DESCRIPTION OF THE ASSAULT ON OUR DREAMS
All of us, at one time or another, had friends or associates that openly “counseled” us to stop wasting our time doing what we have been doing. They like to say things like,”you don’t have to do this prove you are a man or that you are good.” Another Biggey is to impugn your sense of “priority” in that “we just don’t have our priorities right and something else is being neglected because of our quest.” Sanctimoniously, they try to leverage or extort guilt, and shame, and regret so that we stop what we are doing based on their logic and perceptions. The whole goal is to discourage us and get us to quit. How sad that another person can even CONSIDER stealing another person’s dreams and then cloak themselves in righteousness and self vaunted wisdom. Beware the relative or friend “who is so heavenly that they are of no earthly good.”
OUR RESPONSIBILITY — CONTINUE TO PURSUE THE DREAM
When we face a person who is willing to denigrate us and our dreams (and all of us have at sometime during our lives), we have got to listen carefully and try to understand that their lack of confidence in us is driven more by their insecurities and regrets. Many, if not all of the naysayers have succumbed to the pressure from others to abandon their calling in life. They now are living lives of “quiet desperation” existing from day-to-day without a fire to drive them forward. Another category of discouragers are those that have had tremendous success in their lives and they see their advice and opinions as superior to our own judgement. It is “de facto” that our dreams are subservient to theirs. This is where we have to decide to continue the pursuit of our dreams in the face of great opposition.
ANECDOTE
When I was getting out of the Navy I had decided to go to the University of Maryland. When I presented and discussed my plans with a relative they said to me, “Now you are sure you want to do this?” It was like a knife to my chest. The tone of doubt and discouragement penetrated my heart. I felt so low that I thought I ought to just give up, go home and get a regular blue collar job in my hometown. This was the very thing I did not want,—but here it is! I had to decide what I was going to do. I returned to Maryland (we were vacationing in Iowa) and enrolled at the University of Maryland and jumped into my dream. I have been uniquely successful academically in my family. I am a clinician as a PA with residency in Emergency Medicine, and a Masters in Health Services Management, and I’ve done significant doctoral work in Health Policy. Note that I did not buy into the destruction of my dream because somebody thought their opinion was better. I did this right!
ACTION REQUIRED
We have to return to our workshops and press on. In bodybuilding I would say that we will go back into the gym and train like there’s no tomorrow. The people who don’t believe in us must be proven wrong. Otherwise we will be dragged down to their level. We have to double our efforts to be better and closer to our dreams. In doing so, we do not give power those who have given up on their dreams from destroying our aspirations. Hard work aimed at the attainment of our dreams or goals is the best response. At the same time we have to control our emotions. Think only of climbing our mountain and planting our flag at the summit. Nothing can stop us.
In closing, we who do bodybuilding (especially this late in life for me) have to have pretty thick skin to continue. Many will seek to derail us. I would encourage all of us who are on a quest, to dig in and do not let others steal the dream you have bubbling inside you.
Until Next time I remain, Douglas E. Graham, Lt Col, USAF, (ret), MHSM
Six Pack and Senior 