see the Chance. You must see the risk it involves. Decide to do it and never look back. Never settle for today. Always risk it all for the chance to win…..tonight!